- March 10, 2010
- filed under Awesome Burghers, Eye rolls, Hot Burghers, Pirates, Steelers, Troy Polamalu, Weird Burghers
1. Last month, in a flash of mommy brilliance, I mixed Flavor Blasted Pizza Goldfish with Parmesan Goldfish, gave it to my son for an after school snack and said, “No applause necessary.”
Then, last week in Target, I spy, what’s this here? Goldfish Mix-Up Adventures! Flavor Blasted Pizza Goldfish mixed with Parmesan Goldfish.
I’m pretty sure Pepperidge Farm owes me a couple million dollars.
2. Yesterday, thanks to hot bats and a homer from Garrett Effin’ Jones, the Buccos of Suckitude beat the World Champion Yankees. Add this to the many many reasons you should hop on the bandwagon with me and donate five dollars to be eligible for some random prizes once the Pirates finally finally finally play .500 ball.
THIS IS THE YEAR!
3. Speaking of the future World Champion Buccos of Suckitude (I can’t believe I just typed that either. I think my Pollyannaitis might be flaring up), listen to this quote from pitcher Charlie Morton describing, well, I don’t know what the hell:
“The stuff felt fresh, and I was mostly down.”
Is that Snoop Dogg-speak? Next time someone asks me, “How are you?” I’m going to say, “The stuff felt fresh and I was mostly down, holla.”
4. Antwaan Randle-El is a Steeler again, and this is weird … I can’t remember what I thought of him as a player while he was a Steeler. It’s like I erased him from my memory. So I hunted through my archives to see what I used to think about him.
And that’s all I can find. [shrug]
5. However, check this out:
Randle El’s signing comes one day after the Steelers signed free-agent wide receiver Arnaz Battle from the San Francisco 49ers to a three-year, $3.9 million contract. The addition of Randle El and Battle gives the Steelers seven receivers, including Sweed and Tyler Grisham — two more than they kept on their 53-man roster last season.
NO! NOT TYLER GRISHAM!
First I lost Jeremy Bloom and now it looks like I might lose Tyler Grisham. [sigh]
At least I still have Daniel and Troy to look at.
6. 15-year-old Mt. Lebanon resident Monica Oxenreiter has created her own nonprofit, complete with 501 (c) (3) status, and recognized by the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. Monica sent me an email saying:
My name is Monica Oxenreiter. I am 15 years old and live in Mt. Lebanon. I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes when I was thirteen months old. I have been involved in fundraising for diabetes research for as long as I can remember. I came up with a great idea to raise money: Raise $100 in every zip code in the United States. As there are 42,000 zip codes, this will hopefully raise over $4.2 million for the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation.
Isn’t that awesome? Go check out the map, that once every zip code in America is sponsored, will be entirely green. Right now, there’s tons and tons of yellow. Visit Zip The Cure and sponsor your zip code!
What an amazing girl. She’s the next Awesome Burgher and her crown is in the mail and by crown I mean, anything she needs, she just needs to ask me.
7. When Melissa Hart lost her congressional re-election campaign to Rep. Jason Altmire, for some inexplicable reason she abandoned her old VW in the garage used by congresspeople, where it has rested for three years now, becoming a target for messages scrawled in the collecting dirt by members of the current congress or perhaps their staffers.
“I wish my wife was this dirty.”
8. Let’s close out with a Craigslist What the Effie, and boy, WHAT THE EFFIE?!