As you are aware, the world is ending tonight and Pittsburgh will cease to exist as we know it, and if you’re so flexibly inclined, you may want to bend over and kiss your ass goodbye before your house collapses under the weight of the Great Destroyer Blizzard of Annihilation 2010.
As my mother said when she called me this morning, “Do you need to go to the store? Did you go to the store? I sent your father to the store if you need him to pick up anything for you. Do you need him to get you anything? Did you kiss your ass goodbye yet? I love you. God help us all. Stay strong.”
No, this is actually NOT another post about how hilarious Pittsburgh people act when hearing of approaching snow, and how the local media are all THIS IS A DISASTER OF ATOMIC PROPORTIONS WE’RE SEEING APPROACHING THE CITY OF PITTSBURGH. God bless Jeff Verszyla who remains calm at all times on twitter, simply informing his followers of how much snow they can expect, when and if they might want to alter travel plans, and also to chill the eff out. It’s winter.
The reason for this post is to let you know that while Las Velas is still open tonight for Happy Hour and regular dinner service, because my husband NEVER closes that restaurant for any reason other than holidays even if it means hiring a sled and a team of dogs to get him to town and then sleeping on the floor of his office, we do care about the safety of the Mariachi Band that is traveling from out of state. Therefore, Mariachi Night, which was supposed to be tonight will instead be TOMORROW night. Just in time for the snow to end and for you to be all, “I HAVE GOT TO GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE BEFORE I COOK MY PETS! WHY DIDN’T I GO TO THE GROCERY STORE?!”
So join me tomorrow night from 6-9 for Mariachi Night. I’ll be behind the bar while my husband tallies up the damage I do to his bottom line.
Also, you have got to go watch this video at KDKA to first, laugh your ass off at the video in general, but also to see that they interviewed a woman in front of the toilet paper display at Giant Eagle.
Why does the media only do this with snow storms? Why don’t they hit CVS during a spring downpour all, “As you can see, lots of folks in here buying umbrellas today and with more rain on the way, you can expect the galoshes supply to start running short.”
Or maybe during a heat wave, “As you can see, lot of folks in here stocking up on lip balm, sunglasses, and sunscreen in an effort to prevent themselves from bursting into flames. Ma’am? Ma’am? I can see you have thrown some SPF 30 lip balm into your cart there. Do you think that will be enough to stop your lips from crisping black and falling off of your face?”
Oh, hell. This became a weather post after all. See you tomorrow!
Sexy update: WTAE is LIVE BLOGGING THE SNOW STORM.
THEY ARE LIVE BLOGGING SNOW!
I CAN’T STOP SHOUTING BECAUSE OF HOW RIDICULOUS THIS IS!
Things really ramped up here; snow is now laying on the grass and starting to very lightly lay on interstates/state roads.
I also can’t stop laughing at how hilarious this is.
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TwinmamaTeb Says:
Um yeah, hubs just told me he brought an overnight bag to his restaurant in case HE needed to sleep in his office.
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Shane Says:
The SNOWPOCALYPSE is upon us!
I only hope Dennis Quaid can get here before we have to throw Jake Gyllenhall on the fire.
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Magnus Patris Says:
Check out WTOP.com in DC to see video of EMPTY shelves in the meat department at the grocery stores. I remember a few years ago they had video from a grocery store where a guy had 5 gallons of milk, 3 loaves of bread, a case of beer, a mondo-sized package of toilet paper and a half dozen boxes of condoms. Before the reporter noticed the condoms, she asked what were his plans to “survive” the upcoming storm. Bow-chicka-bow-bow-bow.
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BShaw Says:
The girl in the KDKA video says she can’t go skiing because it’s snowing. Huh? And wow, you should see things here in Lancaster County. Every school in the tri-county area dismissed early(except for the one my wife teaches at) and it hasn’t even done anything yet and it’s 3pm.
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Nick Says:
People are crazy. Everything will be fine in a day, go to the store then. I on the other hand have to travel to Philly then on to Amsterdam tomorrow…Philly airport, 2 feet of snow…I am doomed!
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Sara Plays House Says:
Down here in the South, folks go BANANAS over a half inch of strange white stuff. Schools close. Businesses shut their doors. Grocery stores sell more bread and milk than they have all year.
And the weathermen? I’m always afraid their heads might pop off from the THRILL OF IT ALL. -
Redhead Mom Says:
I am sorry,people. I live in Northeast Wisconsin, and this is no big deal for us. We start to get concerned when we see the wind chills are going to be below -30. Then we get another sweater out of the drawer. I wish I lived there because I just LOVE to sit in front of the fire and watch the snow fall.
Good luck- hope you don’t have to all Donner on the neighbors!! -
Just A Simple Man Says:
DI on WTAE this AM was drooling i swear!
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Novos51 Says:
Tried posting to that site but they moderated it out. I recommended a live blog for every weather event…sprinkles, sunshine, etc.
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Novos51 Says:
I stand corrected they posted it!!!!
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butcher's dog Says:
According to the Weather Channel this morning, the DC area could (operative word there) get over a foot of snow. They’re planning on it clogging up everything. Let’s just remember that when real weather catastrophes hit (think hurricane or tornado), going to the store is the last thing on anyone’s mind. Better to hunker down than to head for the hills.
The “can’t ski because of snow” makes sense when you’re thinking about driving an hour or more each way on roads that will be nasty just to get to the slopes. It’s a logical extension of “if you don’t have to go out, don’t.”
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Tara Says:
Yeah, had to go to G.Iggle to pick up a prescription this AM… SUPERBOWL + BLIZARD = 40 minute wait at the deli and empty potato chip shelves. Because in PITTSBURGH? We have PRIORITIES.
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gunnlino Says:
I still can’t comprehend this…. I grew up in the ‘Burgh and I’m older than the speed limit. Before computerized weather forecasting my Mom would read the Pgh Press put on a babushka walk to the neighborhood store and return with a quart of milk (four kids in the house and a quart of milk ! ). A city dump truck would come up the street with two guys in the back with shovels throwing ashes from the mills onto the street.
Big deal people, this is Western PA snow is not the end of the world, well except maybe in D.C..
How about ( as others have said ) “Stay home ). Okay now, step back take a deep breath and know that the snow will go away in day or so. -
Boring Pittsburgh Says:
We’re already working on “I made it through the Blizzard of 2010″ t-shirts. That’s if any of us actually make it through!
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oldgraymare Says:
As the weathermen always say here in Erie…”we are here to prepare you, not scare you”
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Silica Says:
Jeff Verszyla does not freak out because he went to my alma mater, Allegheny College, in beautiful northwestern PA, where 6-12 inches of snow in a day is pretty much a regular occurrence.
As someone who lived there for four years, as well as upstate NY and Ontario, I can just say that this sort of weather delights me. It’s REAL winter, not slushy March for four months in a row.
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Schuyler Says:
We’re going out to eat tonight … shouldn’t be crowded!!
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H Says:
There is a local station here in Cincinnati that live blogs weather like this, too. It’s kind of funny to read because they have been promising the changeover from rain to snow for several hours now and it is finally happening. I think they were getting worried there for a bit…
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Carpetbagger Says:
I like that. Going to tell my wife I can’t shovel tomorrow on account of the snow.
I just bought all the clothes pins at Ace Hardware, becuase what happens if we get snowed in AND WE RUN OUT OF CLOTHES PINS!!!!!
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spoon Says:
I’m glad we stocked up at COSTCO cuz all I’m gonna do this weekend is go to the bathroom, drink milk and eat bread.
jeff verszyla and julie bologna are so turned on by all this snow that they’re a hot mess off screen. Meanwhile demetrius ivory is kickin back with a rocks glass of Black Velvet and his Wii
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Sooska Says:
A guy was interviewed on KDKA and was asked what he bought at Giant Eagle. Looking abashed, he replied,”T.P. you know. (conspiratorialy) Can I say ‘toilet paper’ on TV?”
srsly.
you want weather hype? here ya go from our ‘friends’ in Baltimore: http://tinyurl.com/weatherhype
GAACK.
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bluzdude Says:
Bagger:
When you come in from shoveling and your clothes are all wet and heavy and you want to go downstairs and hang them up next to the Pittsburgh potty and find that you don’t have enough clothespins to hold everything up, you’ll be glad for your wife’s foresight. -
Shibori Says:
I wasn’t interested in spending my evening eating bread, drinking milk, and wiping my bum, so I went to the Iggle and bought a rotisserie chicken, booze, and trashy magazines. I like my evening better.
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Shibori Says:
Also, WTAE, can we not encourage people by posting the cell phone videos they took as they drove showing all the accidents caused by (I assume) the morons who wrecked trying to take snow videos and pictures with their cell phones while driving?
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NewBurgher Says:
I lived in Amarillo, Texas for years; please note that Amarillo is statistically windier than Chicago! Our favorite activity each year was watching what schmuck reporter would draw the short straw and get stuck reporting on the latest snow storm rolling through the city, by standing on the edge of town on I-40, trying to give the “how cold it is” report with a frozen face while being beaten by 50 mph winds loaded with ice. It was hilarious.
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RJR Says:
Did you notice the lady whose skiing plans were changed putting the mega pack of toilet paper in her buggy!
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KGC Says:
I don’t understand the TP-fetish.. What do people use when it’s not a storm??
Reminds me…
Me: Do you use you left or right hand when you wipe?
They: My [right/left].
Me: I use TP./bad joke
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KGC Says:
Even though it was a bad joke.. go ahead.. admit it.. you checked or thought about it, didn’t you??
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Elmer Fudd Says:
OMG, Julie has a brand new radar, 1 million watts of power, and is wearing a little black dress..I am waiting for her to fire up a cigarette..
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Bojack Says:
@Al Gore & the fraud scientists from Penn State!–
How’s that global warming lookin’ Al??
Still good for you cuz you’ve banked zillions on the scam!!
Dirtbag motherf’ker!!
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Joe K. Says:
@Elmer
Now you’ve got me thinking about Julie firing up a cigarette. That should help me get through the night…
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PittinDC Says:
You think Pittsburgh is bad? You should see things here in DC, where we are expected to get 20-30 inches of snow, have already accumulated over 3 feet of snow for the winter (when usually there’s less than a foot for the whole winter here) and literally no one, except for the people from Pittsburgh and Massachusetts, are prepared. Today, while driving home from work – because I was one of the few people that actually went to work, since everywhere, even the federal government, shut down at noon – people were driving 20 mph below the speed limit because there was snow! In the air! Not on the ground! Here’s an example of the grocery store here: http://gawker.com/5465026/snowpocalypse-10-everybody-panic
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Pitt Pygmy Says:
Bojack: I’m already amazingly tired of hearing my mom say “don’t tell me about global warming.” I haven’t explained it to her and I’m not about to do it here, but suffice it to say that overall warming does include crazy WINTER weather like this.
My favorite term that I’ve heard so far to describe this supposed weather event bearing down upon us like a bat out of hell is “Snowmageddon.” As if we didn’t have more snow than this in the days right after Christmas!
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Elmer Fudd Says:
Welcome to my world, Joe..
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Clair Says:
we’re hunkered in down in northern VA, awaiting the great snOMG storm…i think my kids would love to see 30 inches of snow, and fortunately they are old enough that they will not be totally buried in it lol. But seriously…the news has been on non-stop here since noon, when nothing had really fallen yet! We’ve got a few inches out there (we’re practically around the corner from Dulles airport) and hubby has shoveled once and will go do it again in a few hours before bed. I wonder how much we will really see! Last snow I saw like this, before the December storm we had, was Jan 96 when I still lived there in the Burgh….
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Horshoebend Says:
Speaking of bad jokes and the need to kill time during this “THE PERFECT STORM”. Here’s some fun facts to share by the fire to help you through.
The Human Body!
It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach..
One human hair can support 3kg (6.6 lb).
The average man’s private area is three times the length of his thumb.
Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.
A woman’s heart beats faster than a man’s…
There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
Women blink twice as often as men.
The average person’s skin weighs twice as much as the brain.
Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.
Women reading this will be finished now.
Men are still busy checking their thumbs.
(I have to admit I did check out my thumb.
Thumbs up for the google flasher.)
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KGC Says:
@Horshoebend..
What does it mean if one thumb is longer than the other?
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Elmer Fudd Says:
@KGC I guess that means he has a crooked peep..
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mfj Says:
I left work early and stopped in a local Foodland to get some stocking-up stuff. The store was orderly and calm, and only had a few people in it, and most of us came to the realization that there is nothing in a Foodland that any of us want.
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cmd_45 Says:
Silica: I’m originally from Erie. When I talked to my folks tonight they commented on how mild this winter has been with “only” 68 inches of snow so far. I just laugh at all of this madness.
Oh, and everyone count forward 40 weeks from tonight/tomorrow and see if there is a baby boom that week…you’d be surprised;)
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mike Says:
It is snowing like hell out here in the North Hills. I think for once the weather guys and girls may be right about this one. 6 inches or one of my thumbs has fallen so far.
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Horshoebend Says:
@kfg I would guess you take the longer one and multiply by 3. I’m just the messenger so I really don’t know the correct answer.
@elmer Now that there’s funny. I didn’t consider that. Again just the messenger. Just for fun. Silly albeit. Crooked peep. LOL
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DG Says:
As luck would have it, we actually ran out of milk this morning, and I had to send the hubby out today with all the “milk, bread and toilet paper” people. At least he would have gone even if snow was not in the forecast.
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bucdaddy Says:
Wish this photo we have hanging in a hallway st the newspaper office were online. It’s from Terra Alta, W.Va., and it’s of people standing in a plowed road with about a 10-foot wall of snow on either side. There’s a backhoe in the photo and the snow is piled higher than the backhoe.
Terra Alta has topped 200 inches in a winter.
Pittsburgh? Pffft. Buncha weenies. I wave my thumbs at you.
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Bojack Says:
@PittPygmy-
Excuuse me?? YOU are going to explain something???
You arrogant shit-eater!!
Let me EXPLAIN to YOU!!!
BAD SCIENCE!!!! TOTAL FRAUD!!!! SCAM FOR $$$$$
Go fk yourself after learning what “bad science” means, twerp!!! -
Carol Says:
@ Bojack and PittPygmy:
Don’t confuse weather with climate.
That is all.(My son goes into great detail explaining this stuff to me and I can’t remember it, but he says so, so there.)
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Bojack Says:
@Pygmy-
You should listen to your mother instead of drinking the Kool-Aid, moron!!
[India forms new climate change body]
The Indian government has established its own body to monitor the effects of global warming because it “cannot rely” on the United Nations’ Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, the group headed by its own leading scientist Dr R.K Pachauri.
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PA girl trapped in VA Says:
Last weekend, in Virginia Beach, we got about 9 inch of snow Friday/Saturday. Schools were closed here until Wednesday. Naval Bases were closed Monday and a 2 hour delay Tuesday. Our side streets and neighborhoods never saw one city truck to clear them, only highways and major roadways. Believe me it was a SNOWPOCALYPSE here. I haven’t seen a bad snow storm like that in years and I guess about 6 years ago was the last bad storm here (but I wasn’t living here at the time). Beach locals + Snow = disaster….and hell on earth and 46 accidents on 3 interstates.
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Traveller Says:
My friend had to pick up her roommate @ midnight last night. I couldn’t let her drive (even though she has a Wrangler). So I did. Wow, what a journey.
Going from Mt Washington to Parkway Center Mall and back = 2 hours. I didn’t count the mileage, but we had some crazy silly detours to avoid the steepest hills, stuck cars and downed trees. Final route was something like, Mt Washington to Greentreen via Dormont. No shit.
I loved every minute of the drive.I hope the dude that was stuck on Parkway West inbound got home and warm.
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Bojack Says:
LOL@Carol
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BlueNumber2 Says:
Back in 2003 I was sitting down one evening to watch a TV show that I was enjoying at the time. As the appointed time of the show arrived, a graphic came up indicating a Channel 11 special report.
What was the special report you say? It was a retrospective honoring the 10 year “anniversary” of the Blizzard of ‘93.
Seriously…
So wait for 10 years from now and maybe a favorite show of yours will be replaced by a similar retrospective of Snowpocalypse 2010.
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Sarah Says:
So here in College Park, MD (home of the UMD Terrapins) we have 25 inches and its still coming down…so DC is buried and essentially useless. Can’t tell anymore that we shoveled 12″ off the front steps at midnight…
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LuAnn Says:
“DC is … essentially useless. ”
No different than any other day then…
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Summer's Kiss Says:
We have 27 inches in the eastern ‘burbs. And yes, I measured in a couple of different places. Oy vey.
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The Blog of Burgher Jon » Saturday Musings: The Snow from Charlotte Says:
[...] Montanez added some comments. She has a hilarious post on the media coverage. My favorite [...]
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Megan Says:
God bless Andy Sheehan, who’s been downgraded from KDKA Investigator to “guy with a camera crew walking around downtown interviewing each person he sees.”
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Jen Says:
ok, our pittsburgh meteorologists aren’t so bad:
“AccuWeather.com Snowpocalypse Now! Meteorologist Freakout”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpxiCxO5k0g -
could help myself Says:
I just had to ‘live blog’ at WTAE; just once
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one-eyed dick Says:
Well, gee, I guess I can relate to all of you. It rained here in Sarasota yesterday. Kinda hard, too. And the wind blew a little bit.
When we have, umm, “weather events” in the Sunshine State, we, too, buy milk, bread and toilet paper. Then we buy alcohol, plywood and generators. And body bags, because you just never know…..
Now you know what “hunkering down” means.
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steeler_tom Says:
I can relate to all of yunz.
I’m marooned in the mojave desert (Edwards AFb, CA) since 1989. and yesterday we had a storm blow in. Raining like all get out but severe damage to many homes here in the form of blown over lawn chairs and the like. (seriously you should see how wacked our people get about a rain storm here!) I am thinking about all of you back there. Glad I’m not at the moment. ALthough if I was I think I would have headed to the cabin, and enjoy being snowbound for a few days…. Sigh…. -
Pitt Pygmy Says:
Good Lord, I feel as though my eyebrows may have been singed off by the burn just thrown my way. I’m going to go have some hot chocolate, get ready to watch the Pens, and remain firm in my stance on global warming, though I will certainly refrain from INSULTING anyone who disagrees, because that’s how my momma raised me.
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mike Says:
Global warming just started again – the sun just came out!! GO PENS
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LaReina Says:
Does snow cause diarrhea? Is that why people buy so much TP before the big storm hits?
I know Al Gore turns my stomach, especially when he’s so wrong about human activity causing global warming and I know he’s in this fraud only to make gazillions of dollars, but he has yet to give me the runs.
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northside15212 Says:
KDKA video was a dud…except for the chick in capri pants at 1:07. I think there is more hype ABOUT the hype about the snow on this blog than anywhere else. Honestly, I don’t see anyone getting worked up about it other than the media.
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Bojack Says:
@pyg-
Can you relate to the Heaven’s Gate “believers?” You know, the ones with the purple sneakers??
They only harmed themselves!
You quacks, or co-purveyors of horseshit, who refuse to logically investigate claims of such real importance and huge repercussions are no different to me than Germans in 1930-45
who bought Hitler’s delusions!!!So, be insulted Herr Goebbels!!
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Political Party Pooper Says:
So…I’m thinking about opening up an Auto Body shop In Pittsburgh. What do you guys think?
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tim Says:
Check out this youtube video for a Toronto version of snow-phobia: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZEMRAWaVr8
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Clair Says:
my daughter texted me and said they got 23 inches…she and my mom are in the eastern suburbs up there in Pittsburgh. wonder if she will have school (PCI downtown) on Monday LOL.
we are in the far west DC metro area and we have about 30 inches in the yard, give or take…32.4 officially at Dulles airport, just around the corner. It’s been an adventure! Our district has already closed school Monday and Tuesday. I actually saw a local news station online calling this the Snowtorious B.I.G. LOL. -
Bojack Says:
OK, here’s a little gift from to Pygmy and Carol’s son!!!
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Anonymous Says:
Checked the site because WTAE has a story about about Mayor Lukey being stuck outside of Pittsburgh on his Birthday due to snow. That’s a shame. I bet his mommy was making his favorite desert too! I thought you might know more.
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Carol Says:
@Bojack
Perhaps you could rephrase “Pygmy and Carol’s son.” My husband was…puzzled.
And, here’s a little something for you to ponder.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zORv8wwiadQ -
Beth Says:
@Bojack
Loved the Herr Goebbels comment, but it hurts when I laugh from shoveling all this dang snow.
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Cassie Says:
Live blogging snow. Psh.
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PittCheMBA Says:
Thanks for the TP video, it just reminded me that my supply is running low. I prefer Jeff Verszyla’s forecast over Julie Bologna’s. Why? JV is cool and calm and is not overly dramatic. JB is a drama queen. She hypes the weather too much, emphasizes places like Garret County in Maryland who usually receives more snow, and throws out meteorological terms like freezing fog to prove she is just not eye candy.
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Bojack Says:
@Carol-
It was a typo- should have been “..from me to pygmy and Carol’s
son..”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjJegaufV6A
And your goofy 3-card monte clown with a dry marker can go f’ck himself!! He just rights off column A??
Let’s just turn the whole f’ing world upside down just in case!!What’s a little total economic ruin?? (Except for Al Gore and his butt-buddies?) PLEEEZ
Just keep drinking the Kool ai better yet, let me give you a PO Box to send $$$ to and we’ll convince the rest of these doubters the sky is falling!!
WHILE YOU’RE SHOVELING SNOW AND (as Pygmy was arrogantly going to “EXPLAIN)” THAT THESE ‘ANOMALIES’ (lmao) were ‘predicted!’
Send me the money!! HAHAHA
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Ben Says:
I love people who think that because we still get snow, global warming does not exist. It’s pretty much like my girlfriend always says: If you are republican, you are either dumb, selfish or both.
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Herr Goebbles Says:
Hey Bojack – refering to you Nazi Germany reference….
When German prisoners were captured and sent to POW camps in America, the Negro army MPs guarding them had to ride in the BACK OF THE TRAIN while the white POWs rode in the front.
Just sayin, we’re not smarter or less gullible for horse-doodie here in America than anywhere else.
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Dash66 Says:
Wow, from a fun article about snowfall and how it’s being reported, we’re getting people getting all upset and calling each other names and being generally classless. (on both sides of the global warming issue, but it makes me embarrassed to see that the worst offender is on my side) Come on guys, why can’t we agree to disagree, shake hands, and let this post go back to being fun, huh?
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unsatisfied Says:
a post about the overhyped-as-usual local weather coverage turns into a mean spirited diatribe evoking nazi germany.
nice.
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Bojack Says:
@Ben-
I surely hope you and your ignorant wench don’t spawn!!@unsatisfied-
Ignorance needs to be exterminated! -
Bojack Says:
Exactly when did the definition of “liberal” change totally from
‘open minded,’ ‘consider alternatives,’ ‘explore new paths,’ to
a singular course of robotic, unquestioning, blind obedience that would make the most fervent Nazi
or Muslim extremist blush??????????There is an “I” beside my name!!!
