Dear Benny,

Oh my God, I can’t believe I’m writing you another freaking letter about a sexual assault allegation.

What in the hell is wrong with you?

And please, I don’t mean that as, “What in the hell is wrong with you that you sexually assaulted a young college student,” which, if you did, may your penis shrivel up and fall off.  No, I mean, “What in the hell is wrong with you that you do not take a stronger hold on the charmed life you have, but instead seem content to let it slip away as a result of your vices and/or gross stupidity?”

Am I saying you assaulted this girl?  No.

Am I saying you DIDN’T assault this girl? No.

I don’t think at this point we can truly take a side on the veracity of the claim.  There’s not enough evidence yet.  It’s possible she’s crying wolf.  It’s also possible that you are a perverted, sexually violent wolf.  If you want us to look at her and say, “Maybe she’s lying,” then you must also agree that we should look at you and say, “Maybe he did it.”

We don’t know.  We might never know.

But here’s what we do know.  With a sexual assault accusation already hanging over your head, be it true or false, you never should have put yourself in the position to have this new accusation thrown at you.  What this new accusation does is essentially take the first accusation, which was sinking under the weight of a less-than-stable seemingly opportunistic accuser, and shores that first accusation up.  Strengthens it.  Plugs some holes.  Gives it just enough of an injection of air to make us look at it again as it rises above the surface of the water. Hey look at that thing right there.  That thing I turned away from and said, nah, that’s just a crazy lady who wants money.  Look at that thing floating on the water.  It looks different now.

I don’t think there’s a one of us who isn’t looking at that thing with new eyes. That isn’t wondering if possibly, if maybe, just maybe, you have trouble taking no for an answer.

I get it.  You’re a man.  A wealthy young man.  Then go out to the bars.  Have a blast.  Buy a round for everyone in the place if you’d like. Laugh. Shoot pool.  Spend your money. Tip big. But for the love of God, don’t go anywhere alone with a woman you just met.  Don’t disappear to the bathroom with a 20-year-old you spent the night bar-hopping with. Hire a chaperon to be with you at all times when you’re out partying.  Don’t get drunk in public.  Don’t be a douchebag.  Don’t traipse around town with your posse like you’re Ed Hardy’s gift to our eyes.

You might ask, why do I have to live by these rules?  Woe is me that I have a target on my forehead and all the opportunistic money-hungry girls are aiming for it.   And who made me a role model?  Why can’t I just do what I want and drink and have some sex with girls I just met?  Why do I have to be so careful?

I’ll tell you why.  Because you run a football camp for kids.  Because you agreed to abide by the terms of the NFL’s Code of Conduct.  Because you are paid millions and millions of dollars and that should be enough money to enjoy your vices in private.  Because you have an entire football organization partially resting on your shoulders and it helps if you can keep those shoulders out of jail, or at the very least off of TMZ.

So what now?  Do you hold that same press conference where you enter the room with a heavy sigh and tell us with a wavering voice and tears in your eyes that you’re sorry for the “distraction” and that these allegations are completely 100% false and that you’ll fight them until the truth comes out?  I don’t speak for Steeler Nation, but I don’t want to hear it again. Save it for your family.

I don’t know.  I’m like, kinda done with you.  I can’t look at you the same.  Before, you were just a fug, gross schmuck who I heard lots of nasty rumors about, but who seemed to have a generous heart and who, despite a knack for holding on to a football way too long after the pocket collapsed, could capably throw well enough to win two Super Bowls.  Now, with this second accusation, you’re a fug, gross schmuck with less smarts than a dog turd and less self-control than a spastic colon, who might have actually sexually assaulted a woman and who hired Ray Lewis’ murder-rap lawyer to defend him.

Unless this accuser completely reverses course and admits you never non-consensually touched her, consider the rest of your public life asterisked and when we scroll down to the footnote it will say, “*Twice-accused of sexual assault. But he throws a hell of a fade.”

I can’t speak for others, but for me, no amount of football-tossing brilliance will ever erase the shadows this second accusation has cast over your character, or the very bright light it has shone on your stupidity, or the very permanent edits it will generate to your Wikipedia page.




  1. Mac S.
    March 10, 2010 9:07 am

    Strawman argument Bojack – and anyone else saying that a 28-year-old professional football player with millions of dollars, handlers, agents, bodyguards, etc, etc should be excused for his repeated instances of poor judgment and entitlement attitude because *gasp* daring to say you don’t like him because of said pattern now is equal to saying “she deserves what she got”.

  2. Bojack
    March 10, 2010 9:24 am

    @Mac S.-

    Read it again, more S-L-O-W-L-Y,

    Mac S. wrote- “…of his repeated instances of poor judgement….”

    He has EVERY right, the SAME right, to be out at the same venue, drinking as she did!

    To say HE used POOR judgement and is therefore somehow at fault is EQUAL TO saying SHE used POOR judgement and ‘asked for it!’
    poor judgement.

  3. NewBurgher
    March 10, 2010 9:36 am

    Ginny – please write about pigeons … please?

  4. Mac S.
    March 10, 2010 9:58 am

    Bojack, per the norm, missing the point AGAIN-

    RE- READ SLOOOOWWWLLLLY I wrote: “daring to say you don’t like him because of said pattern now is equal to saying “she deserves what she got”

    See, you ignore the argument and attack a false equivalent = Strawman.

  5. H
    March 10, 2010 10:07 am

    @Trish –
    Ben was in Atlanta celebrating his brithday just two days before this happened, so that should blow your big-fish-small-pond theory. He was in Milledgeville that night because he has a vacation home nearby.

    He takes bodyguards with him when he goes out because some nutjob shoved a gun in his face when he was leaving a bar his rookie season.

    But by all means, ignore common sense and keep throwing stones. I know that seems to be every Ben-haters favorite pastime right now, so I wouldn’t want you to be deprived.

  6. Lauren
    March 10, 2010 10:10 am

    There’s a difference between a 20 year old college student out at a bar partying at 2 a.m. and a 28 year old MULTI-MILLIONAIRE quarterback with a PENDING SEXUAL ASSAULT CASE being out at a bar partying at 2 a.m. It’s called maturity, and it’s the big reason why a lot of people here are disappointed in Ben. They’re not making any judgments about guilt or innocence, they’re upset that Ben has found himself in this situation AGAIN because he still thinks he’s in college and that he’s God’s gift to humanity.

    I don’t care what the girl did, how she was dressed, or how illegal her presence in the bar was. Ben put himself into a situation that a 28 year old with his responsibilities (and yes, he has them, I’m sure they’re written into his contract)should not be in. This girl doesn’t have his pay grade, nor his responsibilities. To equate the two of them (well, to equate ANY 20 year old to a 28 year old) makes no sense.

  7. bucdaddy
    March 10, 2010 10:14 am

    Virginia et. al.,

    You may have missed my point under the sarcasm. In my ludicrous example, I may not have ASKED to get beaten and robbed — of course I didn’t — but my DRESS and my BEHAVIOR and my sheer STUPIDITY put me in an extreme position where something very bad happened to me. I can say I’m a “victim” in much the same sense as some chick who winds up in a bar bathroom with a 6-4, 280-pound jock, and it’s true, I am. But you know what? If I put myself IN that position, then how much is MY responsibility for what happens to ME?

    Just like y’all are going on and on about how Bennie OUGHT to have more sense than to hang out in college bars, I OUGHT to have more sense than take my Rolex and my Jag into Neighborhood X AND girls who dress slutty and hang out in slutty bars and wind up in restrooms with huge jocks OUGHT to have more sense.

    To state it plainly: If you DON’T want to get raped (who does?) or accused of rape (who does?) and if you DON’T want to get beaten and robbed (who does?), there are ways to dress and places to go and ways to behave that minimize the possibility that you will wind up the victim of a crime. If you choose to ignore that, then you must accept SOME personal responsibility, however small, for what happens to you.

    That does NOT equate with “asking for it,” but it sure equates with “what the hell were you thinking?” And if you feel free to ask that of Bennie, why is it not OK to ask that of the girl?

  8. Monty
    March 10, 2010 10:17 am

    Getting drunk and having consensual sex = not a crime

    Raping someone in a bathroom = crime

    I assume we can all agree that if he raped her, he should go to prison.

    But everyone is getting caught up in the “asking for it” argument. I can’t believe anyone here really believes that how she dressed or whether she drank at the age of 20 is relevant to whether a crime was committed. Rather, it’s been raised in a somewhat ham-handed attempt to draw a parallel to whether BR should be pre-judged (i.e., if she can be excused for exercising bad judgment, then why can’t he). There is perhaps some merit to the argument (and it is of course predicated on no crime having been committed), but let’s be honest, we’re dealing with an unbelievably incendiary issue on a blog run by a woman and populated by masses of women and attempting to draw awkward parallels like is only going to incite negative visceral reactions.

    And, frankly, what is the point? Anyone arguing that people shouldn’t make conclusions without knowing the facts is being more than a bit naive. People are going to make assumptions based on a variety of factors, including gender, personal experiences, religion, etc. That’s a fact of life. I think Michael Jackson was a pedophile. I recognize that wasn’t proven in court. But it doesn’t mean I still don’t think the guy was a complete creep and, in my heart of hearts, I think he molested children. Of course I may be wrong, but you can’t convince me of that. You can’t convince someone that their instincts are wrong without cold hard facts, and the odds of ever getting cold hard facts regarding a potential crime like this are slim to non. Not going to happen. So, even if he didn’t do it, this will turn some people against him. Those feelings can’t be invalidated based on what anyone else is going to say, especially over the internet. It is what it is. Spending energy on trying to convince someone to change their opinion of someone else is completely futile. And now everyone is amped up over a bunch of typed words.

    This whole topic needs an enema so we can move on.

  9. Kat
    March 10, 2010 10:21 am

    My gut check on this – I call bullshit. I would be willing to bet my Louis Vuitton on the fact that whatever happened in that bathroom was not a crime. Who hasn’t at some point in there 20s had a little (or wanted to have a little) bathroom fun?? Add the fact that she is 20 yet still at a bar (in a wristband – sure) and is partying it up with a celeb pro-baller?? Come on. If it wasn’t Ben then this thing would have been done over the weekend. These are not the kinds of cases that anything ever comes of.

    I am not saying blame the victim, I am just saying that if it doesn’t look like a victim or smell like a victim, then it probably isn’t a victim. Let’s all just get over it.

    His hiring a lawyer should not to be taken as anything more than prudent. If Ben were your younger brother you would want the biggest baddest attorney you could buy too. No matter what his client roster.

  10. unsatisfied
    March 10, 2010 10:59 am

    is ben guilty of this crime?

    I don’t know.

    did this young lady make a false claim?

    I don’t know.

    what I do know is that if ben is guilty of anything, it was wearing that douchebag shirt.

  11. toni
    March 10, 2010 11:23 am

    Dera Stan….they are taking DNA…ie body fluids were spilt. For reference read up on Monica Lewinsky’s blue dress. Clintons weapon of choice was a cigar with Monica as a humidor…tho THAT was consensual. Or did you also believe that body fluids + cigar = “I did not have sex with that woman”???

  12. Scott
    March 10, 2010 11:28 am


    You have way too much time on your hands.

    Also, suggest you speak with your physician about tweaking the meds a bit. They don’t appear to be working as intended.

    Finally, your long-winded diatribe apology from the other day doesn’t hold much water when you flame the boards a day later with a baker’s dozen of your trademark observations.

    Google Scott R. Priester.

  13. Pittsburgh Perambulations
    March 10, 2010 12:29 pm

    Oh my gosh, I think there should have been a comment moderation enabled on this post.

    I was going to leave a short statement about the concept of “being above reproach,” and the inevitable position of being a role model when in the public spotlight.

    But instead I just want to look at half of these commenters and in light of not what your position is but how you are arguing it, I just want to say:

    Shame on you.

  14. Art
    March 10, 2010 12:42 pm

    Just to add, the False Rape Society blog links directly to this post.

  15. BethH
    March 10, 2010 12:52 pm

    I had the opportunity to observe up close and personal the athlete/party circuit for about a year…and one thing never ceased to amaze me: The guys (married and single) who were looking for action made EVERY effort to make sure there was nothing misconstrued between them and a potential hook-up. More than one of these athletes/sports media people actually had the woman he was intending to hook up with in the very near future talk with someone in his entourage and CONFIRM what she was going to do and give that person her contact information; the entourage person usually gave her his number too, as if to vouch for his boy. Obviously, not foolproof, but it’s something more than most people do. I’ve also witnessed more than once friends of athletes tell their stud-athlete-friend that the woman he was with was too drunk and actually had the woman removed from the area or the party or the hotel — much to the athlete’s disappointment (and, in one instance, resulting in a punch to the face of the friend). I also am aware of times when the athlete would actually ask someone else to be IN the car or the bathroom or the hotel room or kitchen or wherever — just to have a “witness”. In fact, I was on a date with a guy who was part of a group of athletes, and one of his athlete friends asked him to do just this — be a “witness” — so we did…and it was stunning to me that the girl okayed this (though maybe having a female in the room helped?), and to this day I still don’t know how I feel about playing that role, but I have to hand it to the athlete — savvy move. I asked the guy what he would’ve done if his friend had started to get out of line…and he said without hesitation that he would’ve stopped him — and apparently had more than once when things got “questionable.”

    I certainly have no knowledge of this case, but I can tell you that if Ben had asked any of his football or other sports brethren, he would’ve received A LOT of advice about how to avoid what, at the very best for him, is a he said/she said thing beyond being told “don’t go to college bars,” which, frankly, isn’t going to work. Whoever was with him that night should be feeling very, very ashamed as well (I’m looking at you Willie Colon…)

  16. Carol
    March 10, 2010 12:54 pm

    @139 Tehamy: Absolutely agreed. Very good post.

    @163 Pittsburgh Perambulations:
    “I just want to look at half of these commenters and in light of not what your position is but how you are arguing it, I just want to say:

    Shame on you.”


  17. JenEngland
    March 10, 2010 1:47 pm

    Sigh, I was trying to resist joining in. BUT…
    I have to (gasp-believe me I”m as shocked as anyone) agree with one thing bojackass has said, and that is that a false rape accusation/conviction is devastating–as devastating in some cases as actual rape. An innocent person spending a decade or more in prison is a terrible, terrible thing. Rape has also been an accusation used historically to punish African American men for acting “above their station” and has resulted in many lynchings. So its not something to be taken lightly when it happens. And that is my feminist opinion, so you can cut the man hating BS talk to discredit all opinions that don’t jibe with yours Bojack.


    However, as others have pointed out, to bring up false rape accusations as a way to mitigate this woman’s claims is really a false analogy. I’m going to quote Newsweek Blogger for this one: “I could understand this kind of caveat if what happened at Duke in 2006 were the tip of the iceberg, not an aberration in a year when the FBI determined that 92,455 forcible rapes had occurred—a number most agree is too low due to underreporting.” So just because there are false rape accusations doesn’t negate the severity of the charge. Just as the fact that there are real rapes doesn’t negate the severity of the effect of false rape accusations. (And acquittal or failure to charge doesn’t mean a rape didn’t happen btw.)

    There is so much more to say, so many really good points have been made but ultimately as someone (bucdaddy?) said, it comes down to gut. Ben is forever tainted in my mind (I’ve honestly been pretty disillusioned with him based on the repeated reports that he doesn’t tip and expects freebees) and I think a lot of people feel the same way. Ginny has captured many of our unchecked gut reaction to this story. This may be the end of the gravy train for Ben simply because too many people are just too fed up with his BS.

  18. RJQ
    March 10, 2010 2:31 pm

    Here’s a story for ya’ll:

    Group of girls are out partying. One goes off with a guy she met that night. She engages in sex with the guy. Haze. Girl comes running to friends saying she was raped. Friends call police. Police take girl to hospital to administer rape kit. Hospital confirms sexual contact of some degree. Girl goes to police station with friends. Friends sit in separate room while friend makes statement. Police find guy. Guy is from good family with lots of money. Hours later, friends read girl’s statement. Girl recants her rape claim due to the fact that guy stopped within a time threshold (there is one in some states) of her saying to stop (the police explained the time threshold to her and she understood it, but we’d never heard of that before.) Guy goes free. Girl not charged. Was girl raped? According to the law, NO. According to her, YES.

    This girl was taken to the hospital, rape kit administered, and Ben suspected. I would be surprised if there was not sexual contact of some sort in Ben’s case. Neither the hospital nor the police would be involved. I’m not saying he’s guilty, but it doesn’t look good.

  19. JenEngland
    March 10, 2010 2:37 pm

    Oh, Pierce. Or whoever. You know who I’m talking to. Sorry 165 comments is a lot to keep track of. Oh it’s 2 ppl. Sorry. I have been trying to work but this discussion has been kicking around the back of my brain bothering me all day. I came back to post after reading most of it before work this morning.

    One other thing…

    The summer before my senior year in college a man entered my house and raped my room mate while I slept in the room next door. I woke up to police with their guns drawn searching my house. We left the door unlocked routinely, so he just walked in and walked back out. Two months later he broke-me having at least learned that lesson- in through the sliding door in back and tried to rape me. Stupid things we did: Leave the door open. Not bar the sliding door with the weak lock. Not move out (me, she actually did move out). Walk around our neighborhood at night, alone as if we were invincible. The knowledge that we “acted foolishly” or recklessly or whatever others call it, actually didn’t need to be pointed out to us. We knew. It made it worse. We understood that our youthful foolishness not only endangered us but ACTUALLY resulted in violence against us. This girl is no doubt wishing she made better choices or even just different choices. But, not to be trite, hind site is 20/20 and anyone who is lucky enough to survive all their foolish choices unscathed shouldn’t cast stones at those who don’t. The thing is though, you learn from your mistakes and become wiser and make better choices. What I think a lot of folks are saying is that regardless of the veracity of this charge, Ben probably should have learned from his original foolish choices and start to make some real big boy decisions now.

    Ok, back to work. Hopefully the demons of this discussion are now exercised from my brain…

  20. Xena
    March 10, 2010 5:07 pm

    I agree with everything Ginny said.

    But I also think that the fact the young woman’s family has hired an attorney looks a lot like they are lining up the civil suit–before there are any results from the criminal investigation. So I think that fact a least counterbalances the “Ray Lewis defense attorney” part of this debacle.

    For all the Ben defenders: only an idiot makes a habit of getting roaring drunk and having his entourage send “girls” that no one knows back to the party going on in the private room.

    For the people who think that a false rape accusation is nothing: tell that to the people who have done prison time because someone told a story that wasn’t true. False accusers are the ones who diminish the suffering of real sexual assault victims.

    And sexual assault may not equal “rape” or forcible penetration. I guess we just wait until we see what the police turn up. I do think it will help Ben that part of his entourage includes a police officer and a PA state trooper. That might tip the scales heavily into “he said, she said” territory. But at some point, Ben clearly needs a big consequences to get him to look at how he is living his life, because he’s throwing it all away. And frankly, I’d rather the team cut him loose if he’s not going to change his ways.

  21. Art
    March 10, 2010 5:38 pm

    I would like to add something regarding the family of the accuser highering a lawyer. The family’s lawyer is there (for now) to protect the identity of the girl. Many in Steeler Nation are angry, and have lashed out at Ben’s accuser. I believe some would even go as far as threaten her or her family (just take a trip to forums). While I believe Ben to be an immature douchebag, I am withholding my judgment at least until charges are filed.

    With that said, you must understand that the statement released by the accuser’s lawyers was a subtle reminder to the public in Milledgeville that Georgia has shield laws to protect the identity of rape victims. I am not saying Ben raped this girl, nor am I saying those are the charges he might face. I am saying that for now, the lawyers are requesting anonymity. Here is the pertinent law:

    “16-6-23. Publication of the name or identity of female raped or
    assaulted with intent to commit rape.
    (a) It shall be unlawful for any news media or any other person to
    print and publish, broadcast, televise, or disseminate through any other
    medium of public dissemination or cause to be printed or published,
    broadcast, televised, or disseminated in any newspaper, magazine,
    periodical, or other publication published in this state or through any
    radio or television broadcast originating in the state the name or
    identity of any female who may have been raped or upon whom an assault
    with intent to commit the offense of rape may have been made.
    (b) This Code section does not apply to truthful information disclosed
    in public court documents open to public inspection.
    (c) Any person or corporation violating this Code section shall be
    guilty of a misdemeanor.”

    This is why the university and sorority have acted to end the rumors being spread around the campus. They are covering their collective back sides, just in case.

    On the bright side, my wife and I have decided to make this latest accusation against Ben (coupled with the previous one in Reno) a learning experience with our 15 year old son. We gave him that talk two years ago, and this instance only brings home the fact that the decision to pursue sexual relations has lifetime consequences…be it the creation of new life, the contraction of a disease, or the legal consequence of being a sex offender.

    If you don’t want to be falsely accused, don’t dip you wick if you don’t know the chick. Communication should always come before foreplay.

  22. H
    March 10, 2010 5:45 pm

    @ Xena
    According to several interviews done by the media with others in the bars that night, Ben was not roaring drunk. There has actually been more than one article talking about how in control he actually seemed to be. Some bartenders have said that they served him alcohol, while others have said that he only drank water.

  23. DISAPPOINTED and Pi*#ed!
    March 10, 2010 9:48 pm

    Ben, B

  24. DISAPPOINTED and Pi*#ed!
    March 10, 2010 9:52 pm

    Ben, Ben, Benny, Benny Benny (Shaking my head)….well you let me down. You let my daughters down (ages 12 and 15) who have grown up believing Steeler Nation is about community and pride. More importantly you let your employers, teammates, and a city of fans down. I too am not passing judgment on your innocence or guilt. I am passing judgment on YOUR Judgment and Priorities!! I think we’ve given you one too many chances.

  25. Baraboo
    March 10, 2010 10:26 pm

    I just checked Ben’s site and forum to see if anything new might be up and being discussed and see the forum has been taken down.

    Doesn’t that kind of stuff just make him look more guilty?

  26. Bojack
    March 11, 2010 2:09 am


    Sure! Along with the current moon phase, and whether your dog happened to choose a bush on the the left side of the path instead of the right to pee, and today’s UV index, probly
    a GREAT indicator of guilt……..

    Do you drive a car?

  27. LaReina
    March 11, 2010 8:19 am

    What the effy, the Pa. taxpayers have been paying state troopers to serve as Benny’s “assistants”? They’re not bodyguards, so is that like wingmen?

  28. Dan (Not Onarato)
    March 11, 2010 9:41 am

    You can say what you want…stupid decisions…lack of judgement…youre disappointed in him etc etc etc and dont get me wrong I agree with that and think hes a total tool BUT, as sad as it is, he will be on the field in the fall because he can throw a football. Its really sad…bordering on pathetic.

    Also, you cant fault Willie Colon at all, but he couldnt protect Benny during the season from defensive linemen let alone a 20 year old sorority member…dont get me wrong…sorority chicks can be tough…

  29. Mary
    March 11, 2010 10:25 am

    My husband and I had a lengthy discussion about this with a fellow Steeler fan the other night, and you so perfectly captured the point we were trying to make.

    The whole thing is just…ugh.

  30. Sheila
    March 11, 2010 11:16 am

    agree with Dan(not Onorato)- if in the end this ends up against Ben (& I’m not saying that it will), lets harken back to the days of James Harrison & Cedrick Wilson assaulting their girlfriends/babymamas. Which one was let go by the Steelers and which one is still playing? Do you really think Harrison was spared b/c his girlfriend wouldn’t let their kid get baptized as Mr. Rooney so eloquently explained?!

    If this one needs to be explained it can be and Ben will stay. With a damaged reputation maybe but he will still be a Steeler.

  31. Dana
    March 11, 2010 2:16 pm

    CDAN got a shot in too, very much to Ginny’s sentiment.

  32. Natural Red
    March 11, 2010 2:39 pm

    Just wanted to point out that DNA can be obtained from other sources- such as skin, saliva, hair. There has been no mention by the police of where the DNA was found on the girl.

  33. Steverino
    March 11, 2010 3:14 pm

    Yuk. Even if whatever happened was consensual, the thought of that big oaf having anonymous sex with someone he just met screams pig. I hope he gets tested regularly for sexually transmitted diseases and infections. God knows how many women he might have infected.

    And no, he has no pivate life. He is paid a hundred million to entertain us. We paid for the Rooney’s playground on the North Shore, which made it possible for them to make even more money and to pay Skippy his oodles.

  34. Dan (Not Onarato)
    March 11, 2010 3:33 pm

    Guilty or not…hes come a long way since his “Play for Jesus” days hasnt he?

  35. Amadi
    March 11, 2010 4:16 pm

    Some rape apologist here said:

    If I put myself IN that position, then how much is MY responsibility for what happens to ME?

    It’s irrelevant. If this girl was stark naked, bent over, showing all she’s got in the world and shaking it in everyone’s faces that still gives no one any excuse or indemnification for putting their hands on her (let alone anything else) without consent, period. No matter how lacking in common sense any woman may be, no matter how outrageous her behavior the line is drawn when actions occur without consent. Continually harping on what she may or may have done is rape apology. It is focusing on the wrong person: the only one who has to answer for their actions in a rape situation is the rapist, not the victim.

    Sit and think about that, because all of this “she shouldn’t have” and “she was foolish” (and oh my lord @JenEngland you were in your own damned house you did nothing wrong why are you letting anyone blame you?!) is nonproductive, water-muddying, rape apology nonsense. Stop it.

  36. toni
    March 11, 2010 4:41 pm

    Stan Says:
    March 9th, 2010 at 6:00 pm
    “Sex happened! Sex happened in the bathroom!”

    Hey toni, how the heck do you know what happened in the bathroom…if anything at this point? Were YOU there? Are you an investigator working on the case? Didn’t thin so!

    Roethlisberger admits sexual contact with accuser…

    Stan, we’re not laughing with you…we’re laughing AT you.

  37. bucdaddy
    March 11, 2010 11:26 pm


    So she bears zero responsibility for her own behavior, health and well-being?

    Everyone here thinks Bennie should have been smart enough to stay home. If he partied at home, this wouldn’t have happened. So … Are you saying young women are too stupid to grasp that concept too?

    Why is this so hard? If you don’t want to take a chance getting run over by a train, don’t walk on the damn tracks. You might get away with it 999 times …

    Technically, yes, “If this girl was stark naked, bent over, showing all she’s got in the world and shaking it in everyone’s faces that still gives no one any excuse or indemnification for putting their hands on her (let alone anything else) without consent, period.” You’re absolutely right. She ought to be able to do that without consequence.

    But you know what? Some creepy guys don’t get hung up on technicalities. Some creepy guys see you carry on like that, guys with low or no moral threshholds, they might think you ARE asking for it. And some creepy guys ought to go to prison for a long time.

    Will that make the rape victim feel any better? I doubt it.

  38. H
    March 12, 2010 4:07 pm

    @ Toni – sexual contact, not intercourse. There is actually a difference. Maybe we’ll just laugh at YOU instead…

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