What They’re Really Thinking: Snow White Edition

First, you Terrible Towel-burning Cincinnati fans … you scums of buckets … you sons of horse poop … my nephew has a message for you:

What …

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Ever …

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Made you a Major …

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Loser?

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Oh, that’s right, burning the Terrible Towel.

Suck on that loss.

Now that I’ve sufficiently gloated on behalf of the Ghost of Myron Cope, who would also like me to add, “Double yoi!”, let’s talk about our Steelers and their so very very sad loss, to which the Ghost of Myron Cope growls, “*&$% @^#%!”

I hear ya, Myron.  Which is scary.  Go ‘way now.

1.  Hi, ho!

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Hi, ho!

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It’s off to work we go!

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And dig, dig dig …

… dig, dig, dig, dig the whole day through …

… and dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig …

… is what we really like to do!

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Hi, ho! Hi, ho!

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It’s home from work we go …

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Hi, ho!

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2.  What a yucky, yucky, yuck-filled game!  I mean, Heath Miller dropped a perfectly catchable ball!  When is the last time that happened?

3.  And Benny!  Almost 400 yards, but two interceptions and one very ill-timed concussion.  That said, the King of Quarterbackylonia sure knows how to shake a sack sometimes.  Twice I counted what should have been sure sacks, easily shrugged off by Chewbacca.  Well done, Chewy.

Three times during yesterday’s game my mother said, “Ben is fat.”  Kinda.

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4.  I understand hindsight and all that, but do we think Jeff Reed could have made that 56-yarder to win the game?  I don’t know.  I kind of feel like … maybe?  The point, however, is that Mike Tomlin didn’t think he could.

5.  I just want you to know that I snapped those pictures of Jeff Reed picking his wedgie and I did it using my sister Pens Fan’s iPhone because it was the only camera handy and she was upstairs at the time and didn’t see me doing it.  So this happened a half hour later:

Me:  Um, there are some pictures I need you to email to me from your phone.

PF:  Pictures? What pictures?

Me:  Some pictures I took of the TV.

PF:  What of?

Me:  Just stuff.

PF: [grabs iPhone and flips through about 13 pictures of Jeff Reed picking his butt] YOU HAVE DEFILED MY PHONE!  IT WILL NEVER BE CLEAN AGAIN!

She’s cute.

Ohio Sister/Princess Aurora is moving to Pittsburgh soon with her family, so I expect to get the chance to feature her cute shenanigans more soon.

6.  Troysus is effin’ cute in a hat.

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We paused the TV just to be sure and after thirty seconds of gazing, we confirmed, effin’ cute.

Dirty boy.

7.  What more can I say?  Nothing, because I’ve had too much wine.

I blame this loss on two things in particular … penalties and, of course, special teams, which, DUH!

My mother would stop a return better than these guys and she’s got REALLY bad asthma and she’s in her 50s and she’d still be all, “BAM! YOU LOSE, LOSER!”

Then she’d bend over the return man, do that W, E, M, L thing my nephew taught her yesterday, take a nice suck of Advair and walk away.

She’s street like that.





32 Comments

  1. Lindsey G
    November 23, 2009 10:07 pm

    I think Benny looks like a fat Uncle Joey from Full House. It’s totally there.



  2. Stacey
    November 23, 2009 10:10 pm

    Did Jeff Reed ever find what he was digging for? Geez…



  3. Kim Z
    November 23, 2009 10:20 pm

    In other news, they made a joke about Mike Tomlin on House tonight. It wasn’t anything that my friends and I haven’t said about the resemblance between him and Omar Epps, but I can’t help but wonder how much of the House viewing audience thought, “Who is Mike Tomlin?”



  4. Magnus Patris
    November 23, 2009 10:20 pm

    Were we watching the Steelers or the Pirates yesterday? They wore black and gold, they played shitty… musta been the Buccos.



  5. tw
    November 23, 2009 10:26 pm

    Ginny,
    Love the nephew thing. My daughters came home with the same sign language (they’re 8) and think it’s cute to tease their little brother with it. Now i can show them some good use for those signs.

    Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) I could not see the game since Philly country decided the Redskins were more important. But after checking nfl.com and seeing the score 7 nothing after 16 seconds, i didn’t feel so bad.



  6. tw
    November 23, 2009 10:27 pm

    dont’ know why it puts a smiley face for the number eight…that was strange.



  7. hello haha narf
    November 23, 2009 10:28 pm

    it is completely wrong how hard i shook while laughing at the photo of benny seeing ponies and kitties and stars and adam lambert and cheesecake. i don’t care who you are, that’s funny right there.



  8. mfj
    November 23, 2009 10:35 pm

    a). Your nephew is pretty goddamn cute.

    b). Is it just me, or did one of the camerapeople have a big giant crush on Troysus? I think the entire third quarter was just him and his hat. Glad I was listening to the radio.

    c). That one cheerleader who was riding the horse? What the HELL?!?



  9. DG
    November 23, 2009 10:47 pm

    I am SO glad I am not the only one who watched Skippy picking his butt and thought 2 things. 1. WTHeck is he DOING??????? Doesn’t he realize he is on national tv (and then it occured to me what he normally does in public);
    and 2. WHY oh WHY don’t they cut to something else? Do they really need to televise his spelunking?



  10. Clementine
    November 23, 2009 10:47 pm

    Aw, gawd. Cheerleaders in go-go boots. And we lost to this. So, so wrong.

    Troysus is wearing the hat to conserve the power of his flowing mane, which shall be unleashed for the playoffs. Believe!!

    Lindsey G: Benny is Uncle Joey! How did I never see that before? Good call.

    I was hoping for some pics of Skeevy the Gerbil chasing the kickoff return (did he?), but I laughed so hard at the thought of your mom capping off her special teams ninja moves with a shot of Advair. Sooo funny!



  11. andrea
    November 23, 2009 11:11 pm

    Just curious, Ginny — how much wine is too much? Cuz I write really well with one glass in me, but by the end of two, I’m ready to sleep and the next day when I read what I wrote under the influence, I’m not nearly as clever as I thought I was.

    Since you obviously don’t have that problem, how much wine can you drink??? jsut wonderin’ so I can be jealous some more…



  12. bucdaddy
    November 24, 2009 1:04 am

    Flesh and funny.

    You rule, VM.

    Also: I think Benny is looking more like Fred Flintstone every day.

    Also: WAKE THE HELL UP AND LOOK AT THE PG WEB SITE!!! THE LUKEYS ARE SPLITS!!! HE’LL BE PROWLING THE STREETS LOOKING FOR SOME!!! HIDE THE WOMEN AND CHILL’REN!!! NO ONE IS SAFE!!!



  13. Pittsburgh Tom (now back in da burgh)
    November 24, 2009 1:32 am

    So when the Bengals send a signed Terrible Towel to the Allegheny Valley School to break the curse, should the school refuse it to keep the curse going?



  14. Still A Fan
    November 24, 2009 7:27 am

    Chewbacca is a nickname that should stick



  15. red pen mama
    November 24, 2009 8:02 am

    I am so glad that I was listening to the game on the radio while cleaning my kitchen. I can understand lingering on Troyus, but Skippy? Doing that? I don’t get it.

    And, yeah, Big Ben looks like Balloon Ben these days. AND he needs a haircut.

    ciao,
    rpm



  16. Sooska
    November 24, 2009 8:09 am

    Go pick 11 guys off small town streets of Western PA and at worst they could do exactly what the Steelers kickoff return team could do and they’d do it for FREE. They cannot do worse and they might, just might, do better cause they WANT TO. For Free.

    Chewbacca is easier to type than King of Quarterbackylonia. Is there another QB in the league who has a double chin?

    As Skeeve was doing this I was thinking, OH GINNY! I hope you are seeing this. The question remains, WHY was the camera on him the whole time?

    Troysus looks adorable in his hat. That might be the one good thing that game out of that game.



  17. Mary
    November 24, 2009 8:12 am

    Chewbacca is Khloe Kardashian … Duke of Fug sticks.



  18. Vivian formerly NYLuvsPitts
    November 24, 2009 9:05 am

    Eeewwww, Jeff!!! Maybe that’s what been holding him back from making tackles.



  19. Jcubed03
    November 24, 2009 9:06 am

    Couldn’t wait to see what you would say about the Skeeve and his “adjusting!”



  20. andrea
    November 24, 2009 9:12 am

    Saw the mayor-splits story shortly after 11 p.m. when the Marty Griffin exclusive aired, I guess — Yahoo News picked it up… Wondered where Ginny was. (With two little kids? Sleeping, I hope!)

    Lukey said his wife would have preferred a life outside the limelight — like if he’d just stayed on City Council. Then — did anyone else roll their eyes at this?: “I was very close to not running for this office. My interest is in protecting my family.”

    But he didn’t choose his family first, he ran for an office he’s still clearly not up to. Thanks, Lukey, for putting Pittsburgh first!

    Sad for them, sad for us.

    (Also, did anyone else see the PG photo of Luke & Ex and notice the sameness of Lukey and Ben? The dimpled chin and fatty neckline? It’s fate, it’s Steelerstahl.)



  21. K
    November 24, 2009 9:17 am

    I love how the media-types out here try to blame the Bungles loss on a bunch of morons burning a piece of terrycloth. I’m sorry, but what you saw on Sunday was just the post-Paul Brown Bungles that we have been used to seeing since 1992. To put it in SAT form…

    Bungles:Cincinnati::Buccos of Succitude:Pittsburgh



  22. unsatisfied
    November 24, 2009 9:58 am

    @ K — in the past 17 seasons, the bungles have had a .500 record or better 5 times. they also won one division title in 2005.

    the succos have had none of those things.

    in the world of suckitude, succos > bungles.

    respect the towel!



  23. HokieRider
    November 24, 2009 10:02 am

    Ginny this WTRT made me laugh hysterically. Love Jeff Reed digging and Benny seeing the cheesecake. Like a few others, I was spared the pain of actually watching this debacle, but the updated during the Deadskins game were bad enough. Who hired the kickoff team and how can I get a job? Looks like they could use a 110 lb white girl out there…I’d probably tackle better than most of them.



  24. Dan (Not Onarato)
    November 24, 2009 10:23 am

    The best part of the Steelers losing two in a row (and one to the Chiefs)is that we will finally find out who the true fans are and who the bandwagon jumpers (bandwagoneers?) are.



  25. facie
    November 24, 2009 11:02 am

    Ginny, you pretty much said it all. Glad (and by glad I mean kind of sorry) I missed Skippy picking his seat. Sheesh.

    I did hear Tunch proclaim just before the opening kickoff that he did not think the Steelers would let another kickoff be returned for a TD. And we all know what happened about 15 seconds later. Double sheesh.



  26. Steelman
    November 24, 2009 11:38 am

    I watched Rocky 3 (for the umpteenth time) a few days ago and I have concluded that the Steelers have lost the “Eye of the Tiger”. Maybe Apollo Creed can be hired as an assistant coach to help them get it back.



  27. abeautifulmess
    November 24, 2009 12:09 pm

    1. A big ooohh to the Jeff picking his wedgie thing… god he is a dork! Wish they would have gone for the long field goal but have no faith in that man after the two big ones he missed earlier in the season.
    2. Troy is gorgeous in anything… and he makes me not ashamed to have to use the Head ‘n Shoulders!
    3. When my 9 year old daughter saw the cheerleader on horseback riding around in KC, she said “Now that is demeaning… for the lady and the horse!”
    4. Seriously hope the rest of the team gave the special teams guys swirlies for letting another *sshole run back a TD on us! How many is that this season?!



  28. abeautifulmess
    November 24, 2009 12:10 pm

    Actually that first one should be a big ewww!



  29. Lisa G.
    November 24, 2009 2:59 pm

    LOVE the Hattie McDaniel/Gone With the Wind quote!!! Oh-and I still think Benny looks like Will Ferrell a la Ricky Bobby. After that hit, I was waiting for him to run around the sidelines in his underwear.



  30. La Reina
    November 24, 2009 7:41 pm

    The Stillers have the Special Teams of Suckitude.



  31. Christine
    November 25, 2009 7:37 am

    When the going gets tough, the tough dig in their butt. Way to go Skippy!



  32. La Reina
    November 25, 2009 12:04 pm

    Diggin’ for treasure! Skippy should be a 49er, just for the sake of historical accuracy.