1. Some ways I’ve recently discovered that I must be a great mom:
- My toddler daughter runs screaming from the room when Yo Gabba Gabba comes on.
- She has taken a sudden interest in my collection of Calvin and Hobbes books.
- She knows almost all the words to “My Life Would Suck Without You” and “Don’t Rain on My Parade.”
- She has lately taken to diving onto the floor, then popping up into the air while shouting, “BAZINGA!”
Of course, she also rules the house with an iron fist clenching a naked Barbie and has been known to make her older brother cry by smacking him with a fly swatter. So, I break even?
2. The Pittsburgh Comet has burned out as Bram walks away from his politics blog. Here’s hoping he comes back soon.
3. Jim Lokay is taking over the Does it Really Do That?! consumer reporting on KDKA, a role formerly filled by the late, great Yvonne Zanos. I think Jim will do a fantastic job, particularly because he realizes something very important.
“You want to focus on the subjects and I’m gonna kind of lay low and let the products and the people speak for themselves,” Mr. Lokay said. “Interaction is what made it work with Yvonne and hopefully we can keep that going in some respects.”
Tonight, he’s testing the Twin Draft Guard. I have one in my kitchen, and from my experience, IT TOTALLY DOES THAT!
4. Here’s a question … how does Rob Owen decide when to shorten “going to” to “gonna” when quoting someone? Does he listen for a specific lack of a break between the two words? And will he soon decide if someone said “Did you” or “Didja?” I can’t wait until the word “prolly” shows up in the newspaper.
5. Heinz unveiled a new ketchup packet today that’s bigger and allows you to dip, rather than squeeze.
Having children, you quickly realize how ridiculously stupid a ketchup packet is. Ever had young children eating french fries in the back seat of your car during a road trip? Have you ever, like me, resorted to squeezing a line of ketchup onto an individual french fry and then carefully passing that french fry to your child in the back seat over and over again like a slave feeding a master? Or like Daniel Sepulveda feeding me grapes while David Conrad fans me with a giant palm branch and Matt Lamanna reads to me from the Journal of Paleontology and I feign interest but really I’m thinking, “Why are you wearing a shirt?”
Whoa. I haven’t gone there in ages. Anyways, the size of the old packets? Who uses such a small spit of ketchup other than maybe Jerry Mouse?
This new packet is much better and now if we can just convince the sugar-substitute packet makers to double the amount in their packets, we could probably save a rain forest of trees.
Look at me, being all earthy. You’re welcome, Earth.
6. Reader Sara, a mother of four, is shaving her head for St. Baldrick’s while raising money to fight childhood cancer. She has raised over $500 toward her $5,000 goal. Go check her page out and read why she decided to shave her head and be sure to browse through some of the adorable kids she’s doing this for. If you can, why not contribute a few dollars to her goal?
IT’S FOR SICK KIDS!
7. The European owners of Sandcastle and Kennywood hate America. Terrorists.
Okay, that’s oversimplification, but seriously, Sandcastle is standing in the way of the Great Allegheny Bike Passage.
8. A 74-year-old woman beat away a would-be robber who tried to steal her purse:
Grace said the woman had a scarf wrapped around the lower half of her face, so she wasn’t able to get a good description of her attacker. But she told Cipriani the woman had “evil” in her eyes.
Well, with the only descriptor being THAT, I don’t think the composite artist is going to have much luck.
“How’s this? Does this look like your attacker’s eyes?”
“Can you make them MORE evil? Like maybe have some lasers shooting out of the eyeballs or something? Also, can you give her devil horns?”
But still, take a lesson. Evil responds to being beaten by a loaf of bread.