84 Lumber bamillionaire Joe Hardy, AGED 85 86!!!!, has finally finished mourning his divorce from that 26-year-old he married in 1997 and his divorce from the 23-year-old he married in 2007, and his breakup with the 22-year-old he rebounded with thereafter, because over the weekend, he married AGAIN.
All 84 Lumber will say about his latest wife, Rebecca Davis of Florida, is that she is “middle-aged.”
This is Joe Hardy, AGED 85 86!!!!, we’re talking about, a man who has for the past decade or so not so much as made eye-contact with a woman unless she is at least 60 years his junior, so I’m guessing “middle-aged” means “39-year-old former beauty queen currently sporting large fake breasts.”
If however, it comes out that by “middle-aged” they mean “35-years-old,” then THIS 35-year-old spring chicken will choke a bitch.
Either way, Joe Hardy needs his own reality show because I will watch that train-wreck religiously. Bonus points if Hugh Hefner pops in on occasion for Viagra parties with Joe while their women take turns practicing using a defibrillator.