Apocalypse.
- January 4, 2010
- filed under The Damn Pigeons
This weekend I was cleaning out my husband’s watch case, which I purchased for him because he has SIX MILLION WATCHES and apparently six million watches is THREE MILLION WATCHES too few.
He buys watches like I buy black shoes.
I own a lot of black shoes.
Anyway, look what I found in his watch case! A picture of me in college holding A DEMON!
Yes, too much makeup and look at my nails and there may be a dead dog in my giant hair, who can tell?
The back of the picture tells me that this is the outside cat “Baby” that my dorm-mates and I adopted in Texas one year.
I remember Baby. Baby was before I realized cats think I have dead birds in my boobage.
But there, cat people, who have been writing me nasty emails. I once liked cats.
Also, it’s not like I kicked a real cat, unlike how I kick pigeons, and it’s not like I’m stabbing cats, unlike how I stab pigeons, and it’s not like I’m setting cats on fire, unlike — you know what? I’ll just stop there before the pigeon lovers start taking me too seriously again.
Besides, I lost my butane torch.
parkingchair
January 4, 2010 2:25 pm
Why do I have sudden urge to dig up and listen to some Taylor Dayne cassingles?
Joe K.
January 4, 2010 2:34 pm
And you were making fun of Jane Orie’s nails . . .
Politicalpartypooper
January 4, 2010 2:38 pm
Jeepers, Ginny,
You must need a rototiller to comb through that hair. How thick is it? Can you knock your husband out with it when it’s wet?
Al
January 4, 2010 3:12 pm
I didn’t think Glamour Shots used live animals as props.
Michael Armbrust
January 4, 2010 5:00 pm
Personally I think it looks like your squeezing the life out of the kitty..but that’s me..
butcher's dog
January 4, 2010 5:16 pm
Look up “hawt” in any dictionary and this picture is beside the definition.
Still A, Fan
January 4, 2010 5:54 pm
see…i wanted and got a new watch for Christmas and I bought my last one last February. I was also asked “dont you have enough watches?” I only have a handfull of nice ones. I would love to have 6 million. I can go to ashfords online and browse for hours. It’s a sickness.
Clementine
January 4, 2010 8:07 pm
Uh, why do you look the same age now as in your college picture? Not fair. I look (and feel) about a hundred years older than any college picture of me.
bucdaddy
January 4, 2010 8:21 pm
You’re adorable. Smokin’ adorable.
And what’s the line legendarily attributed to Johnny Carson?
“Put the damn cat down and I will.”
Darla
January 4, 2010 8:41 pm
I think you look pretty
Magnus Patris
January 4, 2010 9:06 pm
@bucdaddy I had the exact same thought, but you beat me to it. Hiiii-ooooooooooooooooooo!
chrys
January 5, 2010 12:27 am
I think you look adorable. :)
The watch thing.. I know it well. LOL! I love watches.. I have about 30 of them, and guess what? Only one has a working battery. LOL!
gunnlino
January 5, 2010 1:28 pm
Here’s the deal…..your husband has a cherished place he keeps his cherished things . One of which, of course , is a cherished photo taken a long time ago and far away. So every time he opens the watch case there is his most cherished sweetheart. ‘Nuff said.
pghgeorge
January 5, 2010 6:04 pm
I think that pretty romantic, and its a cute picture.
I have my wife’s 5th grade school picture, and her college picture in my wallet. My father-in law gave them to me before he passed away. He carried them around in his wallet. Now I ask people if they want to see a picture of my wife, and I pull out her 5th grade picture.
beaner
January 5, 2010 8:45 pm
Ginny–very very cute.
(Buc Daddy–I don’t get it…seriously…)
bucdaddy
January 5, 2010 9:23 pm
Beaner, you reveal yourself to be a young-un, so here goes:
Supposedly Carson once had a comely actress on his show who arrived at the interview couch with a cat. She supposedly asked Carson, “Would you like to pet my pussy?” To which Carson supposedly rendered the above quote.
I believe this has all been officially dismissed as a fabrication, but it’s too good a line to just go away.
beaner
January 10, 2010 6:43 pm
Thanks Buc!
Not a young un….more like old & pre Alzheimers I think.
I do remember that story now….very funny.