Fantamatasticitude

Good news, Steeler fans!

This fluffernutter-loving, jiggling, wiggling ball of nose-tackling blubber is ours for the next three years thanks to a deal he’ll sign with the Steelers.

Apparently by coming to terms with Casey Cabbage Patch Baby Cici Donna Hampton, the Steelers do not need to place the franchise tag on him, which we would talk about here if I had a freaking clue what that means.  But I don’t.  I never have.  Even when I wiki it and even when people try to explain this “franchise tag” bullshit to me, I still couldn’t explain it to you without using fake words like “transinformplementational.”

It’s like my brain rejects this information.  It absorbs information about snowboard cross rules, and how to make the perfect meatloaf, and even the mating habits of dinosaurs, but as soon as my brain hears “franchise tag,” it goes all, “LALALALALA- I CAN’T HEAR YOU!”

That said, the Post-Gazette reports that the Steelers will probably use their franchise tag on Jeff Reed, or that perhaps they’ll use their “transition” tag on him.  And now my brain is all, “THERE’S A TRANSITION TAG, TOO?!?!”

Forget the stuff I don’t understand.  There are two important simple things you need to know:

1.  We’re going to have Casey Hampton and Jeff Reed around as blog fodder for at least another year.

2.  Casey Hampton is fat; these guys are not.

Vintage Daniel Sepulveda and Tyler Grisham in their college days.

Where’s the “abpecbiceptasticnomnomizational” tag?





35 Comments

  1. Margie
    February 25, 2010 11:18 am

    thanks for making my mouth water and my tongue hang out a little this morning.



  2. TTG
    February 25, 2010 11:23 am

    that is just wrong…wrong wrong wrong….



  3. rickh
    February 25, 2010 11:29 am

    Please pass the eye bleach.



  4. Allison
    February 25, 2010 11:47 am

    Oh, dear God. That’s just not cool. I got all excited about Grisham and you throw that up first? That’s just wrong.



  5. Izzy
    February 25, 2010 11:48 am

    Bad, BAD, Ginny!



  6. Izzy
    February 25, 2010 11:49 am

    Oops, I agree on the Franchise tag thingie. And yesterday when I heard about the words “transition tag”; I just wept.



  7. gunnlino
    February 25, 2010 11:51 am

    I’d rather read this ( even w/ the revolting photo of Hampton ) than that B/S about those loser Pirates.



  8. Kathy
    February 25, 2010 11:51 am

    I was about to eat my lunch, and now I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.



  9. Mayor Luke Doggy Dogg
    February 25, 2010 11:53 am

    Damn Snax, couldn’t yo ass have shaved dem pubes?



  10. Summer
    February 25, 2010 11:55 am

    Could you most something — ANYTHING — else so the first thing you see when you come here isn’t Casey’s … uh, THAT!



  11. Niccolle
    February 25, 2010 12:02 pm

    Allison, I’m with you. I saw the tweet about a shirtless Tyler Grisham and I RAN over here only to have the first thing I see be the deep dark depths of CCPBCDH’s belly button.
    Thank goodness Ginny ended it on a much more pleasing note.



  12. Baba Wawa
    February 25, 2010 12:39 pm

    why do i have a feeling that if the Steelers ever did a nekkid calendar, casey would be all “i’ll do it!!”



  13. JJ
    February 25, 2010 12:44 pm

    That pic of Sepulveda is HOT!



  14. butcher's dog
    February 25, 2010 12:56 pm

    Annnnddddd…the estrogen cloud grows both in diameter and in density. As for Ginny starting off with Casey and finishing the way she did…how many of you eat dessert first? Which taste would you rather have lingering? Seriously, folks…the lady knows how to put the pics together.

    Transition tag means if someone throws obscene amounts of money at Skippy, the Stillers can pat him on the butt and wish him well. Franchise tag means the Stillers are the ones who must throw obscene amounts of money at him.

    No need to thank me.



  15. TripleC
    February 25, 2010 12:57 pm

    Awesome! More photos of shirtless men. Is this site sponsored by Cosmo magazine now?



  16. z
    February 25, 2010 1:04 pm

    Thanks for mouth-watering Daniel the other is okay too.



  17. Dan (Not Onarato)
    February 25, 2010 1:14 pm

    Like I need to see Fluffernutter without a shirt on…JEEZ….come on Ginny!

    Cant believe that he is our punter…



  18. red pen mama
    February 25, 2010 1:15 pm

    Tyler’s looking a little pixelated for some reason.

    Daniel is looking, uh. *blink*

    ++

    I think surly was the word I was looking for when my hormones overrode my brain.

    thanks.



  19. Still A Fan
    February 25, 2010 1:22 pm

    Lots of dough for aging 2 down out of shape dude. I hope he gets a little more fit over break like lose 3 or 4 …..pounds?



  20. Beth
    February 25, 2010 2:11 pm

    I think Casey’s belly is kind of cute. It makes me want to poke him!



  21. Leah
    February 25, 2010 3:38 pm

    “Abpecbiceptasticnomnomizational” will definitely be incorporated into my vocabulary! Somehow.



  22. bucdaddy
    February 25, 2010 3:43 pm

    “Franchise tag” is God’s revenge on people who mock the infield fly rule as being impenetrable.



  23. Michelle
    February 25, 2010 5:44 pm

    That last tag — that one I definitely understand. Nomnomnom.



  24. Bojack
    February 25, 2010 7:33 pm

    From the unflattering bevy of female-reader comments regarding Casey doesn’t this now mean it’s OK again to describe FAT chicks like Oprah and Kirstie Allie as FAT?? as opposed to the PC “big” girls??

    I’m just sayin’….



  25. JenOH
    February 25, 2010 7:36 pm

    “abpecbiceptasticnomnomizational” LMAO

    thanks for the laughs after a long day at work!



  26. Clementine
    February 25, 2010 7:53 pm

    ooohhhh, tyty and daniel nom nom nom…. RAWRRRR!!!!



  27. Winsome Lily
    February 25, 2010 7:58 pm

    Wait, were you saying something? All’s I can see are 6-packs.



  28. bucdaddy
    February 25, 2010 11:10 pm

    HELLO! ello ello ello lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo



  29. chrys
    February 26, 2010 12:32 am

    All that pops into my head when I see that pic of Casey hampton is Fat Bastard from the Austin Powers movie.. ” Get in my belly..” blech..

    As for the last 2 pics.. yummy!! Too bad Daniel has his shirt on.. :D And Tyler was definately channeling Christopher Atkins with that hair. :)



  30. spoon
    February 26, 2010 10:01 am

    bucdaddy, jesus christ can’t hit a curveball.



  31. Monty
    February 26, 2010 4:28 pm

    Moobs and pubes.



  32. susan
    February 26, 2010 9:39 pm

    I think I need to print out a copy of the blubber picture to put on the pantry door, right next to the girl scout cookies.



  33. Jmat
    February 27, 2010 9:34 pm

    Funny how the fat guys make the big money and are the stars of the team while the pretty boys with the abs are barely on the team and contribute very little…. other than giving women wet panties.



  34. Reg
    March 2, 2010 10:28 pm

    Daniel is perfection and tyler is another much needed male beefcake for the Steeler Nation! Maybe if all football players looked like the our yummy Tyler & Daniel the NFL would be a much better place!



  35. Janie Grisham
    May 7, 2010 8:07 pm

    Tyler is my nephew and he is darling. He is just as kind a person as he is goodlooking. He is a great role model for our children and his cousins. WE love him!!!!!