The second pep talk of the year.

Even the Buccos of Suckitude’s NAPKIN HOLDERS are optimistic!

This is a napkin holder in the lunch room down there at Bradenton where the Pirates are jibbooming and starboarding and avasting with all their might to turn the ship around.

If they have another losing season, I’d like to respectfully suggest that in the Spring of 2011, the napkin holders bear a plate that reads:

After the 18th consecutive losing season –

“Due to the rioting and the countless bags of flaming poo left at PNC Park,

I’m here to announce the sale of the team to Mario Lemieux.  Eff all y’all.”

-Bob Nutting

But that’s not going to be necessary, you know why?  BECAUSE THIS IS THE YEAR!


  1. unsatisfied
    March 1, 2010 4:45 pm

    there won’t be any rioting or poo — if that were going to happen, it would have happened by now.

    by the way — they’re still shitty.

  2. Elmer Fudd
    March 1, 2010 4:52 pm

    Home Grown Terrorists..

  3. Burgh Baby
    March 1, 2010 5:22 pm

    I’m still cheering for four more losing seasons. Then the Pirates losing streak will be old enough for me to purchase it a few adult drinks. Gotta keep the drunkification of the Pirates suckage legal, you know.

  4. bluzdude
    March 1, 2010 6:15 pm

    Nutting will never give up the goose that lays the golden goose-eggs.

  5. Clementine
    March 1, 2010 6:17 pm

    Shhhhh!!! Please don’t wake Garrett Jones. He’s dreaming about home runs. Lots and lots of home runs.

  6. Mayor Luke Doggy Dogg
    March 1, 2010 6:43 pm


    You iz smokin’ crack. The Pirates are gonna continue to suck more than a Pam Anderson home video. Fa shizzle.

    It’s some bullshit that fans of tha suckos get their hopes up for a .500 season n’ shit…know what I’m sayin?

    Bob “Jizz”ing sucks balls.

  7. Luke Steelerstahl
    March 1, 2010 7:07 pm

    If Pittsburgh residents rioted and flung poop based on crappy performances, well, I think I’d be in trouble.

    If the City raises the amusement tax on attending a Pirates game, would anyone notice?

  8. Donncha
    March 1, 2010 7:34 pm

    It is well to remember that many people survived the Titanic.

  9. Hutch Jr.
    March 1, 2010 8:41 pm

    hahahahaha, actually I had partial season tickets for about four years or so when PNC park went up and I still love my Bucs, but I had to tell the sales rep that called me tonight that I wasn’t interested until they got serious. sad

  10. Bill
    March 2, 2010 7:18 am

    The bottom line is the Pirates Suck ! But as long as people support them, they will not make the needed changes to be competitive.

    This is a dark-horse for PGH.

  11. Magnus Patris
    March 2, 2010 10:02 am

    Maybe Mario Lemieux can buy all of Pittsburgh and trade Luke for a 82nd round draft choice. “Lemiuexburgh”. I like the sound of that. ‘Course on the down side we’d all have to learn French. “Le Buccos de baseball, le pew!”

  12. Magnus Patris
    March 2, 2010 10:04 am

    Yes I spelled “Lemieuxburgh” wrong. Le dope.

  13. JenEngland
    March 2, 2010 1:55 pm

    Did you ever notice that when people break records, they JUST beat them? The records are records for a reason. Well, we JUST beat the record for losing seasons, so that means, logically speaking, that this IS the year!