Good news, Steeler fans!
This fluffernutter-loving, jiggling, wiggling ball of nose-tackling blubber is ours for the next three years thanks to a deal he’ll sign with the Steelers.
Apparently by coming to terms with Casey Cabbage Patch Baby Cici Donna Hampton, the Steelers do not need to place the franchise tag on him, which we would talk about here if I had a freaking clue what that means. But I don’t. I never have. Even when I wiki it and even when people try to explain this “franchise tag” bullshit to me, I still couldn’t explain it to you without using fake words like “transinformplementational.”
It’s like my brain rejects this information. It absorbs information about snowboard cross rules, and how to make the perfect meatloaf, and even the mating habits of dinosaurs, but as soon as my brain hears “franchise tag,” it goes all, “LALALALALA- I CAN’T HEAR YOU!”
That said, the Post-Gazette reports that the Steelers will probably use their franchise tag on Jeff Reed, or that perhaps they’ll use their “transition” tag on him. And now my brain is all, “THERE’S A TRANSITION TAG, TOO?!?!”
Forget the stuff I don’t understand. There are two important simple things you need to know:
1. We’re going to have Casey Hampton and Jeff Reed around as blog fodder for at least another year.
2. Casey Hampton is fat; these guys are not.
Vintage Daniel Sepulveda and Tyler Grisham in their college days.
Where’s the “abpecbiceptasticnomnomizational” tag?