$3,000 of fug

You remember when the Post-Gazette revealed their Plush section, right in the midst of economic turmoil, right?

The Plush section’s motto is “Your guide to gracious living” where “gracious” means “HOLY SHIT WE HAVE A LOT OF MONEY TO SPEND!”

Plush revealed their Holiday Season fashion guide yesterday. In it you will find such gems as this:

Plan intimate dinner parties and impromptu cocktail parties at home, and be sure to do it with high style. Light the candles, dim the chandelier, build a fire and pop the cork of that great champagne you’ve been saving for a special occasion.

“Impromptu cocktail parties?” What do the rich do? Wait until 20 of their friends unexpectedly show up in their finest attire and then have the chef whip up some hors d’oeuvres and cocktails? (I’m a little embarrassed to admit how many tries it took me to get hors d’oeuvres close enough to correct so that spell check could fix it for me.)

Gem #2

Submit to underwear as outerwear.

Kinky!

Gem #3:

• Sharp shoulders — Back to the future, the sharp-shouldered jacket is at its best paired with slim pants or leggings and a confident attitude.

Here’s an example of such an outfit put together by the P-G:

The P-G describes this outfit as this:

Tuxedo jacket, $1,950, and draped pant, $965, by Balenciaga; shoes and gold and silver cuff bracelets from the Balenciaga fall/winter 2009 runway collection, courtesy of Emphatics, Downtown.

“Draped pant.”  I can’t even tell you how hard I laughed at “draped pant”.

Now, regular people don’t describe this outfit as tuxedo jacket and draped pant, we describe this outfit as:

“What in the name of the love child of LaMont Jones and Julie Bologna are you wearing?  Is this outfit your interpretation of what Joan Crawford would wear if she was captain of the Starship Enterprise? And while I appreciate the Steelers theme of your … well … I don’t know,  I can’t call them SHOES, that’s for damn sure,  I gotta tell you that you seem to have gotten a fabric softener sheet stuck in the back of one of them.  Also, I took some messages for you while you were out.  Christopher Walken wants his hair back, the entire female cast of Dynasty wants their shoulder pads back, MC Hammer wants his ‘draped pant’ back, and Tom Brady would really really like his shoes back.”

So if you’re walking downtown one evening in the cultural district and you see a scarily dressed woman with severe hair, pointy shoulders, and a bra over her sweater, stumbling about on shoes that would kill a sex-enraged rhino, never fear.  She’s not drunk or crazy.

She’s just rich.





75 Comments


  1. one-eyed dick
    November 19, 2009 3:08 pm

    Awww, yinz ‘burghers ain’t so “plush.”

    Last night, one of our Sarasota city commissioners suggested piping in opera music to a downtown park to chase out the bums. Our “plushies” have complained that they don’t like having to view the homeless on their way to dine, to shop, to see and be seen.

    Hey, maybe yinz can try ‘at opera music on dem pigeons you got up ‘ere, an ‘at…..



  2. butcher's dog
    November 19, 2009 3:34 pm

    Ditto Pensgirl and Nate. You’re the best, Ginny! Although the Dave Barry reference was a bit modest. I’d rate you higher on the satire scale than that. If anyone remembers TW3 (That Was The Week That Was) from back in the day, you’d fit right in there. Except you’re a bit too literary for that.

    Anyway, impromptu cocktail parties happen all the time. Most of us refer to them as “the times my freeloading friends/family showed up unannounced and wanted to drink my stash.” Don’t have to be rich to have freeloading friends and family. Maybe you have to be rich to plan when they’ll drop by.



  3. Deby
    November 19, 2009 3:46 pm

    I think that this is a perfect example of what I think you called, in an earlier post, the “Scroll-Down Fug.” The hair is hideous and, let’s be honest…she’s not attractive. And then, there’s that trailer-park eyeshadow. But, really, I don’t hate that jacket, although the shoulders are extreme. The top of the pants, not so bad. But as I kept going…good God. Before I read your comment about the fabric-softener sheet, I thought, “Did she tie a spare pair of knee-highs around her ankles?”



  4. Novos51
    November 19, 2009 3:54 pm

    I’m convinced that high fashion consists of throwing anything together and when the designer looks at it and is convinced that nothing matches, then they sell it.

    Talk about a scam. I’m sure many on here paid for pre-torn jeans. (I’m self admitting by the way)



  5. BagitTagit
    November 19, 2009 4:03 pm

    Did someone really say “that looks like something my mom used to wear in the 90’s” in the comment section???

    I’m F’n old dude.



  6. Lisa J
    November 19, 2009 5:02 pm

    Bagittagit…I must be old, too. I’m all like “huh?”.
    Anywho, I’m sitting at work reading this on my iPhone laughing so hard, there are teardrops on my phone. Thanks Ginny. And these comments?? Oh crap!! I’m dying here. Truely made my day.



  7. Cassie
    November 19, 2009 5:19 pm

    OMG. That’s just…beyond wrong. Where does it say that if you’re rich you have to look like a douche bag?



  8. MN
    November 19, 2009 5:27 pm

    There are just some things that should never come back in “style”, no matter what designers try to sell! I’m waiting for a combo of “draped/stirrup” pants now!



  9. gunnlino
    November 19, 2009 6:48 pm

    I’m thinkin’ Drag Queen from the Goodwill Store on Carson St.



  10. Sooska
    November 19, 2009 6:59 pm

    That woman looks like a humanized chicken, another beastie that I hate right along pigeons and sea gulls.
    What concerns me most are the shoes and ankle decor. Very dangerous. Then I realized this has to be a scene from some new S&M vampire movie being filmed here.



  11. beaner
    November 19, 2009 7:00 pm

    I do like the steps. Is that what plush people call a staircase? Pretty sweet.



  12. L-A
    November 19, 2009 7:29 pm

    @BagitTagit. I thought the saaaaame thing. yikes.



  13. Shibori
    November 19, 2009 9:24 pm

    It’s nice to know that if Lady Gaga visits Pittsburgh, she’ll have fun shoe shopping. But if this chick is typical of a Pittsburgh “model”, It’s no surprise we’re not a fashion mecca- she looks about 60. I bet I could come up with something at least this “fashionable” from any of the Gabe’s in town.



  14. northern girl
    November 19, 2009 9:34 pm

    Very funny commentary and very sharp to catch this in the ppg and have fun with it as well! smile
    But what saddens me is that it was written for people with chandeliers and the best champagne…when there are so many people in this community struggling to put food on the table and to pay their light bill…nothing against said wealthy folks…but just another example of how out of touch newspapers can be…how about ways to save money during holiday gatherings with friends and family…or how to put that perfect holiday outfit together on a shoestring budget…but those people don’t have money to pay for the advertising…sigh…



  15. Virginia
    November 19, 2009 10:30 pm

    Laughing out loud at SO many of these comments.

    Pensgirl, Nate and ButchersDog … you flatter me too much.

    Go on.

    I kid.



  16. NW Joe
    November 19, 2009 10:38 pm

    Wait a second. According to a Pittsburgh Business Times article (link: http://pittsburgh.bizjournals.com/pittsburgh/stories/2009/07/13/daily5.html), 4.66% of all PA households are worth 1M+. According to Census data, there are approximately 130,000 households in the Pittsburgh Metropolitan area. Assuming that Pittsburgh is representative of the state, we have

    130,000 X 4.66% = 6,058

    So there are 6,058 households worth 1M+ in Pittsburgh. According to the Census, each household has 3 people…..So, this article was apparently written for 18,174 people.

    That will teach you to question the PG’s editorial choices!!!!!



  17. Clementine
    November 19, 2009 10:48 pm

    Whoa. I just looked at the other photos… that is some srsly ugly, pretentious crap. And it looks even worse against the “old money” background.

    I do like the “one shoulder dress.” Although, it would be completely laugable on anyone not going to prom. But I think it’s pretty. Don’t judge me!



  18. Bojack
    November 20, 2009 8:51 am

    NW Joe wrote: Assuming that Pittsburgh is representative of the state,…

    HAHA!!!

    $1M doesn’t even decorate Romoff’s office, or pay the jet-fuel tax when he jets down to Jupiter Island EVERY THURSDAY and back on Monday!

    Oh yeah, I LUV the number Lukey is lamenting will cause the shortfall in public services, parks, no library, etc..

    $16M !!!!

    Sound familiar G20 fans??

    Anyone seen the “reimbursement?”
    Anyone seen an audit of the expenses??

    Don’t hold your breath and get chains for your tires cuz there will be NO plowing or salt!!



  19. red pen mama
    November 20, 2009 10:01 am

    @MN, I saw stirrup pants at a department store not two weeks ago. I had flashbacks to sixth grade. Eeek.

    ciao,
    rpm



  20. Steverino
    November 20, 2009 10:51 am

    That model looks like she’s thrown up everything she’s ever eaten.



  21. The Model in the Photo
    November 23, 2009 11:59 am

    Thanks for putting my picture up on your site, lovely!

    And I’m also very appreciative of everyone’s remarks about me. I DO need a Twinkie. AND a cheeseburger. And Steverino–your comment about me looking like I’ve thrown up everything I’ve ever eaten? Awesome. Because jokes about bulimia are ALWAYS hilarious. And we all know that all models are anorexic or bulimic, right? I mean, my thin frame wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact that I recently lost someone very close to me and, through the grieving, lost some weight, would it?

    No, of course not.

    Sure, I realize that by being in a public forum like a newspaper, I risk criticism. It’s cool. And, hey–I’ll even join in. I’d never wear a suit like that. But truly, I’m just a Pittsburgh girl, putting food on the table. I’m sorry my image has disgusted so many of you.

    I still had fun that day at the shoot. It certainly took my mind away from my grief for a few hours.

    And it helps pay the rent.

    with love from Pittsburgh,
    Laura (the “thin white duke”)
    p.s. Chris (comment #41): Thank you. Big hug.



  22. Noelle
    December 1, 2009 8:12 am

    That picture is going to give me nightmares, especially her “confident attitude” (a.k.a. her woefully misguided sneer of superiority). Before yesterday, I would have said Tom Brady wouldn’t be caught dead in those shoes, but I think he was wearing them last night.



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