1. One morning about a week before Halloween, my son, who had decided to be Darth Vader, got into a heated discussion with me and his father about whether Darth Vader was good or evil.
My son, who has not yet really seen much by way of the Star Wars movies, and therefore has based his entire impression of Darth Vader on toys and commercials, refused to believe my husband and I when we explained to him that Darth Vader started out good, then became very very evil, and then ended his life with a good moment.
He wouldn’t hear it, insisting that Darth Vader was just as good as Luke Skywalker and as he presented his case (“… AND HE WEARS A VERY COOL MASK!”), my husband and I glanced over our coffee mugs at each other all, “OMG. WE ARE ARGUING WITH A SEVEN-YEAR-OLD OVER THE MORAL TURPITUDE OF A FICTIONAL CHARACTER. IS THE SCHOOL BUS HERE YET?!”
After my son left for school, I returned to the kitchen to find he had left me and his father a note stuck to the refrigerator with a Florida magnet, something he must have scrawled quickly before leaving:
God bless the phonetic spelling lessons given in first grade, because Dork Fader is the best thing ever.
2. An email I received from The Mario Lemieux Foundation at about 2:00 p.m. informed me that the Make Room for Kids has secured over $1,600 in donations already. We’re on our way! My butler Mike is working with their people to get a tracking mechanism set up. More soon.
3. Another awesome way to give back this year is to the Kiss Morning Freak Show’s Stuff a Bus campaign. I’m predicting that between awesome Burghers, Super Grover (REALLY! Super Grover stopped by today!), and Burgh Baby’s Christmas Crazy fund, they’ll fill 20 buses this year.
4. The Pirates signed … uh, whatever, who gives a crap? They signed some players who will inevitably make a fantastic contribution to the suck.
5. Speaking of the Pirates, know who DOES give a crap, Bob Smizik:
According to Stark, teams like the Pirates receive about $80 million in revenue before they sell a ticket.
That’s a figure that had not previously been reported and it’s one that has to make any Pirates fan wonder where all the money is going because it’s certainly not going toward payroll.
Bob asks the Nutting family to show their books, which is like asking a nun to show her boobs. Never going to happen.
6. SO many of you have sent me this link, and of course, I’m just now getting around to posting it. Kelly Frey’s interview and follow-up in which we get to meet Baby Bennett. Watch it here and uh, have tissues or something handy.
Or just be Brett Favre and shoot your snots across the room. That’s hot.
7. Lots of you have also sent me this link in which the show House makes a Mike Tomlin reference:
Now, if you’ll excuse me, typing Mike Tomlin’s name reminds me that I have a What They’re Really Thinking post to write and that I need to find lots of words that can properly express my frustration, otherwise, the post will just be one giant picture of Bruce Arians with a caption reading, “SON OF A BITCH!”
Because THAT game? Enough to make me go Dork Fader on someone’s ass.
[impressive lightsaber moves]