Viva la SNOW!

As you are aware, the world is ending tonight and Pittsburgh will cease to exist as we know it, and if you’re so flexibly inclined, you may want to bend over and kiss your ass goodbye before your house collapses under the weight of the Great Destroyer Blizzard of Annihilation 2010.

As my mother said when she called me this morning, “Do you need to go to the store?  Did you go to the store?  I sent your father to the store if you need him to pick up anything for you.  Do you need him to get you anything? Did you kiss your ass goodbye yet?  I love you.  God help us all. Stay strong.”

No, this is actually NOT another post about how hilarious Pittsburgh people act when hearing of approaching snow, and how the local media are all THIS IS A DISASTER OF ATOMIC PROPORTIONS WE’RE SEEING APPROACHING THE CITY OF PITTSBURGH.  God bless Jeff Verszyla who remains calm at all times on twitter, simply informing his followers of how much snow they can expect, when and if they might want to alter travel plans, and also to chill the eff out.  It’s winter.

The reason for this post is to let you know that while Las Velas is still open tonight for Happy Hour and regular dinner service, because my husband NEVER closes that restaurant for any reason other than holidays even if it means hiring a sled and a team of dogs to get him to town and then sleeping on the floor of his office, we do care about the safety of the Mariachi Band that is traveling from out of state.  Therefore, Mariachi Night, which was supposed to be tonight will instead be TOMORROW night.  Just in time for the snow to end and for you to be all, “I HAVE GOT TO GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE BEFORE I COOK MY PETS! WHY DIDN’T I GO TO THE GROCERY STORE?!”

So join me tomorrow night from 6-9 for Mariachi Night.  I’ll be behind the bar while my husband tallies up the damage I do to his bottom line.

Also, you have got to go watch this video at KDKA to first, laugh your ass off at the video in general, but also to see that they interviewed a woman in front of the toilet paper display at Giant Eagle.

Why does the media only do this with snow storms?  Why don’t they hit CVS during a spring downpour all, “As you can see, lots of folks in here buying umbrellas today and with more rain on the way, you can expect the galoshes supply to start running short.”

Or maybe during a heat wave, “As you can see, lot of folks in here stocking up on lip balm, sunglasses, and sunscreen in an effort to prevent themselves from bursting into flames.  Ma’am? Ma’am?  I can see you have thrown some SPF 30 lip balm into your cart there.  Do you think that will be enough to stop your lips from crisping black and falling off of your face?”

Oh, hell.  This became a weather post after all.  See you tomorrow!

Sexy update: WTAE is LIVE BLOGGING THE SNOW STORM.

THEY ARE LIVE BLOGGING SNOW!

I CAN’T STOP SHOUTING BECAUSE OF HOW RIDICULOUS THIS IS!

Things really ramped up here; snow is now laying on the grass and starting to very lightly lay on interstates/state roads.

I also can’t stop laughing at how hilarious this is.





82 Comments


  1. TwinmamaTeb
    February 5, 2010 2:50 pm

    Um yeah, hubs just told me he brought an overnight bag to his restaurant in case HE needed to sleep in his office.



  2. Shane
    February 5, 2010 3:01 pm

    The SNOWPOCALYPSE is upon us!

    I only hope Dennis Quaid can get here before we have to throw Jake Gyllenhall on the fire.



  3. Magnus Patris
    February 5, 2010 3:01 pm

    Check out WTOP.com in DC to see video of EMPTY shelves in the meat department at the grocery stores. I remember a few years ago they had video from a grocery store where a guy had 5 gallons of milk, 3 loaves of bread, a case of beer, a mondo-sized package of toilet paper and a half dozen boxes of condoms. Before the reporter noticed the condoms, she asked what were his plans to “survive” the upcoming storm. Bow-chicka-bow-bow-bow.



  4. BShaw
    February 5, 2010 3:08 pm

    The girl in the KDKA video says she can’t go skiing because it’s snowing. Huh? And wow, you should see things here in Lancaster County. Every school in the tri-county area dismissed early(except for the one my wife teaches at) and it hasn’t even done anything yet and it’s 3pm.



  5. Nick
    February 5, 2010 3:11 pm

    People are crazy. Everything will be fine in a day, go to the store then. I on the other hand have to travel to Philly then on to Amsterdam tomorrow…Philly airport, 2 feet of snow…I am doomed!



  6. Sara Plays House
    February 5, 2010 3:11 pm

    Down here in the South, folks go BANANAS over a half inch of strange white stuff. Schools close. Businesses shut their doors. Grocery stores sell more bread and milk than they have all year.
    And the weathermen? I’m always afraid their heads might pop off from the THRILL OF IT ALL.



  7. Redhead Mom
    February 5, 2010 3:12 pm

    I am sorry,people. I live in Northeast Wisconsin, and this is no big deal for us. We start to get concerned when we see the wind chills are going to be below -30. Then we get another sweater out of the drawer. I wish I lived there because I just LOVE to sit in front of the fire and watch the snow fall.
    Good luck- hope you don’t have to all Donner on the neighbors!!



  8. Just A Simple Man
    February 5, 2010 3:18 pm

    DI on WTAE this AM was drooling i swear!



  9. Novos51
    February 5, 2010 3:21 pm

    Tried posting to that site but they moderated it out. I recommended a live blog for every weather event…sprinkles, sunshine, etc.



  10. Novos51
    February 5, 2010 3:22 pm

    I stand corrected they posted it!!!!



  11. butcher's dog
    February 5, 2010 3:23 pm

    According to the Weather Channel this morning, the DC area could (operative word there) get over a foot of snow. They’re planning on it clogging up everything. Let’s just remember that when real weather catastrophes hit (think hurricane or tornado), going to the store is the last thing on anyone’s mind. Better to hunker down than to head for the hills.

    The “can’t ski because of snow” makes sense when you’re thinking about driving an hour or more each way on roads that will be nasty just to get to the slopes. It’s a logical extension of “if you don’t have to go out, don’t.”



  12. Tara
    February 5, 2010 3:29 pm

    Yeah, had to go to G.Iggle to pick up a prescription this AM… SUPERBOWL + BLIZARD = 40 minute wait at the deli and empty potato chip shelves. Because in PITTSBURGH? We have PRIORITIES.



  13. gunnlino
    February 5, 2010 3:41 pm

    I still can’t comprehend this…. I grew up in the ‘Burgh and I’m older than the speed limit. Before computerized weather forecasting my Mom would read the Pgh Press put on a babushka walk to the neighborhood store and return with a quart of milk (four kids in the house and a quart of milk ! ). A city dump truck would come up the street with two guys in the back with shovels throwing ashes from the mills onto the street.
    Big deal people, this is Western PA snow is not the end of the world, well except maybe in D.C..
    How about ( as others have said ) “Stay home ). Okay now, step back take a deep breath and know that the snow will go away in day or so.



  14. Boring Pittsburgh
    February 5, 2010 4:12 pm

    We’re already working on “I made it through the Blizzard of 2010” t-shirts. That’s if any of us actually make it through!



  15. oldgraymare
    February 5, 2010 4:13 pm

    As the weathermen always say here in Erie…”we are here to prepare you, not scare you”



  16. Silica
    February 5, 2010 4:26 pm

    Jeff Verszyla does not freak out because he went to my alma mater, Allegheny College, in beautiful northwestern PA, where 6-12 inches of snow in a day is pretty much a regular occurrence.

    As someone who lived there for four years, as well as upstate NY and Ontario, I can just say that this sort of weather delights me. It’s REAL winter, not slushy March for four months in a row.



  17. Schuyler
    February 5, 2010 4:26 pm

    We’re going out to eat tonight … shouldn’t be crowded!! :-)



  18. H
    February 5, 2010 4:27 pm

    There is a local station here in Cincinnati that live blogs weather like this, too. It’s kind of funny to read because they have been promising the changeover from rain to snow for several hours now and it is finally happening. I think they were getting worried there for a bit…



  19. Carpetbagger
    February 5, 2010 4:32 pm

    I like that. Going to tell my wife I can’t shovel tomorrow on account of the snow.

    I just bought all the clothes pins at Ace Hardware, becuase what happens if we get snowed in AND WE RUN OUT OF CLOTHES PINS!!!!!



  20. spoon
    February 5, 2010 4:49 pm

    I’m glad we stocked up at COSTCO cuz all I’m gonna do this weekend is go to the bathroom, drink milk and eat bread.

    jeff verszyla and julie bologna are so turned on by all this snow that they’re a hot mess off screen. Meanwhile demetrius ivory is kickin back with a rocks glass of Black Velvet and his Wii



  21. Sooska
    February 5, 2010 4:54 pm

    A guy was interviewed on KDKA and was asked what he bought at Giant Eagle. Looking abashed, he replied,”T.P. you know. (conspiratorialy) Can I say ‘toilet paper’ on TV?”

    srsly.

    you want weather hype? here ya go from our ‘friends’ in Baltimore: http://tinyurl.com/weatherhype

    GAACK.



  22. bluzdude
    February 5, 2010 4:56 pm

    Bagger:
    When you come in from shoveling and your clothes are all wet and heavy and you want to go downstairs and hang them up next to the Pittsburgh potty and find that you don’t have enough clothespins to hold everything up, you’ll be glad for your wife’s foresight.



  23. Shibori
    February 5, 2010 4:59 pm

    I wasn’t interested in spending my evening eating bread, drinking milk, and wiping my bum, so I went to the Iggle and bought a rotisserie chicken, booze, and trashy magazines. I like my evening better.



  24. Shibori
    February 5, 2010 5:01 pm

    Also, WTAE, can we not encourage people by posting the cell phone videos they took as they drove showing all the accidents caused by (I assume) the morons who wrecked trying to take snow videos and pictures with their cell phones while driving?



  25. NewBurgher
    February 5, 2010 5:01 pm

    I lived in Amarillo, Texas for years; please note that Amarillo is statistically windier than Chicago! Our favorite activity each year was watching what schmuck reporter would draw the short straw and get stuck reporting on the latest snow storm rolling through the city, by standing on the edge of town on I-40, trying to give the “how cold it is” report with a frozen face while being beaten by 50 mph winds loaded with ice. It was hilarious.



  26. RJR
    February 5, 2010 5:30 pm

    Did you notice the lady whose skiing plans were changed putting the mega pack of toilet paper in her buggy!



  27. KGC
    February 5, 2010 5:33 pm

    I don’t understand the TP-fetish.. What do people use when it’s not a storm??

    Reminds me…

    Me: Do you use you left or right hand when you wipe?
    They: My [right/left].
    Me: I use TP.

    /bad joke



  28. KGC
    February 5, 2010 5:47 pm

    Even though it was a bad joke.. go ahead.. admit it.. you checked or thought about it, didn’t you??



  29. Elmer Fudd
    February 5, 2010 5:50 pm

    OMG, Julie has a brand new radar, 1 million watts of power, and is wearing a little black dress..I am waiting for her to fire up a cigarette..



  30. Bojack
    February 5, 2010 6:02 pm

    @Al Gore & the fraud scientists from Penn State!–

    How’s that global warming lookin’ Al??

    Still good for you cuz you’ve banked zillions on the scam!!

    Dirtbag motherf’ker!!



  31. Joe K.
    February 5, 2010 6:46 pm

    @Elmer

    Now you’ve got me thinking about Julie firing up a cigarette. That should help me get through the night…



  32. PittinDC
    February 5, 2010 6:58 pm

    You think Pittsburgh is bad? You should see things here in DC, where we are expected to get 20-30 inches of snow, have already accumulated over 3 feet of snow for the winter (when usually there’s less than a foot for the whole winter here) and literally no one, except for the people from Pittsburgh and Massachusetts, are prepared. Today, while driving home from work – because I was one of the few people that actually went to work, since everywhere, even the federal government, shut down at noon – people were driving 20 mph below the speed limit because there was snow! In the air! Not on the ground! Here’s an example of the grocery store here: http://gawker.com/5465026/snowpocalypse-10-everybody-panic



  33. Pitt Pygmy
    February 5, 2010 7:14 pm

    Bojack: I’m already amazingly tired of hearing my mom say “don’t tell me about global warming.” I haven’t explained it to her and I’m not about to do it here, but suffice it to say that overall warming does include crazy WINTER weather like this.

    My favorite term that I’ve heard so far to describe this supposed weather event bearing down upon us like a bat out of hell is “Snowmageddon.” As if we didn’t have more snow than this in the days right after Christmas!



  34. Elmer Fudd
    February 5, 2010 7:20 pm

    Welcome to my world, Joe..



  35. Clair
    February 5, 2010 7:37 pm

    we’re hunkered in down in northern VA, awaiting the great snOMG storm…i think my kids would love to see 30 inches of snow, and fortunately they are old enough that they will not be totally buried in it lol. But seriously…the news has been on non-stop here since noon, when nothing had really fallen yet! We’ve got a few inches out there (we’re practically around the corner from Dulles airport) and hubby has shoveled once and will go do it again in a few hours before bed. I wonder how much we will really see! Last snow I saw like this, before the December storm we had, was Jan 96 when I still lived there in the Burgh….



  36. Horshoebend
    February 5, 2010 8:00 pm

    Speaking of bad jokes and the need to kill time during this “THE PERFECT STORM”. Here’s some fun facts to share by the fire to help you through.

    The Human Body!

    It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach..

    One human hair can support 3kg (6.6 lb).

    The average man’s private area is three times the length of his thumb.

    Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.

    A woman’s heart beats faster than a man’s…

    There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

    Women blink twice as often as men.

    The average person’s skin weighs twice as much as the brain.

    Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.

    If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.

    Women reading this will be finished now.

    Men are still busy checking their thumbs.

    (I have to admit I did check out my thumb.

    Thumbs up for the google flasher.)



  37. KGC
    February 5, 2010 8:19 pm

    @Horshoebend..

    What does it mean if one thumb is longer than the other?



  38. Elmer Fudd
    February 5, 2010 8:24 pm

    @KGC I guess that means he has a crooked peep..



  39. mfj
    February 5, 2010 8:55 pm

    I left work early and stopped in a local Foodland to get some stocking-up stuff. The store was orderly and calm, and only had a few people in it, and most of us came to the realization that there is nothing in a Foodland that any of us want.



  40. cmd_45
    February 5, 2010 9:02 pm

    Silica: I’m originally from Erie. When I talked to my folks tonight they commented on how mild this winter has been with “only” 68 inches of snow so far. I just laugh at all of this madness.

    Oh, and everyone count forward 40 weeks from tonight/tomorrow and see if there is a baby boom that week…you’d be surprised;)



  41. mike
    February 5, 2010 9:27 pm

    It is snowing like hell out here in the North Hills. I think for once the weather guys and girls may be right about this one. 6 inches or one of my thumbs has fallen so far.



  42. Horshoebend
    February 5, 2010 9:57 pm

    @kfg I would guess you take the longer one and multiply by 3. I’m just the messenger so I really don’t know the correct answer.

    @elmer Now that there’s funny. I didn’t consider that. Again just the messenger. Just for fun. Silly albeit. Crooked peep. LOL



  43. DG
    February 5, 2010 10:12 pm

    As luck would have it, we actually ran out of milk this morning, and I had to send the hubby out today with all the “milk, bread and toilet paper” people. At least he would have gone even if snow was not in the forecast.



  44. bucdaddy
    February 5, 2010 11:11 pm

    Wish this photo we have hanging in a hallway st the newspaper office were online. It’s from Terra Alta, W.Va., and it’s of people standing in a plowed road with about a 10-foot wall of snow on either side. There’s a backhoe in the photo and the snow is piled higher than the backhoe.

    Terra Alta has topped 200 inches in a winter.

    Pittsburgh? Pffft. Buncha weenies. I wave my thumbs at you.



  45. Bojack
    February 6, 2010 1:00 am

    @PittPygmy-

    Excuuse me?? YOU are going to explain something???

    You arrogant shit-eater!!

    Let me EXPLAIN to YOU!!!

    BAD SCIENCE!!!! TOTAL FRAUD!!!! SCAM FOR $$$$$
    Go fk yourself after learning what “bad science” means, twerp!!!



  46. Carol
    February 6, 2010 1:08 am

    @ Bojack and PittPygmy:

    Don’t confuse weather with climate.
    That is all.

    (My son goes into great detail explaining this stuff to me and I can’t remember it, but he says so, so there.)



  47. Bojack
    February 6, 2010 1:11 am

    @Pygmy-

    You should listen to your mother instead of drinking the Kool-Aid, moron!!

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/environment/climatechange/7157590/India-forms-new-climate-change-body.html

    [India forms new climate change body]

    The Indian government has established its own body to monitor the effects of global warming because it “cannot rely” on the United Nations’ Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, the group headed by its own leading scientist Dr R.K Pachauri.



  48. PA girl trapped in VA
    February 6, 2010 3:58 am

    Last weekend, in Virginia Beach, we got about 9 inch of snow Friday/Saturday. Schools were closed here until Wednesday. Naval Bases were closed Monday and a 2 hour delay Tuesday. Our side streets and neighborhoods never saw one city truck to clear them, only highways and major roadways. Believe me it was a SNOWPOCALYPSE here. I haven’t seen a bad snow storm like that in years and I guess about 6 years ago was the last bad storm here (but I wasn’t living here at the time). Beach locals + Snow = disaster….and hell on earth and 46 accidents on 3 interstates.



  49. Traveller
    February 6, 2010 8:17 am

    My friend had to pick up her roommate @ midnight last night. I couldn’t let her drive (even though she has a Wrangler). So I did. Wow, what a journey.
    Going from Mt Washington to Parkway Center Mall and back = 2 hours. I didn’t count the mileage, but we had some crazy silly detours to avoid the steepest hills, stuck cars and downed trees. Final route was something like, Mt Washington to Greentreen via Dormont. No shit.
    I loved every minute of the drive.

    I hope the dude that was stuck on Parkway West inbound got home and warm.



  50. Bojack
    February 6, 2010 8:33 am

    LOL@Carol :-)