Random n’at.

monkey4

1.  It’s awfully sunny here in Pittsburgh today, especially for a day in which THERE IS A GIANT CLOUD OF BLACK AND GOLD DOOM hanging over the city.

Eff.

What They’re Really Thinking will be posted later today, once I’m done grieving.  I heard that even the zoo animals are depressed, with the monkeys openly weeping and the rhinos refusing to have angry sex for the visitors’ entertainment.

2.  No posting yesterday because my computer became infected with a malicious virus.  After wrestling around in the mud with the virus for hours and hours and swearing so many swear words I had to invent my own new swear words (Methuselah!), I tweeted my problems on twitter and in the midst of seven hundreds responses to, “Get a Mac,” my butler Mike read my tweet and had the virus destroyed within ten minutes.

He is Batman.

THEN he told me to get a Mac.

3.  Today is the last day to take part in gifting the sick kids at Children’s Hospital with a kickass gaming room and lots of handheld gaming systems and lots of sweet video games (rated E!) and I have to tell you guys, that in addition to the generosity of IKEA-Pittsburgh and in addition to YOUR generosity and in addition to Mike’s generosity, so many of you have emailed me to basically say, “WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?!”  Everyone from installers wanting to install, to gamers wanting to donate games, to teachers wanting their classrooms to help out, to people who pretty much hate my guts, writing to me to say, “So, yeah. Can I help you with this in any way?”

This generosity of spirit is in no way inferior to the generosity of dollars.

I’m also going to be holding a quick auction next week because a local business has given me two gift certificates to offer to you.  So watch for that.

I can’t express to you guys how amazing Pittsburghers are.  And I do not care if you live in Rancho Cucamonga, California, or Houston, Texas, or Tampa, Florida or yes, even Cleveland, Ohio.  You ARE a Pittsburgher, always.

If you’ve emailed me offering to help, just be patient with me as I work details out and I’ll let you know how else you can help.

4.  ESPN Magazine ranked the 100 most memorable sporting moments of 2009 and Harrison’s 100-yard touchdown return in the Super Bowl was ranked number 2 while the Penguins winning the Stanley Cup was ranked number 11.

Am I crazy for thinking those should be reversed?

5.  Glee is the best show on television until Chuck comes back and then Glee and Chuck should get married because they are both equally awesome and they will spawn an amazing show about a singing group of ninja spies who incorporate kung fu into the musical numbers they perform while saving the country from terrorists.

If none of that made any sense to you, you are missing out on two shows that will bring you joy.

6.  If like me, your name is Virginia (Hiya, Aunt Ginny!), you can go to Macy’s today and get TEN DOLLARS JUST FOR HAVING THIS RIDICULOUSLY OLD-FASHIONED NAME!

Win!

(h/t to all of you that emailed it to me!)

7.  You can pretty much bring the total number of dollars I have received in free stuff from PG+ (pronounced “[mouthing words]” in a perfect vacuum) to close to $400 now that I have won four tickets to see A Musical Christmas Carol tomorrow night at the Byham.  I’ll be there with my son, my sister, and her son, but first we’re having dinner at Las Velas.  It’s going to be a great night in the city!

I would just like to FURTHER extol you to never ever get a subscription to PG+ so that I can keep winning stuff.

Next I’m up for some tickets to the early screening of Sherlock Holmes and if I win those, I’ll give them away because I don’t go see movies in theaters.  YAY!  Something good for you comes out of my practically useless ears!

8.  Did you guys read about the City Council meeting yesterday in which Patrick Dowd and Doug Shields basically lost complete control? It is a must read.  Like a fun screenplay where you get to play out in your head what went down.

The P-G article makes it look like Doug Shields was the instigator while Patrick Dowd was trying to rein in the madness.  I don’t know.

What I do know is that my old nickname for Doug Shields, you know, PeeWee, is no more because yesterday in Council chambers, on the record, Doug Shields knighted himself with a brand new one:

“Cranky old Council President Shields is at his crankiest today,” Mr. Shields said much later

Cranky Old Council President Shields it is!





41 Comments

  1. bucdaddy
    December 11, 2009 10:43 am

    Dear Steelers fans:

    Welcome to my sub-.500 world, losers.

    Pirates fan



  2. Monty
    December 11, 2009 11:11 am

    Nice “monkey getting a proctological exam” photo. Or is that a super closeup of what is in Casey Hampton’s belly button?

    Call me nuts, but if we’re not winning the SB this year, I’d rather find out now than have to go through losing another wildcard game to someone like Jacksonville again. Now the Pens can get the full attention they deserve.



  3. DW
    December 11, 2009 11:16 am

    Saw it last year (it was awesome) and going again tonight to A Musical Christmas Carol at the Byham. It’s our little family tradition. My daughter loved it, I’m sure your children will, too!

    Also cool that local guy playing Scrooge was in Escape from New York…I keep waiting for Snake Pliskin to jump out and pop someone.



  4. Jessica @ How Sweet
    December 11, 2009 11:18 am

    Ugh what was that last night? Instead of sending that virus to Ike Taylor, can you send it to the entire Browns team?



  5. Leslie
    December 11, 2009 11:19 am

    Srsly. Get a Mac.



  6. Erin
    December 11, 2009 11:20 am

    Look how straight that monkey’s teeth are!



  7. Carpetbagger
    December 11, 2009 11:26 am

    Once we get past all the binge drinking and flinging ourselves off of high buidlings, we’ll see the bright side: now we’ll have time to get out and see all Pittsburgh has to offer on Sundays in January!



  8. Russell Dunkin
    December 11, 2009 11:31 am

    #4 – as much as I love the Pens, I realize Hockey being near the top 10 is a win!



  9. ErinPatricia
    December 11, 2009 11:32 am

    Thanks for leaving the donation button up till today.
    With the orgy or spending that was Stuff a Bus and buying gifts for my nieces and family I was broke till today.



  10. Uncle Crappy
    December 11, 2009 11:35 am

    What’s everyone so bummed out about? I don’t get it.

    Heh.



  11. bluzdude
    December 11, 2009 11:36 am

    I guess it’s now time to focus full time on the Pens.

    Methuselah!



  12. REARless
    December 11, 2009 11:36 am

    Forget the Mac – spend exorbitant amount of money one would cost on your kids. Go LINUX. It’s free and it runs on the PC you already have.



  13. Monty
    December 11, 2009 11:40 am

    ErinPatricia — Funny how one letter can totally change the meaning of a sentence. Unless that was intentional, in which case things have changed since I left the burgh.



  14. HollyT
    December 11, 2009 11:47 am

    Bucdaddy,
    Love your comment. Fellow Pirate fan here.
    Ginny,
    I’m with everyone else on getting a Mac too. Its a headache free world for the most part. Headaches usually caused by internet connection….



  15. PSUmama
    December 11, 2009 11:52 am

    #4 – Yes.

    #5 – and then Burn Notice comes back and KABLOOEE. That is all.



  16. Sooska
    December 11, 2009 11:53 am

    1. Like The Pensblog’s banner says “Penguins Official Bandwagon, Steeler Fans Welcome”

    2. Get a Mac.

    4. ESPN shouldn’t be relied upon for hockey info. Their guy is the one who said Sid was hurting the team.



  17. Pensgirl
    December 11, 2009 11:55 am

    1. Thankfully I had the Pens game and cleaning my house for company goin’ on last night, so I didn’t even hear about what *cough* happened until this morning.

    2. I hate to sound like one of those preachy Mac people, but I once swore I’d never own one, and so of course that bit me in the ass. About 4 years ago I’d had it and made the switch, and I have had a sum total of zero issues with it. I could use a little more RAM, but couldn’t we all?

    3. ABSOLUTELY, time is not less valuable than money. Those people rock.

    4. Harrison’s rank I get, because who ever thought a DB could do that? But I’m not sure how there are 10 total moments more memorable than Fleury flinging himself at Lidstrom’s shot to save the Cup win for the Pens.



  18. Danielle
    December 11, 2009 11:59 am

    When Mr. Dowd zeroed in on language in the bill and compared it in difficulty to anthropological tracts he has read in German, Mr. Shields questioned his literacy. “It’s quite easy to read,” said Mr. Shields. “I suppose you know how to.”

    Ooo SNAP! *squabble squabble*



  19. Bob M
    December 11, 2009 12:03 pm

    When did they secretly replace the Steelers with the Pirates?
    When your punter makes the cleanest tackle of the game, you know the suckfest is on.
    Go Pens!



  20. Great Scot
    December 11, 2009 12:15 pm

    I am posting to you from a Mac. So many computer hours on, almost no repair or down time with it! Go for it!



  21. Magnus Patris
    December 11, 2009 12:30 pm

    G inny,
    E ven though you are having a tough
    T ime with your PC, hang in there.

    A s anyone knows,

    M icrosoft constantly produces
    A world class OS that’s perfect for
    C reative people like you.



  22. Vivian formerly NYLuvsPitts
    December 11, 2009 12:34 pm

    .467…I must say Pirate Fans, this does not feel good. How do y’all do it year after year after year. I have friends calling from NY to California giving me condolences. I could not believe how bad it was until my friend from Glendale called me (with his somber tone in his voice) to see how I was doing. This is bad, real bad.



  23. Lauren
    December 11, 2009 12:43 pm

    It’s funny…when the page first came up, the only thing I saw was the ape’s face…and I totally thought the post was going to be about Skippy Skeeve because oddly, the ape looks a little bit like Jeffy.



  24. La Reina
    December 11, 2009 12:59 pm

    Maybe with our ultimate 6-10 record, the Stillers will be able draft a freakin’ cornerback who actually knows how to cover receivers instead of giving them a respectful 10-yard cushion at all times.



  25. La Reina
    December 11, 2009 1:00 pm

    >>>>>When Mr. Dowd zeroed in on language in the bill and compared it in difficulty to anthropological tracts he has read in German, Mr. Shields questioned his literacy. “It’s quite easy to read,” said Mr. Shields. “I suppose you know how to.”

    That is SUCH a “oh no he didn’t – SNAP!” moment! You go, girls.



  26. Sooska
    December 11, 2009 1:18 pm

    BTW Ginny and La Reina good stuff!! but apparently City Council squabbling didn’t even come close to the same level as the sniping that went on in the Steelers’ post-game locker room last night.



  27. Sue
    December 11, 2009 1:23 pm

    I didn’t think anyone but me watched Chuck. I love that show. I also loved Life, but I think it got cancelled.



  28. butcher's dog
    December 11, 2009 1:50 pm

    The WTRT post should be called the Let’s Go Pens edition.

    Seven draft choices in ’10? Better be 7 defensive backs.

    OK, anyone who attended a Pens playoff game last spring knows how inspiring the video board messages from Mike Tomlin and Hines Ward were. Not this year, please! It could be contagious.

    We’ll know the apocolypse is really here if the Bucs end ’10 with a better winning percentage than the Steelers do. Just sayin’; it’s possible.



  29. Pa-pop
    December 11, 2009 2:13 pm

    Maybe it’s a ten year thing. In 1999, the Stillers started 5-3 but then yakked up a six-game losing streak and lost seven of their final eight. Amidst this turmoil, I recall it was all over Akron, if not Pittsburgh and Cleveland, that Cowher’s marriage was reportedly on the rocks. The best and most laughable rumor of all had him bunking in with Kordell Stewart. The clincher to this similarly miserable season ten years later will be when I hear Mike has moved in with Benny – and that their own version of “Ebony and Ivory” is heard echoing through the hillsides.



  30. red pen mama
    December 11, 2009 2:38 pm

    Easy, @unclecrappy. Yer still in enemy territory.

    2. I’m am firmly seated on the Mac bandwagon. Come on up!

    4. Harrison’s run was pretty jaw-dropping. I didn’t think he was going to make it, and I don’t just mean into the end zone. That said, Fleury’s save was… beyond amazing. To steal an idea from the movie Bolt, it was Be-mazing!

    5. Speaking of bandwagons, I gotta get on this Glee one.

    6. I named my daughter Flora.

    Let’s go Pens!

    ciao,
    rpm



  31. Jmat
    December 11, 2009 2:38 pm

    Eff Mac’s

    How bout them Stillers!



  32. Emilie
    December 11, 2009 2:49 pm

    Squeee – you love Glee – see, I knew I loved you as a reason. Red Pen Mama – yes, get on the Glee bandwagon, you won’t regret it – in fact the 1st half of the season goes on sale next week I think on DVD.

    I am not even going to address the suck that is the Steelers. I agree with the person who asked when we replaced them with the Pirates cuz um….yeah, we are THAT bad right about now. Srsly – we should have just played the entire second string – they probably couldn’t have done any worse….



  33. PittInDC
    December 11, 2009 2:53 pm

    I have friends that have Macs. They have just as many problems as I do, if not more. In fact, I have one friend who downloaded that Leopard thing, and it basically imploded his Mac before finals, and he has to spend all sorts of money to get it fixed. So really, I think they are just all crap, so might as well get cheaper crap :)



  34. Three
    December 11, 2009 3:03 pm

    I’m going to be the contrarian here … I loathe Macs. I’ve used them for over 15 years at work, and would take my PC over any of them any day of the week. Macs DO get viruses, and as they increase in popularity, you can expect more in future (the negative here being very little anti-virus software since Apple doesn’t like to share anything).

    So, feel free to keep your PC … but I will tell you to stop downloading all that pigeon porn. Just sayin’.



  35. Leslie
    December 11, 2009 3:37 pm

    Counting the minutes till WTRT…

    @Magnus Patris, that’s hilarious!



  36. Bojack
    December 11, 2009 3:55 pm

    >>>PittinDC-

    What are you?? A rep for Dell?? Microsoft???
    That’s just plain bullshit!

    I have had Macs for 20 years and ZERO problems!!!!!!!!!!

    Get a Mac!!

    Get a concealed-carry permit!!



  37. AModelCitizen
    December 11, 2009 3:56 pm

    It’s sad when the biggest football game in Dec for Pittsburgh is….the Panthers in the Meineke Car Care bowl.
    Thank god for hockey season! (and college basketball, go XU!)



  38. spoon
    December 11, 2009 4:15 pm

    Most problems with a PC aren’t machine related but what the dumbass users do to it. MAC users in general are a bit more tech savvy and they have to be because outside their world no one gives a shit about them.

    Kinda like people who drive Hondas.



  39. Margie
    December 11, 2009 6:04 pm

    Pa-pop I can’t get that freakin’ song out of my head.

    And Ginny, I can sympathize on the old fashioned name. Mine is Marjorie and I am often mistaken for an old school marm with 50 cats and no husband.



  40. amanda
    December 11, 2009 6:20 pm

    add Better Off Ted to that TV coupling and it would be one awesome manage-a-trois.



  41. Mayor Luke Doggy Dogg
    December 12, 2009 12:42 am

    The Steelers losing is some bullshit, yo…

    What’s tha lukeylicious gonna be doing during the Super Bowl this year? Ain’t gonna be no hangin’ wit my main Dogg: Snoop D-O Double G.

    http://cache.interscope.com/images/local/500/d5e49a41-0ba6-4066-923d-de1a4efe10bb.jpg

    [IMG]http://cache.interscope.com/images/local/500/d5e49a41-0ba6-4066-923d-de1a4efe10bb.jpg[/IMG]

    Since the universities pissed me off today, I guess Snoop and Lukeylicious will continue working on our new single due out in January: “Taxin’ Dat Ass”