Bloody show.

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For a blog about Pittsburgh, a blog about life, a blog about sports, a blog about Hot and/or Awesome Burghers, a blog about us … I tell you, it never ceases to amaze me how often I write about various menstrual flow absorption devices.  Tampons, menstrual pads, hand-crocheted black and gold tampons, reusable menstrual pads, something called the K-Cup.  No, wait.  K-Cups hold coffee.  I don’t know.  Let’s just call it the Bloody Cup.

Anyway!

Absolutely related to that sentiment, are you wondering what to buy the Steelers fan in your life for Christmas?

How about a Steelers glove holding a giant menstrual pad?!

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I know!

Thoughts:

1.  When I say giant, I do mean GIANT.   This is not your regular menstrual pad with adhesive wings.  This is your just-had-a-vaginal-delivery Super Flow Super Long Pad with Absorbency Ruffles and Ridges.

2.  The site says “For ages three and up.”

Yes!  Buy this for your arm-fart-obsessed 7-year-old nephew to wear all, “LOOK!  I HAVE MY MOM’S PAD! Oh! Where’s the red Sharpie?”

3.  The site calls this “Two-tone Large Claw and Iron Glove”

So that’s supposed to be a bar of iron, is that it?  Or, a glove for your golf iron?  But the site says, “Have a hand in Steelers victories by sporting this large claw glove.”

So it must be a bar of iron.

Yeah, that’s a bar of iron if you asked Bobby Trendy to sketch a bar of iron, and then after he drew you a picture of a penis and you explained to him what iron is THEN this is what he’d draw for you.  All that’s missing are some unicorns and lip gloss.  But maybe there’s a special pocket for the lip gloss.

(h/t Daniel M.)





19 Comments

  1. Kathy
    November 24, 2009 1:49 pm

    And the non-menstrual pad fans can use it to absorb their tears… maybe that’s why it’s so big… it’ll last for an entire season…. *ewwww*



  2. Monty
    November 24, 2009 1:51 pm

    I love you like a sister who I’ve never met and only know of through an internet blog, but did you eat some speedballs for lunch?



  3. Jtown
    November 24, 2009 2:18 pm

    “This is not your 13-year-old sister’s menstrual pad.”

    Ummmm.



  4. RJQ
    November 24, 2009 2:47 pm

    OMG

    Epic WIN



  5. LM
    November 24, 2009 3:05 pm

    Impeccable timing….



  6. Cnik
    November 24, 2009 3:07 pm

    Perfect for Steely McBeam’s wife during ‘that time of month’



  7. Jaime
    November 24, 2009 3:45 pm

    Cnik, who would marry Mr. Mcbeam?



  8. chrys
    November 24, 2009 4:25 pm

    LMAO!! That thing just looks all sorts of wrong! :P



  9. Bojack
    November 24, 2009 5:03 pm

    Damn!!

    I knew it sounded shaky when she told me they were her
    Uncle’s funny Depends!!!



  10. Shibori
    November 24, 2009 5:04 pm

    If you had given me a thousand guesses as to what that was supposed to be, I still don’t think I would have gotten to iron.



  11. Pensgirl
    November 24, 2009 5:54 pm

    I didn’t know bars of iron had ruching. Wait, did Christian Siriano do that on Project Runway at some point?



  12. unsatisfied
    November 24, 2009 6:08 pm

    I wonder if those hand-crocheted reusable tampon women will show up here again, going all “how dare you” again….



  13. Clementine
    November 24, 2009 6:38 pm

    And the USW weeps.



  14. bucdaddy
    November 24, 2009 10:51 pm

    *pssst, someone tell that woman she has a giant cockroach on her head*



  15. unsatisfied
    November 25, 2009 9:41 am

    @ bucdaddy — that’s a dude.



  16. CarolineFB
    November 25, 2009 7:33 pm

    I can’t believe you’d…! Why on earth did you..? Who the hell…?!? Nevermind.



  17. Carpetbagger
    November 27, 2009 9:23 am

    Hey, that’s Steely McBeam’s maxi pad!



  18. Matt
    November 28, 2009 11:31 am

    Okay, I can see this subject will often be repeated, and I am a member of the very small club of anachronistically squeamish male readers. But I do appreciate your new feature, inserting the warning phrase “various menstrual flow absorption devices” in the first sentence. Seeing that, your readers with delicate sensibilities, can skip right on past it to related topics, like Mayor Ravenstahl, or the Pirates.