For a blog about Pittsburgh, a blog about life, a blog about sports, a blog about Hot and/or Awesome Burghers, a blog about us … I tell you, it never ceases to amaze me how often I write about various menstrual flow absorption devices. Tampons, menstrual pads, hand-crocheted black and gold tampons, reusable menstrual pads, something called the K-Cup. No, wait. K-Cups hold coffee. I don’t know. Let’s just call it the Bloody Cup.
Absolutely related to that sentiment, are you wondering what to buy the Steelers fan in your life for Christmas?
How about a Steelers glove holding a giant menstrual pad?!
1. When I say giant, I do mean GIANT. This is not your regular menstrual pad with adhesive wings. This is your just-had-a-vaginal-delivery Super Flow Super Long Pad with Absorbency Ruffles and Ridges.
2. The site says “For ages three and up.”
Yes! Buy this for your arm-fart-obsessed 7-year-old nephew to wear all, “LOOK! I HAVE MY MOM’S PAD! Oh! Where’s the red Sharpie?”
3. The site calls this “Two-tone Large Claw and Iron Glove”
So that’s supposed to be a bar of iron, is that it? Or, a glove for your golf iron? But the site says, “Have a hand in Steelers victories by sporting this large claw glove.”
So it must be a bar of iron.
Yeah, that’s a bar of iron if you asked Bobby Trendy to sketch a bar of iron, and then after he drew you a picture of a penis and you explained to him what iron is THEN this is what he’d draw for you. All that’s missing are some unicorns and lip gloss. But maybe there’s a special pocket for the lip gloss.
(h/t Daniel M.)