When a girl walks in with …

I follow Santonio Holmes on twitter (Yes, it really is his account. Click the little tweet bird on his official web page to verify) because I like to know what the Asshat finds tweet-worthy.

Apparently, he finds telling us that he’s at a strip club tweet-worthy:

I also noticed that despite having over 7,300 followers, he follows all of 18 people on twitter and I became curious as to who those eighteen people are.  In addition to Ray Lewis and SouljaBoy (Did I spell and capitalize that right?  Or is it SoulJaBoy?  Souljaboy?  SoULjAb0Y?), here is a look at some of the others he’s following.

Because I don’t want to get your ass in trouble at work, and because some of these might be considered a bit not safe for work, click here when it’s safe.

There seems to be a theme here, butt I can’t quite put my finger on it.  Maybe you can ASSist me?  It’s just driving me badonkadonkers.

I wonder if he’ll follow me if I change my twitter avatar to this:


  1. SpudMom
    February 10, 2010 7:24 pm

    Dear God in Heaven, where did you *find* that last pic?!?

    Hand me the bleach. I need to pour the whole bottle in my eyes.

  2. Cathie
    February 10, 2010 7:27 pm

    I’m sure his mom is so proud.

  3. L-A
    February 10, 2010 7:30 pm


  4. PittCheMBA
    February 10, 2010 7:30 pm

    So, is he a Tiger Woods wannabee?

  5. Virginia
    February 10, 2010 7:33 pm


    That picture has been an internet joke for years. ;)

  6. SpudMom
    February 10, 2010 7:35 pm

    And yet somehow I managed to miss it until now.

  7. Jessica
    February 10, 2010 7:36 pm

    OH god. I hope he starts following you so you can tweet him was a douche he is.

  8. bucdaddy
    February 10, 2010 8:00 pm

    I don’t want to get anywhere near Santonio’s “little” tweet bird, thankyouverymuch.

  9. Akirah
    February 10, 2010 8:41 pm

    You left out the few boob girls he’s got on there too!

  10. cmd_45
    February 10, 2010 8:48 pm

    Asshat likes him some junk in the trunk!

  11. Bram R
    February 10, 2010 10:18 pm

    This reminds so vividly of the lyrics to E.I. by Nelly that I have to share:

    I drive fastly, call me Jeff Gord-on
    In the black SS with the naviga-tion
    See the joint blaz-on, somethin smells amaz-on
    I got a chick rollin up, half black and asi-an
    Another one pag-in, tellin me to come home
    Her husband on vacation and left her home alone…

  12. Pensgirl
    February 10, 2010 11:29 pm

    Back that tweet up!

  13. Leslie
    February 10, 2010 11:31 pm

    Hee hee hee!

  14. Bob
    February 11, 2010 8:43 am

    But the Rooney clan is the class of the league. PUH-LEEZE. When a player is deemed too valuable to let go (Skippy, AssHat, Duke of Fug, whomever it was that beat up his girl in the North Hills) discretions like these are worthy of only a craftily written press release. When a player is deemed a bum (Najeh Davenport) and does something wrong he’s gone in a NY minute.

  15. Cmitch
    February 11, 2010 9:06 am

    Re: Bob

    Discretions like what? Going to a stripclub? Following some ho’s on the twitter?

  16. Summer
    February 11, 2010 9:51 am

    Cmitch, have you already forgotten the GFSP?

  17. Cmitch
    February 11, 2010 9:57 am

    Uh oh, I may have because I can’t think of what GFSP stands for. I am prepared to eat my words from the previous comment…Please be gentle

  18. Monty
    February 11, 2010 9:59 am

    Cmitch – it refers to his third leg.

    And his tweets sure do butcher the Queen’s English.

  19. Virginia
    February 11, 2010 10:01 am


  20. Cmitch
    February 11, 2010 10:16 am

    Oh, If I was sporting equipment like that I would take pictures of it daily. I would even dress it up and include set designs around it Anne Geddes’ style.

  21. Kathy
    February 11, 2010 12:06 pm

    Brain Bleach! Stat! Ahhhh…. I’m traumatized. Hep me!

  22. Johnaz6312
    February 11, 2010 12:44 pm

    I’M Blind!! I’m BLIND!!! That last photograph!!!! Help me!! Help Me!

  23. Carol
    February 11, 2010 12:45 pm

    That last pic has been floating around the internet for a loong time, but having Steeler Gold on her posterior is somehow even more offensive. Bleh…

  24. john jake
    February 11, 2010 1:16 pm

    Nonsense. Holmes is single, and so long as he’s providing support for the children he has, there is nothing wrong with any of this.

  25. Lauren
    February 11, 2010 2:06 pm

    @johnjake Is it against the law? Nope. Does it still prove why Ginny calls him Asshat? Yup.

  26. Rocky
    February 11, 2010 2:40 pm

    Why oh why did I follow the rabbit-trail today? Ginny should have put a FUGLY BEYOND ALL BELIEF! warning at the start of this post. (If I was Rothlesswhatever, I’d pour bleach in my own eyes).

  27. Carpetbagger
    February 11, 2010 4:30 pm

    Daddy like the cottage cheese.

  28. Kevin
    February 11, 2010 8:45 pm

    @Cmitch “. . .ho’s on the twitter.” The twitter! That is excellent!

  29. butcher's dog
    February 12, 2010 7:52 am

    GFSP=things ya learn when you’re not in school anymore!!!!! And the final picture in the queue is just wrong on a number of levels, regardless of how long it’s been circulating.

  30. Bob
    February 12, 2010 8:45 am


    I don’t even know (or care) about the GFSP episode or incident. How about the time he was busted getting stoned by the Mellon Arena? How about the fact that he has (fill in the blank) number of kids with (fill in the blank) women?

    My point isn’t really to disparage AssHat. My point is to express my belief that the Rooney family pretends that they are above reproach. And, trust me, that family is no better, and probably much more whacked, than yours.

  31. john jake
    February 12, 2010 11:39 am

    The Rooneys cut their feature back (Bam Morris) when he got caught with a trunk full of weed (that’s when they traded for Bettis) so it’s not like they’ve been afraid to discipline and make examples of starters.