If you’re wondering what needs to happen for the Steelers to make the playoffs, according to the NFL, any ONE of the following:
1) Steelers win and Houston loses or ties, and New York Jets lose or tie.
2) Steelers win and Houston loses or ties and Baltimore loses or ties.
3) Steelers win and New York Jets lose or tie and Baltimore loses or ties and Denver loses or ties.
Surprisingly no mention of sacrifices to angry football gods or even mass outbreaks of the swine flu. So, voodoo people, please begin directing your hexes and evil eyes and strange brews toward New York, Houston, Baltimore, Miami and Denver.
However, keep this in mind, the Bengals and the Patriots have already clinched, so they very well may throw their games in an effort to keep the Steelers from the playoffs.
So, if you’re a Steelers fan, you need to root for your team to beat the Dolphins. And you need to root for Bill Belichick and Marvin Lewis to go for a win.
In other words, we’re screwed by the cowardice of The Devil and Marvin Lewis.
I predict our season ends on Sunday when the Patriots and the Bengals lose on purpose, just like the Colts did yesterday in a glaring display of scaredy-cat-ness, or when the Patriots win and the Bengals, who play later in the day, realize nothing can come from a win, so they’ll throw their game.
Either way, Steelers playoff chances are resting in the hands of too many enemies for us to be very hopeful, and that is their own stupid fault for their level of play this season and I don’t think any amount of voodoo can fix that.
But whatever, stab ’em if you’ve got ’em.