Ponx-soo-TWAY-nee

One of the most fun things about being married to a man whose first language is not English is when the laws of Spanish pronunciation bitchslap the laws of English pronunciation.

Particularly early on in our marriage when his English, a language he completely self-taught, wasn’t as smooth as it now is, I got great giggles out of asking him to pronounce the word focus.

Me: Am I bugging you?

Him: No, but I need to fock-yous on this stuff.

Me: [snicker]

or

Me: Honey, what do you call that car?

Him: It’s a Ford Fock-yous.

Me: [snicker]

He makes his v’s sound like b’s and vice versa, so voting becomes boating and volleyball becomes bollyball, which is what they play in India, I guess.  Pennsylvania was pencil-bay-nee-ah.

Perhaps one of my most favorite stories is the time this conversation happened in Cancun, before we were married, while watching a Steelers playoff game:

Me: He missed it! (Of course, I’m referring to Kris Brown missing a field goal)

Him: Un-vee-lee-ba-vle.

Me: That was like three inches from being a field goal.

Him: No, I think a few feet.

Me: A few feet?!  No way.  It was like this at most. [hold up two hands to show about six or seven inches.]

Him: Wait.  How many feet are in a foot?

Me: [ROTFLMAO]

And knowing that I don’t hear very well and adding to that the fact that he had a very thick accent, during our long-distance Mexico to America relationship, there were lots of phone calls that went like this:

Him: Blah bitty blah blah blah

Me: What?

Him: I said, “Blah bitty blah blah blah.”

Me: You ran over a goat?!

Him: NO! I said, “Blah bitty blah blah blah.”

Me: WHAT?!?

Him: Que?!

My father, listening to my side of the conversation: [headdesk]

His accent, I don’t even notice it anymore, but my family tells me he still has it.  After ten years of marriage, I’ve learned when it’s okay to correct his English and when I should just go in the other room and laugh it out.

All that said, you understand why I had to record this video this morning while he and I were watching the Mexican news and the weather girl tried to pronounce Punxsutawney.

YouTube Preview Image

That is un-vee-lee-ba-vly hilarious.

And if you don’t think so, FOCK-YOUS!





29 Comments

  1. Uncle Crappy
    February 3, 2010 4:28 pm

    And the giant animated groundhog in the background is just as good.



  2. Mikey
    February 3, 2010 4:33 pm

    The mexican morning news team obviously captured the robot groundhog that PETA wanted so bad



  3. sheepthemoon
    February 3, 2010 4:38 pm

    Oh yes, the joys of Spanish and cross-cultural dating. My father has been dating a Cuban woman for about 10 years now. Bear in mind, he’s been married and divorced 3 times, but this relationship works for him. My family and I have concluded it’s because he doesn’t speak Spanish and she doesn’t speak English, so one doesn’t know what the other is saying until they speak their own “common” language. I swear, I understand her Spanish much better than I understand her Spanglish.

    Of course, being around them for more than a hour usually results in my wanting to scream.

    Her: “You fadder, he crazee.”
    Him: “No, you crazy.”
    Her: “No, joo crazee.”
    Him: “No, you crazy.”
    Her: “No, joo crazee.”

    [5 minutes later, same exchange]

    Me: /headesk OK, we’ve established that you’re both crazy. Can we move on?



  4. Magnus Patris
    February 3, 2010 5:05 pm

    My friend Fred from the Dominican Republic always told me about the beautiful bitches in Santo Domingo. It took a while before I realized he was talking about the beaches. After 62 years, my dad still has an eastern European accent. A friend of mine once spent 3 hours alone with him. When I asked what they talked about, she said, “I have no idea, but you’re dad is very sweet.”



  5. Bram R
    February 3, 2010 5:12 pm

    Sounds like Stairway to Heaven backwards!



  6. Schuyler
    February 3, 2010 6:29 pm

    Too funny! I must share, on “The View” yesterday, someone asked where Punxsutawney was, and Whoopi said, “Philadelphia.” WHAT??? Seriously … if you don’t know, at least say, “Somewhere in Pennsylvania.” But Philly? Come on!



  7. bluzdude
    February 3, 2010 6:33 pm

    You two sound like a match made in heaven.



  8. Bojack
    February 3, 2010 6:52 pm

    Whenever a Latino slows down when to pronounce
    a difficult English word it ALWAYS sounds like
    Tony Montana (Al Pacino-Scarface) to me!!!!!

    Even this chick did!!!

    “Say, ello, to my leetle, fren!!!!” :-)



  9. L.Mo.
    February 3, 2010 7:33 pm

    My mother is Costa Rican and has lived in the United States for almost 35 years now. To this day, she still has an issue between “sheet” and “shit.”



  10. TwinMamaTeb
    February 3, 2010 8:34 pm

    Awww, see, I thought his accent was adorable!



  11. Summer's Kiss
    February 3, 2010 10:01 pm

    My Dad is married to a woman from Peru. He spoke NO Spanish when he met her, and her English is not great. I speak Spanish, so occasionally I’ll jump in and translate for someone. Anywho, Dad’s name is ‘Joseph’, and she pronounces it Yo-seph-fee. Also, ‘fruit’ is froo-it. It makes me giggle. But, my Spanish probably makes her cringe, so it’s all good.



  12. bucdaddy
    February 4, 2010 12:42 am

    Does he pronounce “Jesus” correctly?



  13. Karyn
    February 4, 2010 7:44 am

    Bucdaddy-
    This reminds me of the time i was working for a place that did phone surveys. It was from 4 pm to 9pm our time, and the calls went to california. I had to ask questions about Kaiser Permanente, a health insurance company and thier service. I had to ask for a man named Jesus. Of course, i was 16, and i had only taken French in highschool. Wanna guess how i pronounced his name? And then guess how hard he hung up the phone?



  14. BIGGEORGE
    February 4, 2010 7:45 am

    I knew a software sales guy who was Scottish.
    He had a hard time with the english language.

    He moved to Brazil to sell the software and married a Brazillian women.

    He speaks spanish with a Brazillian accent and
    she speaks english with a Scottish accent!



  15. butcher's dog
    February 4, 2010 9:01 am

    And people used to think Henry Kissinger was putting on an act.



  16. Political Party Pooper
    February 4, 2010 9:30 am

    Ginny,

    Did you notice the Green Bay Packer “G” behind the anchor man’s desk?



  17. Virginia
    February 4, 2010 9:32 am

    PPP,

    Actually, you’ll notice the G never leaves the screen. That’s the Galavision logo. ;)



  18. spoon
    February 4, 2010 9:49 am

    @bucdaddy. Hey-zeus, i like him very much. but he no help me hit curveball



  19. bucdaddy
    February 4, 2010 10:27 am

    Spoon,

    Hah!



  20. Sara
    February 4, 2010 11:38 am

    Brazilians don’t speak Spanish, they speak Portuguese.



  21. unsatisfied
    February 4, 2010 11:58 am

    you tryin’ to say that Jesus Christ can’t hit a curve ball?



  22. Summer's Kiss
    February 4, 2010 1:38 pm

    I don’t get Galavision, Univision, or Telemundo here. That makes me a sad panda. :(



  23. redram1
    February 4, 2010 6:34 pm

    I work with some Bosnian women who, even after 15 years, still sound like they just got off the boat. Yes, it’s stll fun to get them to say things. My favorite was when I got them to say” Where is moose and squirrel”. I almost pee’d my pants as they sounded like Soviet spies!



  24. Dan (Not Onarato)
    February 4, 2010 9:39 pm

    LMAO @ 24 I had to say it like a russian until I got it….freakin hilarious!



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