For a blog about Pittsburgh, a blog about life, a blog about sports, a blog about Hot and/or Awesome Burghers, a blog about us … I tell you, it never ceases to amaze me how often I write about various menstrual flow absorption devices. Tampons, menstrual pads, hand-crocheted black and gold tampons, reusable menstrual pads, something called the K-Cup. No, wait. K-Cups hold coffee. I don’t know. Let’s just call it the Bloody Cup.
Anyway!
Absolutely related to that sentiment, are you wondering what to buy the Steelers fan in your life for Christmas?
How about a Steelers glove holding a giant menstrual pad?!
I know!
Thoughts:
1. When I say giant, I do mean GIANT. This is not your regular menstrual pad with adhesive wings. This is your just-had-a-vaginal-delivery Super Flow Super Long Pad with Absorbency Ruffles and Ridges.
2. The site says “For ages three and up.”
Yes! Buy this for your arm-fart-obsessed 7-year-old nephew to wear all, “LOOK! I HAVE MY MOM’S PAD! Oh! Where’s the red Sharpie?”
3. The site calls this “Two-tone Large Claw and Iron Glove”
So that’s supposed to be a bar of iron, is that it? Or, a glove for your golf iron? But the site says, “Have a hand in Steelers victories by sporting this large claw glove.”
So it must be a bar of iron.
Yeah, that’s a bar of iron if you asked Bobby Trendy to sketch a bar of iron, and then after he drew you a picture of a penis and you explained to him what iron is THEN this is what he’d draw for you. All that’s missing are some unicorns and lip gloss. But maybe there’s a special pocket for the lip gloss.
(h/t Daniel M.)
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Kathy Says:
And the non-menstrual pad fans can use it to absorb their tears… maybe that’s why it’s so big… it’ll last for an entire season…. *ewwww*
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Monty Says:
I love you like a sister who I’ve never met and only know of through an internet blog, but did you eat some speedballs for lunch?
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Jtown Says:
“This is not your 13-year-old sister’s menstrual pad.”
Ummmm.
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RJQ Says:
OMG
Epic WIN
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LM Says:
Impeccable timing….
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Cnik Says:
Perfect for Steely McBeam’s wife during ‘that time of month’
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Jaime Says:
Cnik, who would marry Mr. Mcbeam?
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chrys Says:
LMAO!! That thing just looks all sorts of wrong!
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Bojack Says:
Damn!!
I knew it sounded shaky when she told me they were her
Uncle’s funny Depends!!! -
Shibori Says:
If you had given me a thousand guesses as to what that was supposed to be, I still don’t think I would have gotten to iron.
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Pensgirl Says:
I didn’t know bars of iron had ruching. Wait, did Christian Siriano do that on Project Runway at some point?
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unsatisfied Says:
I wonder if those hand-crocheted reusable tampon women will show up here again, going all “how dare you” again….
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Clementine Says:
And the USW weeps.
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Amy Says:
/boggle
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bucdaddy Says:
*pssst, someone tell that woman she has a giant cockroach on her head*
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unsatisfied Says:
@ bucdaddy — that’s a dude.
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CarolineFB Says:
I can’t believe you’d…! Why on earth did you..? Who the hell…?!? Nevermind.
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Carpetbagger Says:
Hey, that’s Steely McBeam’s maxi pad!
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Matt Says:
Okay, I can see this subject will often be repeated, and I am a member of the very small club of anachronistically squeamish male readers. But I do appreciate your new feature, inserting the warning phrase “various menstrual flow absorption devices” in the first sentence. Seeing that, your readers with delicate sensibilities, can skip right on past it to related topics, like Mayor Ravenstahl, or the Pirates.
