Flipping off Mother Nature and her bastard snow children

You know what?  I’m sorry, okay?!  I’m SORRY!

I’m sorry I’m not loving all this snow and ice.  I’m sorry I’m not pleased that the icicles hanging from my house are large and long enough to impale and kill a wooly mammoth.  I’m sorry I’m not thrilled with the fact that I have to golf-club chop the ice from my satellite dish every morning.  I’m sorry I’m going to whine some more about the weather, but, seriously, ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS SNOWY SHIT, MOTHER NATURE?!

Do you see that, Mother Nature, if that’s indeed your REAL name?  The weather forecasters are so depressed they’re not even bothering to tell us what in particular the weather will be on Friday, but that we can bet our cold butts it will be “dreary.”

And I heard you’re dumping six additional inches of snow on us today and tomorrow, which will bring the total accumulation of snow for this February to 806 inches, and I’m NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING.

Will you not rest, Mother Nature, until the meteorologists, instead of placing words like “snow” or “flurries” or “cloudy” above the daily temperature highs, start placing words like “doom” and “doom-ier” and “Don’t bother getting out of bed” and “You might commit suicide this day?”

All right. I’ve said my piece.  I’m completely done ranting about the weather until tomorrow when I’m going to write in iambic pentameter a moving, gut-wrenching poem about how I forget what the sun looks like.





57 Comments


  1. Nay Nay
    February 15, 2010 11:29 am

    I think if we throw Al Gore over the side of the boat , the storms will stop. It’s at least worth a try.



  2. Jim Paek is my hero
    February 15, 2010 11:32 am

    All I can say is blame that knowing bastard rodent named Phil. If I have to deal with 4 more weeks of this depressing cold weather, I’m not sure what I will do, but it won’t be pretty. They need to shake him until he gives in and says “Okay Okay, I didn’t see my shadow, now put me back in my hole until I have to come out again next year and deliver the same depressing forecast.”



  3. PA Girl in VA
    February 15, 2010 11:36 am

    After meeting my husband, he brought me to Pittsburgh several times to visit his family. Finally, after 6 or 7 visits, we were in town one summer and the sun was shining very brightly. I turned to him and said, “You know what? In all the times we’ve come to Pittsburgh, I honestly don’t remember the sun ever coming out!”



  4. SpudMom
    February 15, 2010 11:37 am

    You have just called down the Four Horsemen of the Snowpocolypse. Just sayin’.

    Also, my son was born on March 3rd. That’s about two weeks from now and he’ll be one. On the day we brought him home it was 60 degrees outside. We’ll be lucky if it’s 6 this year.



  5. Elmer Fudd
    February 15, 2010 11:41 am

    I think Phil is pissed because you dissed his schtick with your Punxsutawney Polumalu post. Now he has set the weather gods on your ass..



  6. KGC
    February 15, 2010 12:02 pm

    2 weeks until I’m playing golf in the South for a week or more… which is where I intend to be full-time once daughter is out of College (1-1/2 yrs).



  7. Joe K.
    February 15, 2010 12:29 pm

    Bring it on. If it doesn’t kill you it will make you stronger.



  8. SusanV
    February 15, 2010 12:54 pm

    On the plus side… the colder it stays for longer the fewer BUGS we’ll have this summer…

    I know. That’s not really much consolation. Especially from me.

    Just imagine what my husband left in my driveway for me when I got home from Florida. (He’s in Germany.) It wasn’t/isn’t pretty and I (mother of a 2.75 year old and a 16 month old now pregnant with a third little devil) have to shovel it. ALL BY MYSELF.

    And the high temp of my entire “vacation” was 55 degrees.

    And my mom was feeding the F*N pigeons off our balcony!?! WTF?!

    EFF THIS WINTER.



  9. BIGGEORGE
    February 15, 2010 12:54 pm

    The days are getting longer!
    Suddenly there will be a bright sunny day smack dab in the middle of winter.
    I know, I have seen it happen!
    when that happens, you will know that winters is losing it’s grip.
    be patient, it is comming!!!!!



  10. Natural Red
    February 15, 2010 1:08 pm

    Ginny- are you all stocked up on milk, bread and tp?



  11. Betoon
    February 15, 2010 1:24 pm

    Poor Kevin Benson was struggling trying to explain that this was new snow on top of the old snow and there was even more snow coming. I think he should just start each broadcast with “ditto.”



  12. Carol
    February 15, 2010 1:35 pm

    I just read this and it made sense to me.

    “..rising temperatures warm the world’s bodies of water, leading to more evaporation..”

    Yay.

    http://articles.latimes.com/2010/feb/12/nation/la-na-climateqa12-2010feb12



  13. Alex
    February 15, 2010 1:41 pm

    Dactylic hexameter is really more conducive to epic verse!



  14. unsatisfied
    February 15, 2010 2:00 pm

    my soon-to-be sister-in-law and her family have been living up in alaska for 10 years. there came back late last week for a visit. and, they were all, “they closed the schools for a week?!? WTF for?!?”



  15. cathy
    February 15, 2010 2:20 pm

    @Unsatisfied – it is all a matter of perspective…
    @nay nay – If you turn off fox news and actually read Gore’s book – this would be totally expected… Global climate change is real and we are just seeing the tip of the iceberg..

    iambic pentameter – I can hardly wait…:-)



  16. Bojack
    February 15, 2010 3:11 pm

    @Cathy
    @Carol- “…pay no attention to that man behind the screen!”

    It’s OVER!!

    Cap and trade is DEAD!!!

    Sure, some goofballs in LA are grasping at straws, and anybody with $$ to still be made will claim “part of the plan”

    but here is the AUTHOR OF THE WHOLE F’ING SCAM!!! :

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1250872/Climategate-U-turn-Astonishment-scientist-centre-global-warming-email-row-admits-data-organised.html



  17. red pen mama
    February 15, 2010 3:19 pm

    @bojack, you’ve had to link to that exact same story twice now. Step away from the exclamation points key:

    http://www.factcheck.org/2009/12/climategate/

    Quick, Ginny, photos of shirtless men! Something to distract us from political ranting in your comments!



  18. Bojack
    February 15, 2010 3:25 pm

    Donald Trump Wants Al Gore’s Nobel Peace Prize Stripped

    http://newsbusters.org/blogs/noel-sheppard/2010/02/15/donald-trump-wants-al-gores-nobel-peace-prize-stripped

    You’re FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



  19. butcher's dog
    February 15, 2010 3:29 pm

    Frankly, I’m praying God lets me live long enough to get to tomorrow and the iambic pentameter. Unrhymed, please, Ginny to make it all the more Shakespearean.

    And, on a lighter note, the Myrtle Beach Marathon and Half-Marathon were cancelled on Saturday because of two inches of heavy, wet snow that fell overnight Friday into Saturday morning. Two inches! They had over 6,000 registered runners for the two events, each of whom paid between $85 and $110 in registration fees plus hotel accomodations. Needless to say, there were some really pissed-off people. Some of them went ahead and ran the whole course anyway, on their own.

    Can we now start to set the over/under on when the term “spring flooding” enters the news broadcasts? I’ll offer March 10 as the over/under date. I think I’ll put my money on the under, just for starters.



  20. Bojack
    February 15, 2010 3:30 pm

    @RedPen Mama-

    factcheck.org is a notoriously “in the tank” for Obama, who
    sat on the Annenberg foundation’s board!

    How about some facts for a change??



  21. Carol
    February 15, 2010 3:41 pm

    @Bojack

    “…pay no attention to that man behind the screen!

    It’s OVER!!”

    Shh..hush now….
    You forgot your meds again today, didn’t you?



  22. Bojack
    February 15, 2010 3:42 pm

    Pay YOUR $ to Al Gore.

    Shovel!!!

    Drink!!



  23. Bojack
    February 15, 2010 3:45 pm

    @butcher’s dog-

    Give me 5 yards on the under.



  24. Bojack
    February 15, 2010 3:47 pm

    Why are women soo much poorer losers than men??



  25. SpudMom
    February 15, 2010 3:51 pm

    WTEff, Bojack? What that really necessary?



  26. Bojack
    February 15, 2010 3:53 pm

    Just asking the hard questions Spuds! :-)



  27. JJ
    February 15, 2010 3:54 pm

    AMEN, girl!

    and believe it or not, i think it might actually be worse here in philly. we may not have had as many days of snow as the burgh, but we currently have over three feet of snow on the ground, and my street was never plowed, so its several inches of packed down icy snow. lovely.



  28. Political Party Pooper
    February 15, 2010 4:00 pm

    You’re not a winter gal, are you, Ginny? I just figured that out.



  29. Political Party Pooper
    February 15, 2010 4:01 pm

    But on a serious note, for all you ‘burghers, during the next snow fall, just stand in your driveway, shake your fist at Mother Nature, and yell, as loudly as you can, “Is that all you got!!!!!”



  30. Beth P
    February 15, 2010 4:22 pm

    Did anyone else watch the movie All Summer in a Day in school? Based on the Ray Bradbury story? I feel how that girl felt…no sun. Ever again. I don’t believe Steven Cropper when he says it is good that we aren’t having a quick thaw. Blah.



  31. Dan (Not Onarato)
    February 15, 2010 4:38 pm

    Come on now…the weather is cyclical…no global warming…every 15ish years or so we get a bad winter…after this we should be good until 2025. Think of it that way…

    2010-15= 1995 (Blizzard of 93 and then in 95)
    1995-15= 1980 (1977-78 was bad)
    1980-15= 1965 (Was just glimmer in my mamas eye at that point so I dont know)
    1965-15= 1950 (Snowiest year on record in Pittsburgh area)



  32. Bojack
    February 15, 2010 5:07 pm

    Ali Mo

    Looks hot

    In the snow



  33. red pen mama
    February 15, 2010 8:27 pm

    Hey, @bojack, you know we’re all fans of Ginny’s here. So please start your own political ranting blog (I said please!) with your version of the facts, and spew over there. Thanks.

    We’re not poor losers. it’s interesting you say factcheck.org is “for Obama” when they’ve been around a lot longer than his presidency.

    http://factcheck.org/about/

    Who cares what Donald Trump thinks about Al Gore? If he wants to get on the Nobel committee, let him try. Geez, Bojack, these institutions didn’t spring up overnight to accommodate people.

    http://www.ipcc.ch/

    If you want to deny climate change, that’s fine. Go right ahead. But if you want to learn more, it’s pretty sobering stuff.

    Peace.



  34. Political Party Pooper
    February 15, 2010 10:21 pm

    Bojack likes him some global warmings to go with his morning crumpets, which, despite what conservatives say, really do exist.

    Speaking only for myself, having lived in Wisconsin for 42 years, we could use some global warming.

    So I’ll tell you what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna talk to Ma Nature, and trade thirty degrees of our coldness to the sinking islands of the South Pacific, in exchange for thirty degrees of winter-only warming in the entire upper-midwest (we will move Pittsburgh to the newly formed Upper-Midwest Conference). Along with that, we will also accept a yearly tropical winter warming trend, to be named later, along with cash considerations, and a first and second round draft pick in the 2010 Ground Hog draft.

    But if you must talk about global warming, the site below is the best I’ve found for information on both sides of the issues.

    http://www.climatedebatedaily.com/



  35. Carly
    February 15, 2010 10:39 pm

    This is not inspiring confidence in my Floridian heart. I’m moving to Pittsburgh in June…



  36. cathy
    February 16, 2010 12:15 am

    @ Bojack – off
    After your insults to women, everything you say and do is going right into MOTHER natures female ears…



  37. Bojack
    February 16, 2010 6:15 am

    @RPM-

    FYI, there is an “I” on my voter registration card.

    I am not anti-green. Far from it.

    If there was any credible proof of global warming I would vigorously advocate, but the whole thing to date is a profit-based scam based on poor science.
    Any truths or legitimate concerns have been hijacked to politicize, polarize, and propel political agendas and greed with good science being the first, original victim.

    As far as politics goes, those who forcibly extricate cash from my (and your) pockets is local and relevant. When I question
    what our kids are or aren’t taught, why city pools are closed,
    why why streets aren’t clear, it’s because they are spend OUR cash.

    If you gave ME $x000’s of your families income wouldn’t you expect accountability? Of course you would.

    I am a judge of elections every May & Nov and I personally witness the apathy and complacency of our citizens. An average turnout is 17%. I find that obscene in a world where as we speak blood is being shed for the rights we can’t be bothered with or make time for.

    I challenge you to ask the next 10 people you encounter to name their federal Senators and Representatives, let alone their state counterparts. Yet these are the people who will bitch and whine, and swear it doesn’t matter, why vote?

    It DOES matter.

    Adolph Hitler was freely ELECTED by an educated and literate
    population who weren’t paying attention, and this was in my parents’ lifetime. The stakes are even higher now, and will be for our children.

    So, my biggest rant is this:

    I will always defend your (or anybody’s) right to hold an opinion on any issue which may differ from my own; but I will always rage at sheep-like, thoughtless, uninformed blind obedience to ANY particular person, party, or institution.

    I do apologize for the gender remark; I know plenty of male sore losers too, I was shamelessly just stirring the pot. :-)

    from “Men In Black” 1-

    Kay: A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it. Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you’ll know tomorrow.



  38. Elmer Fudd
    February 16, 2010 9:49 am

    Hey Bojack what makes you think just because you are a judge of election (a voluntery position that anyone can volenteer for after passing a background check) makes you think that no one else around here fights for their rights? I go to Harrisburg every year (275 miles on a motorcycle) and go to the state capitol and speak personally to my state reps. on the issues I feel is inportant. I know these people on a first name basis, know were ther offices are located and help campaign for or against them, depending if they support my issues or not. I vote in every primarary and general election. You brag about defending other peoples rights but shout down and curse at anyone whose opinion differs from your own. You support people like Sarah Palin who at the McCain palin rally in 2008 in beaver county while the crowd was shouting KILL THE N***** just stood there with a smirk on her face and did nothing to stop it. That pal, is fascism, the same think you profess to be against. And on another note. From one man to another, knock off with cursing at and verbally attacking women. I am sick of hearing it and in my opinion, Only a pussy attacks women like you do.



  39. Bojack
    February 16, 2010 10:20 am

    @ElmerFudd-

    OK, you wanna jump back into it idiot???

    1st, you moron, election judge is an elected post, or may be appointed if necessary! Ask at your polling place next time, or call the county!

    2nd- Sarah Palin is no more responsible for rascist shouting at an event than Obama’s “reverend” Wright’s unabashed white hate!

    3rd- I don’t attack women, I attack issues!!

    4th- Anywhere, anytime you spineless biker worm!



  40. Elmer Fudd
    February 16, 2010 10:25 am

    No Bojack, YOU are the idiot. I have ears and sarah palin DID say that. And you DO verbally attack women. all anyone has to do is read back in your posts. And as for anytime you crazy fuck, just name it!



  41. Bojack
    February 16, 2010 10:28 am

    @Elmer-

    PS- Good job on being in the 17%.



  42. Bojack
    February 16, 2010 10:30 am

    @Elmer-

    Oh? Now you’re claiming Palin said that??

    Is that what you’re claiming??



  43. Bojack
    February 16, 2010 10:40 am

    @Elmer-

    Give me a call. We can meet for coffee. 724-934-3905



  44. Elmer Fudd
    February 16, 2010 10:43 am

    Correction. Palin did not say that. As I stated before, the crowd said that. She did nothing to stop it.



  45. Bojack
    February 16, 2010 10:53 am

    Rev. Wright said the same things the other way at the church Obama belonged to for 20 years.

    Palin does not control who shows up, and it wasn’t a KKK rally,
    but Obama CHOSE that church.

    What’s your point?



  46. Bojack
    February 16, 2010 11:01 am

    @Elmer-

    Please allow me to conclude this exchange-

    There is no shortage of ignorance, hatred, and misinformation,
    across the board, unfortunately.

    THAT is what I am opposed to!

    Have a great day! :-)



  47. Monty
    February 16, 2010 11:11 am

    I hope this absurdity is a prelude to a dance-off.



  48. Tinare
    February 16, 2010 12:47 pm

    Monty wins!



  49. Joe K.
    February 16, 2010 12:56 pm

    @ Elmer:

    I was at the Palin rally at Beaver HS and I don’t remember anyone saying that. I was also far from the stage, so if people up front were saying it, I may not have heard.

    Something to think about with global warming: There’s a lot of money in saying that there’s a crisis and something needs to be done immediately. There’s no money in saying we’re just undergoing natural climate variations.



  50. Joe K.
    February 16, 2010 1:19 pm

    BTW Monty great suggestion. It should be to Lady GaGa music. Just Dance!