- November 20, 2009
- filed under Ben Roethlisberger, Mayor Ravenstahl, Penguins, Pirates, Random, Sidney Crosby, Steelers, Troy Polamalu
The Torontoist recently Googled various Toronto searches to see what Google would suggest and the results were fun. Reader Charles suggested I see what Google Suggest has to say about Pittsburgh.
Let’s have a look:
Nothing too out of the ordinary there, and rest assured that I’m sure Lukey’s tuition tax will do wonders to combat that pesky “losing population” thing.
Let’s try another:
Only one negative search suggested in the list. Bravo.
Next, what are people ASKING Google about Pittsburgh?
BOO HEATH MILLER?!?! Who has ever booed Heath Miller and WHY would you boo Heath Miller?!
Or maybe this is because whenever Heath does something awesome, the entire crowd screams, “HEATHHHHHHHHHHHH!” I guess to an outsider, it could sound like booing.
It’s not, world! We love Heath Miller.
No, and we don’t NEED no stinkin’ cheerleaders.
Let’s stick with the Steelers theme:
I had to Google wigger.
Did you just learn what I just learned? That Benny is the douche and Skippy is the bag.
I give the Internets three weeks before we can get Jeff Reed is a fat gerbil on that suggest list. Then I can die happy.
That’s right. He’s dirty and thuggish. Or as I call him, “Thugalicious.”
Whoa. Look at that. Luke Ravenstahl PittGirl is a suggested search.
Your goal: Luke Ravenstahl is secretly in love with PittGirl. Make it suggest!
How ’bout them Suckitudes?!
Joke implies the presence of a funny punchline. There is nothing funny about the Buccos of Suckitude’s 17 years of suck. Let’s try to get “The Pittsburgh Pirates [gag]” to suggest.
And the best for last:
Which would you think is worse? Being the douche or being the douchebag?
Because if you’re Tom Brady, you’re actually both:
Finally, way up top when I clicked on “Pittsburgh is a dump” I stumbled upon a suggested “Pittsburgh Dump Truck” search which led me to Urban Dictionary which led to me an entire list of —
Well. I’m not even going to tell you. Just trust me when I say DON’T GOOGLE “PITTSBURGH DUMP TRUCK!”
Ah, why’d you go and do that?