Random n’at

1.  Last month, in a flash of mommy brilliance, I mixed Flavor Blasted Pizza Goldfish with Parmesan Goldfish, gave it to my son for an after school snack and said, “No applause necessary.”

Then, last week in Target, I spy, what’s this here?  Goldfish Mix-Up Adventures!  Flavor Blasted Pizza Goldfish mixed with Parmesan Goldfish.

I’m pretty sure Pepperidge Farm owes me a couple million dollars.

2. Yesterday, thanks to hot bats and a homer from Garrett Effin’ Jones, the Buccos of Suckitude beat the World Champion Yankees.  Add this to the many many reasons you should hop on the bandwagon with me and donate five dollars to be eligible for some random prizes once the Pirates finally finally finally play .500 ball.


3.  Speaking of the future World Champion Buccos of Suckitude (I can’t believe I just typed that either.  I think my Pollyannaitis might be flaring up), listen to this quote from pitcher Charlie Morton describing, well, I don’t know what the hell:

“The stuff felt fresh, and I was mostly down.”

Is that Snoop Dogg-speak? Next time someone asks me, “How are you?” I’m going to say, “The stuff felt fresh and I was mostly down, holla.”

4.  Antwaan Randle-El is a Steeler again, and this is weird … I can’t remember what I thought of him as a player while he was a Steeler.  It’s like I erased him from my memory.  So I hunted through my archives to see what I used to think about him.

I discovered I blamed the scientologists when he left.  That I was pissed at him, and that he apparently went “Slash” at one game, as evidenced by this ancient WTRT.

And that’s all I can find.  [shrug]

5.  However, check this out:

Randle El’s signing comes one day after the Steelers signed free-agent wide receiver Arnaz Battle from the San Francisco 49ers to a three-year, $3.9 million contract. The addition of Randle El and Battle gives the Steelers seven receivers, including Sweed and Tyler Grisham — two more than they kept on their 53-man roster last season.


First I lost Jeremy Bloom and now it looks like I might lose Tyler Grisham.  [sigh]

At least I still have Daniel and Troy to look at.

(h/t Dave)

6.  15-year-old Mt. Lebanon resident Monica Oxenreiter has created her own nonprofit, complete with 501 (c) (3) status, and recognized by the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation.  Monica sent me an email saying:

My name is Monica Oxenreiter. I am 15 years old and live in Mt. Lebanon. I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes when I was thirteen months old.  I have been involved in fundraising for diabetes research for as long as I can remember.  I came up with a great idea to raise money:  Raise $100 in every zip code in the United States. As there are 42,000 zip codes, this will hopefully raise over $4.2 million for the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation.

Isn’t that awesome?  Go check out the map, that once every zip code in America is sponsored, will be entirely green.  Right now, there’s tons and tons of yellow.  Visit Zip The Cure and sponsor your zip code!

What an amazing girl.  She’s the next Awesome Burgher and her crown is in the mail and by crown I mean, anything she needs, she just needs to ask me.

7.  When Melissa Hart lost her congressional re-election campaign to Rep. Jason Altmire, for some inexplicable reason she abandoned her old VW in the garage used by congresspeople, where it has rested for three years now, becoming a target for messages scrawled in the collecting dirt by members of the current congress or perhaps their staffers.

“I wish my wife was this dirty.”


(h/t Jenn)

8.  Let’s close out with a Craigslist What the Effie, and boy, WHAT THE EFFIE?!


  1. Sooska
    March 10, 2010 10:55 am

    #8 did he type with his extra foreskin?

    #4 El YEAH! glad he’s back. JIC, ya know?

    #7 that’s all in 3 years? funny line though. did Tiger have a liaison in that garage?

  2. Monty
    March 10, 2010 10:59 am

    I’m not a medical doctor, but I’m pretty sure the technical term for extra foreskin is “fiveskin.”

  3. Pensgirl
    March 10, 2010 11:04 am

    Yikes…that What the Effie should maybe come with a NSFW tag.

    When the Steelers drafted Randle El I felt like the only person in Pittsburgh who was happy about it. I’m thrilled that he’s back. In addition to being someone I always found fun to watch, I have firsthand experience that indicates that he and his family are, how can I put it…the sort of people who would stop to help you out if they saw you stranded on the side of the road. I also recall that when the Redskins held their “welcome aboard” press conference with him, he started off his remarks by thanking the Steelers organization.

  4. elysianfantasy
    March 10, 2010 11:06 am

    #8 – Oh.Mah.GAWD! If the foreskin wasn’t enough to drive a woman wild, the fact that his momma can pick you up to have a romp at his house…well, what girl couldn’t resist? :P

    #7 – Great way to stick it to the “man”, Melissa. However, I lurrrrv the comments on the car. :)

    #5 – I could be reading it wrong, but it looks to me that they’re going to keep Tyler Grisham…? Lord knows I sure hope so! *drool*

    #2 – I hate to burst your bubble Ginny, but I think their win was a way to lure Succo fans into a false sense of security in their ability to suck less. They do this every year. They go on a great winning streak at the beginning of the season, then trade off their best players to end the season in a big pile of poo. My money is on this is NOT the year. ;)

  5. bluzdude
    March 10, 2010 11:08 am

    Everyone’s stuff should be that fresh.

  6. DG
    March 10, 2010 11:15 am

    5. Hopefully it will be Limas “Brick Hands” Sweed who will be shipped off, not Grisham.

    I second @Pensgirl, I am very very happy to see El back on the roster.

  7. Jen
    March 10, 2010 11:16 am

    #8 – It appears that pic of himself is also his wallpaper.

  8. oldgraymare
    March 10, 2010 11:17 am

    Thanks for the pic of Tyler Grisham. It is rivaled today only by the pic of Sidney Crosby in a tux!

  9. Leslie
    March 10, 2010 11:27 am

    Tyler Grisham…hubba.

    I am so, SO happy Randle El is back. I hope that means Sweed is on the way out!

  10. Beth
    March 10, 2010 11:31 am

    Mike Wallace is WAY hotter than Tyler Grisham. Even with the faux ‘hawk.

  11. toni
    March 10, 2010 11:35 am

    I can’t believe you don’t have many memories of Antwaan Randle-El. He was VERY well liked by the Steelers, his team members and the fans.

    I’ll never forget him leaping in Cowher’s arms after his first NFL TD.

  12. Heather
    March 10, 2010 11:51 am

    There are only two things I remember well about Randel-El… He can also pass during trick plays and after a great super bowl, he dumped us to be a higher-paid superstar. All in all, welcome back :-)

    Also, in the what the effie… THAT’S A SCREENSHOT OF HIS WALLPAPER. Clearly a genius.

  13. Matt
    March 10, 2010 11:51 am

    #2 – Didn’t the succos just lose to the Yankees the other day 6-0 with a whopping 2 hits? I hate when people get their hopes up for the pirates just to have them crushed every year.

  14. SpudMom
    March 10, 2010 12:02 pm


    Is it Ok to blog about Monica on our blogs and use the email that she sent you? I’d like to spread the word (’cause we can’t afford to give cash) because that is one of the best ideas I’ve ever heard of when fundraising. But, I don’t want to use her email if that’s not ok.


  15. Noe
    March 10, 2010 12:12 pm

    I think it’s pretty sad that Mr. No Condoms is an AIDS case waiting to happen and spread. SHUDDER…

  16. Tiffany
    March 10, 2010 12:13 pm

    #7 I still day the dirty wife bit was scrawled by Bill Clinton.

  17. Al
    March 10, 2010 12:33 pm

    When I graduated college in the 90s, Melissa Hart mailed me a signed letter congratulating me on my achievement. I thought it was nice, but no big deal. My mom decided to frame the letter and keep it.

    In retrospect, I’d rather have the Jetta.

  18. Matt
    March 10, 2010 12:58 pm

    #7 – If that car is in the Rayburn garage, maybe the “dirty wife” reference was ex-Rep Eric Massa’s elaborately ironic exit message. (Regardless, not a very good ad for W&J college.)

    #8 – Part 2 of Massa’s elaborate exit message.

  19. Cassie
    March 10, 2010 1:19 pm

    Be prepared to take it bare!

  20. CoolChick
    March 10, 2010 1:31 pm

    Melissa went to W&J. Lukey went to W&J. Hmmmm…

  21. red pen mama
    March 10, 2010 2:10 pm

    I haven’t even read this post yet. I just wanted to say thank you for the picture of Tyler.

    Now I guess I’ll go read.

  22. red pen mama
    March 10, 2010 2:17 pm

    Having read (and taken more time to gaze at Tyler’s form) I will comment: I hope Sweed is on his way out.

    I did not read the Effie because I’m at work, and the comments alone scared me.

    I thought the “She is!!!” under “I wish my wife was this dirty” was hilarious. I’m not exactly high-brow.

  23. REARless
    March 10, 2010 2:23 pm

    Someone wrote all over your abandoned car Melissa, why the long face?

  24. AJR
    March 10, 2010 2:23 pm

    Hi! Just found your blog today! I’m another Pittsburgh girl blogging :) Hope you don’t mind I’ve added you to my blog list!

  25. Megan
    March 10, 2010 2:47 pm

    Yay @ Randle El!!! I’ve wanted him and Jeremy back for ages! Half-way there!

  26. Pittsburgh Tom
    March 10, 2010 3:07 pm

    If I`m not mistaken, Daniel is a restricted free agent. So you might just have Troy to look at.

  27. Kathy
    March 10, 2010 3:22 pm

    What a fabulous idea for a fundraiser! I just took care of the 15219 zipcode….!

    Other than that, I think I may now have to take a sick day after looking at that Craig’s list picture….

  28. Carpetbagger
    March 10, 2010 3:53 pm

    Randle El had something Ben didn’t… a Super Bowl XL touchdown pass.

    And just like Effie, he can have his mom pick you up, he likes cats and dog, and he prefers fat girls. Weird coincidence, huh?

  29. Big_pooma
    March 10, 2010 6:31 pm

    Being relative newcomer to the blog, I didn’t realise the aesthetic appreciation you had of Jeremy Bloom, but in case you didn’t see it, here’s a great article about him from SI in December.


    What a cool thing to do.

  30. jan
    March 10, 2010 6:45 pm

    Trust me – You are very happy to have Randle El back. And I am too. I still have my “Run like El” t-shirt. In fact I have been wearing it ever since he left!(Not every day, I mean, just once in a while during football season)

  31. PA Girl in FL
    March 10, 2010 7:37 pm

    Cool Chick – PLEASE don’t draw any conclusions about W&J grads based on Mayor Lukey and Melissa…most of us aren’t anything like them…in a very good way.

  32. JenOH
    March 10, 2010 10:50 pm

    I like Jeremy Bloom too and that article that Big_pooma provided the link to is awesome. :)

    And thanks for more laughs of course!

  33. Sheesh
    March 11, 2010 2:44 am

    Not drinking the Kool Aid

  34. bucdaddy
    March 11, 2010 9:50 am

    Leslie Says:
    March 10th, 2010 at 11:27 am

    I am so, SO happy Randle El is back. I hope that means Sweed is on the way out!

    Maybe they just want to have an extra quarterback around. You never know what might happen to your starter. Crazy stuff. Concussions, jail sentences. “Be prepared,” they told me in Boy Scouts. Good advice.

  35. Erica
    March 11, 2010 11:32 am

    I wish my wife was this dirty…hahahaha!

  36. efw_west
    March 11, 2010 12:31 pm

    I remember seeing an interview with Melissa on the night she was losing the first election to Altmire. Very strange, like she was in some type of zombie-state since she was in disbelief she was going to lose. Maybe that loss so traumitized her she can’t bear to go back to the old car.

  37. Leslie
    March 12, 2010 11:33 pm

    Way to represent, Missy.

  38. Jamie
    March 17, 2010 10:36 pm

    Getting a giggle out of the talk about Tyler. He went to high school with my daughter down here in Birmingham, AL. Very nice kid. Married a very cute girl last summer. Wish Ben was more like him. Might save the Rooneys and the rest of us a whole lot of headaches.