- December 30, 2009
- filed under Ben Roethlisberger, Mike Tomlin, Steelers, The Damn Pigeons, Troy Polamalu
I’m aware that not all of you are diehard Steelers fans (May God have mercy on your souls), but I’ve got to get some Steelers news out of the way here. But you can rest assured that my next post has nothing to do with the Steelers. Because it is about cats.
Hand to God.
1. Troysus got an acting agent because he must want to be the next Terry Bradshaw. I’m thinking, with his hair, he could totally play Slash in the Lifetime Original Movie, Blind No More — Brushing the Hair Out of My Eyes: The Slash Story.
Here’s a fun fact, with my hair, I could ALSO play that role.
I need an agent. And a penis. And a guitar. And hookers and blow.
2. My dad is totally going to call me about the hookers and blow line.
3. Cabbage Patch Baby Cici Donna and James Harrison have made the Pro Bowl. And that’s it.
I call shenanigans on this because Benny has done more than enough this year to earn a Pro Bowl spot.
It’s not often you find me coming to Benny’s defense, and this must be twice in as many weeks that I’ve done it, and look at that there snowman the pigeons built in hell.
Benny needs to do or say something real douchey soon so I can get my Duke of Fug/Earl of Gross mojo back.
4. Lamarr Woodley is obviously trying to get Cincinnati mad enough to actually play the game Sunday:
“All of them will lay down,” said Woodley, who leads the Steelers with 11.5 sacks, third in the AFC. “No one wants to see Pittsburgh in there. That’s just how it is. Everybody knows we’re a dangers (sic) team once we get into the playoffs no matter how we played throughout the whole year.”
Well, whine about it all you want Lamarr, but our playoff hopes should never have gotten this dim to begin with.
“I could care less how the Bengals approach what it is they do,” he said. “We created this situation. What we are going to do is control what we can control, and that’s our preparation of play for the game.”
5. Hines is hurt.
Receiver Hines Ward now has injuries to both hamstrings. Tomlin: “Hines is miserable … . He’s got two hamstrings and a myriad of other issues. It gives him a bad disposition, but he’ll show.”
Since I have only ever known Hines Ward to have two “dispositions,” that being THE HAPPIEST, SMILIEST, SUNSHINEY MAN ON THE PLANET or weeping, I’m going to assume “bad disposition” means weeping.
6. This might be Willie Parker’s last game as a Steeler.
Hey, maybe Troysus could play Willie in his Lifetime Original Movie, More Than an Ouchie — Turf Toe Ruined My Career: The Willie Parker Story.