Super Opposite Man ruins the day!

This morning I finally got around to reading my Sunday edition of the Post-Gazette and while reading the sports section, I glanced at Gerry Dulac’s NFL Forecast: Week 11.

Let’s take a look:

Steelers (6-3) at Kansas City Chiefs (2-7), 1 p.m., Sunday

The Skinny: Since the middle of the 2007 season, the Chiefs are a pitiful 4-30, a record only the Lions (3-31) can eclipse for futility. Should be a nice way for Ben Roethlisberger to spend his first game in Arrowhead Stadium.

Prediction: Steelers, 34-3

Dear Gerry, for this week’s game, please print the following:

Pittsburgh Steelers (6-4) at Baltimore Ravens (5-5), 8:20 p.m., Sunday

The Skinny: Since the Steelers are currently a giant ball of suck with a cheesecake-inhaling, recently concussed quarterback, and special teams incapable of stopping a return man even if he was a crippled turtle with the ball strapped to his shell, expect them to be decimated beyond recognition by the faster, more awesome, more fantastic Ravens.  All hope is lost.

Prediction: Ravens, 44-(2)

Then maybe, once again, the exact OPPOSITE of what you predicted will happen.

Thanks, Gerry!





14 Comments

  1. Karyn
    November 25, 2009 12:19 pm

    am i reading this right? Ravens 44 Steelers Negative 2? hahaha.



  2. Virginia
    November 25, 2009 12:21 pm

    That’s exactly right. NEGATIVE two.



  3. LuAnn
    November 25, 2009 12:39 pm

    Love the negative two!



  4. bucdaddy
    November 25, 2009 1:15 pm

    I’ve seen high school wrestling matches like that. A match can end with a team in negative numbers. It happens if the losing team doesn’t win a single bout and one of the wrestlers commits an infraction severe enough that the referee deducts a team point as punishment. So the score can end up, like, 63-(1).



  5. Pensgirl
    November 25, 2009 1:16 pm

    Hee hee! Also, it should be mentioned that as Gregg Easterbrook pointed out in this week’s “Tuesday Morning Quarterback,” the Steelers have allowed a runback for a TD – off an interception or fumble, or in special teams – in EIGHT straight games.

    Talk about pitiful.



  6. bucdaddy
    November 25, 2009 1:21 pm

    BTW, this is entirely off topic but last night Mrs. Daddy and I witnessed a spectacular accident that involved a deer in the middle of the road. If you saw what was left of the car that flipped several times as a result you wouldn’t believe anyone could have survived, but the young man who was driving and came staggering across the road at me out of the darkness cut his lip and bumped his nose and is going home from the hospital today.

    PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE all my fellow Churchites: BE CAREFUL driving to and from grandma’s house this weekend. Slow down a little bit (Mrs. Daddy had just been nagging me about it, God bless her, because I WAS going 5-10 mph under the limit or it might have been me). The effing deer are everywhere. Most of us only know you by a handle and if something happened to you we’d likely never know.

    And we’d miss you, dammit.

    Thanks.

    *dismounts soap box*



  7. BaldTruth
    November 25, 2009 1:29 pm

    bucdaddy – That’s pretty awful. Also pretty bad was an incident at my parents’ this past weekend. When we came out of the house, we spotted several deer in surrounding yards. Then to our horror, we heard what everyone thought were gunshots! Fortunately–I guess–it was dark enough that my children couldn’t see any carnage that may or may not have resulted.



  8. Kathy
    November 25, 2009 1:34 pm

    If you are going for the opposite in an effort to actually win, then you need to have something in there about Skippy and his complete inability to make a tackle, especially because of that affliction that causes his eyes to close when he nears anyone of the opposite team who is holding on to the football. Then we might REALLY have a chance!



  9. Sooska
    November 25, 2009 1:40 pm

    One of those print “experts” said he predicted the Browns – Lions game would be 3-2, since they are so inept. It ended up 38-37. How do these guys keep their jobs as “experts?”

    I predict the Ravens will have a big. fat target painted on Chewy’s head. The King of Quarterbackylonia will be reduced to a pitiful puddle of protoplasmic gray matter.



  10. unsatisfied
    November 25, 2009 6:40 pm

    if these effers knew what the score was going to be, they would not be wasting their time making such prognostications.



  11. facie
    November 26, 2009 7:35 pm

    Glad I am not the only one who is still reading her Sunday paper on Wednesday. Once I had a kid, I went with the PG weekend subscription, but with four days of papers, I am reading parts of a paper pretty much every day.

    Speaking of scores/predictions, this morning, when I went to set my fantasy lineup for one of my Yahoo leagues, instead of listing the time of the GB-Det game next to QB Rodgers, someone at Yahoo instead decided to list a score of 26-0, with GB winning. Close yahoo, but no cigar.



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  13. Clementine
    November 28, 2009 2:04 pm

    Sounds like Dennis Dixon is our guy. Yoi! The comic potential almost outweighs the travesty. Almost. And if Dixon totally sucks, Tyler Palko might get some snaps… Double yoi!!