Depends on what your definition of “did” is.

First, a quick rundown of what you need to know.  Rep. Mike Veon is on trial for what has become known as “Bonusgate” because you see, we can thank Watergate, which actually had the word “gate” in its name, for this practice the media, both old and new, have of tacking gate on to the end of other words in order to indicate scandal:

Bonusgate

Lewinskygate

BlowJobintheOvalOfficeGate

HomelandSecuritySUVGate

Circumnavigate

You get the picture.

Anyway, one of Rep. Bill DeWeese’s former aides, Michael Manzo was also indicted in Bonusgate and took the stand against Veon.  When Mr. Manzo was cross-examined, the defense tried to paint him as an untrustworthy witness because he carried on an affair prior to and after his marriage.

Boys, if you have ever cheated on your woman or are considering cheating on your woman and you don’t believe in the cruel asswhooping that can be delivered by the Karma Boomerang, have a look at what Mr. Manzo was forced to reveal under oath, for the media to report, for all posterity, for his Wiki page:

Mr. Manzo had testified Monday that he had a sexual affair with her and that their “intimacy” ended around the time of his marriage in May 2005. On cross-examination today, he conceded they quit having sexual intercourse because “I had some inability to perform” but continued having a physical relationship through 2008.

In addition:

Raynak asked Manzo whether there were other staffers with whom Manzo was intimate who got bonuses.

“I don’t remember,” Manzo said.

He does not recall, you see, if he had sexual intercourse with any other women who got bonuses.

There’s a lot of things I can understand a guy would forget.  Their wife’s birthday.  To buy milk on the way home.  To deposit the check.

To take their Cialis pill.

Whether or not they extra-maritally banged any chicks in the copy room?

Not so much.

So to sum up:  Mr. Manzo played chicken with the Karma Boomerang and now his peep is on the fritz.

End credits.





12 Comments

  1. hugh.c.mcbride
    February 9, 2010 2:26 pm

    I always forget — was it Magellan who got all caught up in that “Circumnavigate” controversy, or was it Copernicus?

    Reason #8,341 why That’s Church is a “must read”: Wordplay. Wondrous, witty, wacky, winsome wordplay :-)



  2. chrys
    February 9, 2010 2:33 pm

    “his peep is on the fritz.”

    Love Scrubs!! LOL!! Didn’t JD call his Mr. Peeps? LOL!

    And just for the record, the pic you posted looks like a man who’s peep is on the fritz.. LMAO!! poor guy.. :D



  3. Still A Fan
    February 9, 2010 2:36 pm

    You forgot chainlink swingingate.



  4. Joe K.
    February 9, 2010 2:36 pm

    But they “continued having a physical relationship.” LOL.

    On another note, why do I have a sinking feeling that none of these “Bonusgate” trials will result in convictions? There already was one acquittal and now this star witness is diddling around town while forgetting to take his Cialis.



  5. TK
    February 9, 2010 3:00 pm

    their “intimacy” ended around the time of his marriage in May 2005. On cross-examination today, he conceded they quit having sexual intercourse because “I had some inability to perform” but continued having a physical relationship through 2008.

    So from May 2005 through December 2008 they didn’t have sex but did have a “physical relationship”. What does that mean? And it ended around the time of his marriage? Does that mean he and his wife were chaste for three and one half years?

    Someone’s lying on the stand to cover his butt with his wife.



  6. Beth
    February 9, 2010 3:36 pm

    You have to check out The Mitchell and Webb Look. It’s BBC and I think Netflix has it streaming, but they did a bit on this “gate” thing.

    http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=18632820



  7. Al
    February 9, 2010 4:07 pm

    “Peep is on the fritz” would be a great band name.



  8. butcher's dog
    February 9, 2010 4:44 pm

    hugh.c.mcbride is right, of course. And he should e-mail me (check message through your web site).

    I’ll take That’s Church over just about any reading I can think of. Ginny, I only wish I’d been your high school English teacher!



  9. betoon
    February 10, 2010 9:04 am

    But the burning question is…does he remember how to shovelsnow. If so, we have a job for him. And let’s hope his wife doesn’t decide to pick up the snow shovel!



  10. Nick
    February 10, 2010 11:03 am

    V, I appreciate the scrubs reference! (Unless ‘peep is on the fritz’ is a colloquialism I’m not familiar with yet).



  11. Monty
    February 10, 2010 11:54 pm

    He should have just chosen to Mastergate. Punchin’ the clown ain’t no crime.



  12. bluzdude
    February 11, 2010 7:19 pm

    I “snorked” at circumnavigate.

    Now I am waiting for a scandal in which IMs are involved, just so I can call it “Instigate”.