I’d like to think that the Steelers are practicing, studying, eating, sleeping, drinking, and pooping football (ew.), but that would be erroneous of me, because they’ve also been busy filming Christmas videos for the enjoyment of Steeler Nation.
The first video you need to watch is of Dick Lebeau in which he begins by sitting in a giant Steelers-themed Santa chair holding a copy of The Night Before Christmas.
Doesn’t that sentence look like I just took a bunch of words from my grab bag and threw them behind a period? Dick Lebeau. Santa. Chair. Book. Period.
First, I love how he says, “Merry Christmas” and then you can clearly see his brain fart, which stuns him silent for a few moments before he continues with, “I’m Coach Lebeau.”
Then, he goes blah blah blah for about three minutes. I don’t know. I was all bloop bloop bloop I HAVE THINGS TO DO, DICK! THESE CHRISTMAS COOKIES WON’T BURN THEMSELVES AND I’VE GOT SALAD AND ROLLS TO BUY AT THE STORE!
But then he gets into the actual recitation of the poem and WHAT? Dick Lebeau does it with feeeeeeling.
And from memory.
And my love for embattled coach Lebeau grew with each passing moment.
The man pours his big heart into the poem, goes Shakespeare with the dramatic gestures, and practically hacks a lung up when he imitates a belly- jiggling ho-ho-ho.
I will never look at Coach Lebeau the same again. I think he might be Santa. What’s your favorite color?!
The other video you should watch is of various Steelers singing Christmas carols in the style of third-grade Christmas pageant.
But Hines Ward eschewed the third-grade style and sang in the style of drunk guy at the office Christmas party who spends a great deal of time rubbing his own nipples.
Then of course Mr. Nom Nom gets paired with Mr. Skeeve and I’m all, CRISS-CROSS!
But then, A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!
Thank you, random person who didn’t want the fug tainting the perfection.
Max Starks appeared, too. Here he is thinking about what he’s going to do to my father for those mean things Dad said about him.
Watch out, Daddy. That giant man will totally sit on your head and kill you with one butt cheek.
Which gives a whole new meaning to the term brain fart.
(h/t AG and Traci)