Blue pill. Red pill.

As you know, despite the Buccos of Suckitude’s ability to stuff more suck into one baseball season than seems humanly possible — the clown car of baseball suck, if you will, I still believe every year is the year that they will finally play at or better than .500 ball.

Every year Burgh Baby laughs grimly at my sad Pollyanna hopefulness and counts down the days until I angrily kablooey the bandwagon and vow never to care about baseball again.

This year is no exception.  I’ve already professed my optimism for this season.  I’ve rebuilt this here rickety bandwagon and I’m racing this thing up and down the streets of Pittsburgh recruiting other Pollyannas to join me in believing that THIS IS FINALLY THE FRICKIN’ YEAR.

Burgh Baby has already done that thing she does:

Hell, even my future best friend David Conrad wrote, when I asked him if he was on my side of this Will They or Won’t They argument:

Getting excited about the Pirates maybe playing .500 ball is like getting excited that Stalin is only gonna jail your neighbors.

HE INVOKED THE NAME OF STALIN, that’s how much he is NOT on my bandwagon.  In fact, I’m pretty sure if he saw my bandwagon heading his way, he’d try to throw down spike strips to disable my wheels.  I love David, but not enough to give up my rose-colored Pollyanna Sunglasses of Deranged Baseball Optimism.

Last week, Burgh Baby approached me with the idea of a baseball blog contest for our respective charities, mine being Make Room for Kids and hers being Christmas Crazy for Kids, which provides Christmas gifts to needy children in Pittsburgh.

Just like that, Make Room for Crazy was born.

The idea is this.  If you’re so motivated, you are going to pick a side.  My side is the THIS IS THE YEAR! side and her side is the THIS IS NOT THE YEAR! side.  The donation to choose a side is $5 and we will put all of the donations into the pot.  At the end of the season (or possibly sooner if they are statistically eliminated from reaching .500 ball), the winner’s charity will get 75% of the pot and the loser’s will get the remaining 25%.

But that’s not all, she screeches in her best Billy Mays voice, if you enter your $5 for the winning side of this equation, your name will be entered into a random drawing for lots of awesome prizes like gift cards and other things that Burgh Baby and I will acquire for free using our very awesome powers of persuasion and possibly The Force, Jedi Mind Tricks, and Vulcan Mind Melds.  I’m going to bug some local sporty dudes for autographed items, too.  We’ll keep you posted as we accumulate prizes for the drawing.

Please only pick ONE side, but once you pick that side, you can enter as many times as you’d like.  So if you’d like to make a $20 donation, go ahead and do that via four entries into the contest. Yes, I just did math.  Be impressed.

The reason I’m making you pick a side instead of just donating to both sides is because, come on, GROW SOME COJONES AND PICK A SIDE!  You are either on my side or on her side.  You don’t get to be Switzerland.

And if you pick her side, may a pigeon peck out your eyeballs, your eardrums and your tongue out so that I’ll know you by the deaf blind mute that you become.

I kid.  I completely get that I’m on the risky side of this contest.  But remember, kids:  They can’t lose forever and my bandwagon has margaritas, burritos, hot babes, shirtless football players, playful puppies, a billion dollars in cash on board, and we don’t brake for pigeons.

PICK A SIDE and click to be whisked away to the proper PayPal page:



The artwork for Make Room for Crazy comes to our courtesy of the talented Rachel Sager.





37 Comments

  1. Al
    March 8, 2010 3:55 pm

    I’m in for $5. Betting against the Pirates is easy money. It’s like betting on the storm in “Snow vs. Lukey”.



  2. Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl
    March 8, 2010 4:00 pm

    I’m with you Ginny. I believe this every year and am not a bandwagon fan in any respect. I’m for all of my Pittsburgh teams, but go further with the Buccos! I’ve been a season ticket holder since I graduated from college (almost 20 years) and haven’t lived in Pittsburgh since 1998.



  3. JMWander
    March 8, 2010 4:07 pm

    I’m leaving this same comment here and at Burghbaby’s blog:
    This little contest of yours is, of course, tearing at the affections of those of us who love both of you. But root against my home team? The team my idol, Roberto Clemente, played for? Just can’t do it. I’m following my heart, not my head. (After all, that’s what usually gets me in trouble anyway.) Save me a seat on the Bucco bandwagon.



  4. spoon
    March 8, 2010 4:09 pm

    So if I bet for BurghBaby I’m betting against the Pirates to have a winning season. I’d WANT the Pirates to lose. Then again I KNOW they’re going to lose so I guess I’m not encouraging demise if it happens anyway.

    Betting against Ginny though would have my eyes plucked out…

    On the other hand I see BurghBaby more than I do Ginny so there’s a personal safety issue when I play softball. I guess Ginny could join Yinz Team softball but then that could start a whole “who’s side of the diamond is better” and I don’t think @shireman is ready for that tension.

    decisions decisions…

    Maybe I’ll have Lushie give to one and I’ll do the other but we wont say who is who.



  5. red pen mama
    March 8, 2010 4:28 pm

    Just purely out of speculation, what if you care not a whit for baseball, and don’t care what the Pirates do? Does that default to “not the year”? Or can I put $5 (or $20) in the pot for “Who cares? It’s for SICK KIDS!”

    I’m going to be accused of copping out, or of giving others a way to cop out, but just like there are some people out there who don’t care about NFL football or NHL hockey (and I don’t know who those crazy people are, for the record), I do not care about MLB.

    I throw myself on Ginny’s and Burgh’s tender mercies, and those of their commenters.



  6. Virginia
    March 8, 2010 4:38 pm

    rpm,

    Flip a coin, girl. You gotta pick a side.



  7. Bram R
    March 8, 2010 4:40 pm

    I pity the charity for “Yes This Is The Year”. They’re going to get their hopes up in May when the Pirates are 8-12, and on a 2 game winning streak. BUDGET FOR THE 25% POT IN ADVANCE. Meanwhile, “No This Isn’t The Year” can go ahead leaf through the Sears catalogue and watch Penguin hockey like any sane person.

    So yes, mark me down for NTITY.



  8. Big John
    March 8, 2010 4:52 pm

    I have to side with Ginny here. I refuse to accept that the Bucs might be the worst professional sports team ever. Anywhere. In my little utopia, those words can never be said of a team from the ‘Burgh. Maybe Cleveland.



  9. Boones Farm
    March 8, 2010 5:01 pm

    I’m betting on the Pirates. There, they got their chance. Now go out and show us what you’re made of.



  10. pghrugbyangel
    March 8, 2010 5:04 pm

    Oh dear. What’s worse? Ginny and her pigeon attack or BurghBaby training the Bully to attack me for real this time? And there’s the whole Yinz Softball issue, like Spoon said. That’s a whole extra personal safety issue there.

    I’m scared. But I don’t really care about baseball, and I don’t like the Nuttings.

    So, No This is NOT the Year.

    Excuse me while I now go hide from the impending pigeon attack in a closet.



  11. katsbynp
    March 8, 2010 5:47 pm

    This is an easy choice..I am with Ginny and will gladly jump on the bandwagon. I know I am voting with my heart not my head but I have always been accused of being the eternal optimist.

    Sorry Burgh Baby you are going to lose this time



  12. tehamy
    March 8, 2010 5:48 pm

    OK, so I admit it, I originally thought that it wasn’t fair that I was going to have to choose between two of my favorite bloggers, but it’s an easy choice. Sorry, Ginny, I have to side with Michelle on this one. It’s not the year.

    Also wanted to point out that if you *really* thought that it was the Pirates’ year, you would have also mentioned that the contest could end when the Pirates had enough wins to guarantee that they would finish this season with a record of .500 or better.



  13. Summer
    March 8, 2010 8:25 pm

    Yeah … but does your bandwagon have shirtless *hockey* players? Daniel notwithstanding, the Pens have some cute guys. I wouldn’t spit on McCutcheon, either. Give a girl a choice outside of football, please.



  14. KGC
    March 8, 2010 8:31 pm

    This. Is. Not. The. Year.

    Easiest (and safest) $5 bet. Eeeeevvaaah.



  15. Bojack
    March 8, 2010 10:14 pm

    Sorry.

    I just can’t ride that bus all the way dahntahn.

    Going with the under, in for $5.

    Curse the Nuttings.



  16. Pittsburgh Tom
    March 8, 2010 10:15 pm

    For those who can’t choose which, like rpm, might I suggest to go with the less popular choice so you have a better chance at a random drawing.
    The important thing is to donate.



  17. Greg
    March 9, 2010 5:52 am

    Every year, a friend and I have a bet of 1 beer per game, I get the Pirates. SO, at the end of the season, I have to buy him a beer for each game under 500. After buying MANY beers, we decided to cap it to 1 case. Then, we decided call the bet at the trading deadline. I still have NEVER won a single beer. In an effort to allow me to a break, this year, if Pirates are even 1 game over 500, I get a whole case of beer, but I get the break if they are close.

    Guess which side I will be taking?



  18. Lisa J
    March 9, 2010 6:45 am

    Sorry Ginny, but I’m team Burgh Baby. But at least now I know why, when I left work yesterday, there were pigeons swarming over head. Good thing I’m a great aim with the BB gun.



  19. Bojack
    March 9, 2010 7:25 am

    No way!!!!



  20. butcher's dog
    March 9, 2010 7:42 am

    To see how it could happen, read “The Whistling Irishman: Danny Murtaugh Remembered”. It’s by his granddaughter, Colleen Hroncich, and it’s scheduled for release on St. Patrick’s Day. I’m tellin’ ya…it’s a blueprint for return to glory. It’s uplifting. And Colleen is a former student of mine who’s done a bang-up job of research and writing.

    This is the year. Don’t know nothin’ ’bout no burghbaby.



  21. Joe K.
    March 9, 2010 8:42 am

    This is the year. I’m doubling down and putting in $10.



  22. unsatisfied
    March 9, 2010 9:18 am

    they’re still shitty.



  23. Politicalpartypooper
    March 9, 2010 9:27 am

    Red Pen Mama,

    “Just purely out of speculation, what if you care not a whit for baseball,”

    Blasphemer!

    No one feels that way! This type of talk is just code for, “My team sucks so I’m not going to care what happens to them! Sniff, sniffle, sniff, sniff.”

    Sorry. You can’t stop loving them by saying “I’m not going to feel anything anymore!” It doesn’t work. Baseball is life. You know it.

    I know you’ve been hurt by your team, that you feel perpetually let down. I know you are afraid that if you CARE again, you’re only going to get hurt. You can’t live that way. You can’t live without baseball, and without a favorite team. Like a junkie, you jkust can’t stay away, BECAUSE you love them! The science is finished on that. ;)

    I’ll take a five dollar bet that those who are on the “The Pirates will definitely still suck this year” bandwagon will still be cheering for them anyway.



  24. red pen mama
    March 9, 2010 10:41 am

    Coin flipped. Heads, They’re gonna do it; tails they’re not gonna do it. Heads won, 3 out of 5. Guess I’m on Ginny’s bandwagon.

    I don’t actually have to pay attention to baseball now, though, do I? ;)

    @politicalpartypooper, no, really, never did the baseball fan thing. Which is not to say that I haven’t had a couple nice evenings at PNC Park. My attention span can’t take long seasons (I only tune into hockey once football is over).

    Great, now all my dirty sports laundry is out there!



  25. Dave
    March 9, 2010 10:52 am

    I loved the Pirates as a kid. I loved baseball as a kid. I loved going to Three Rivers Stadium and eating peanuts in the shell while watching the Pirates play baseball as a kid.

    Now? I wish I had $10,000 to donate to the NO, THIS IS *NOT* THE YEAR fund.

    The Pirates aren’t even worth enough of my attention anymore to keep track of if they are doing well or not. I already know ahead of time that they won’t be doing well by the end of the season. Now, when others mention the Pirates, I just respond with, “The who? We don’t have a baseball team.”



  26. rickh
    March 9, 2010 11:12 am

    Let’s Go Bucs! I’m in for a YES. Can’t wait to get to the ballpark next month.

    Will you be posting a real time counter to see the progress?



  27. Burgh Baby
    March 9, 2010 8:40 pm

    @politicalpartypooper–You’re kind of right. While I personally won’t be cheering for them one way or the other, I would love to be wrong. It would truly be fantastic if this were finally the year.

    But it won’t be.



  28. FireMom
    March 10, 2010 8:12 am

    I have to go with Yes, despite my love of my Burgh Baby. Also, inform her that she owes me cookies if they lose. Or win even. She just owes me cookies. Donating now.

    Would also like to put a graphic on my sidebar but those are hugetastic! Is it acceptable to resize?



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  30. Uncle Crappy
    March 10, 2010 11:41 am

    As a Browns fan, I know what it’s like to start each season with hopes, however unreasonable they may be, that this year is going to be different. And I know how it feels halfway through the season, when those hopes have been crushed yet again.

    Ginny, I really hope you’re right. But I’ve got five bucks that says you’re not.



  31. Dana
    March 10, 2010 1:08 pm

    five bucks says that we don’t have to set the bandwagon on fire this year. I say YES!, mainly because of Garrett Jones and his hotness. I’ll roast my marshmallows on him instead, tyvm.



  32. SC 'Burgher
    March 10, 2010 3:37 pm

    @ unsatisfied – Thanks for the “Major League” reference.



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  35. DottyEyes
    March 30, 2010 10:48 am

    Sorry, but I take this baseball stuff seriously. And I have it from a source that I’m not at Liberty Avenue to reveal, but it won’t be until 2012. So here’s my five Sucky Bucs on “not yet.” Hey, Ginny, don’t write “last week” in your blog if the blog is undated. Also, statistically speaking, the first eight games (even tho managers always say, “The season is early when they’ve lost the first seven games out of eight”) are startlingly accurate predictors of a team’s season. So in April, we’ll probably have a good idea of how this will play out!



  36. Virginia
    March 30, 2010 10:54 am

    DottyEyes,

    My blog is dated. See the bottom of every single post.



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