Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing scary.

A quiz.

Who sent an email to Pittsburgh City Controller Michael Lamb saying:

“Are you fiiiiiing kidding me! Put him squarely on the list.”

A.  The Dread Lord Yarone Zober, clearly out to destroy someone, and therefore, had someone put on “the list” for destruction.

B.  Luke Ravenstahl, with an internal squee, that Ben Roethlisberger wants an invite to Lukey’s next off the hook frat-boy party.

C.  Joanna Doven, because it totally sounds like something she would say.

D.  The Devil, because it totally sounds like something he would say.

E. None of the above.

If you guessed E, you are a winner.

Holy crap.  What is “The List”?  Am I on it?  What happens to people on the list?  Do they get extra attention from the pigeons or something because that would explain a lot of things about why I’m always the one that gets pooped on, if I am in fact on The List.  Is it a Hit List?  A Shit List?

Mr. Zappalla claims: “There’s no list. It’s a metaphor for the notion” of negativity.

Yeah, right.  If you believe that Mr. Zappalla was essentially saying, “Put that guy on the list of people who I think are negative,” then I’ve got an autographed copy of Jeff Reed’s Doctorate in Theology certificate to sell you.

(h/t Bram on twitter)





33 Comments

  1. bucdaddy
    March 12, 2010 10:14 am

    I’ll see your pigeons and raise you getting shat upon by a seagull.



  2. Pensgirl
    March 12, 2010 10:23 am

    Can’t wait to read what ADB has to say about this.



  3. Taxpayer
    March 12, 2010 10:48 am

    Business partners Charles Zappala and John Verbanic are a couple of parasites who make their living by jobbing city taxpayers. Funny thing is Verbanic tells Ravenstahl how to run the city. And he listens.

    http://pghcomet.blogspot.com/2009/10/john-verbanac-friend-with-benefits.html



  4. butcher's dog
    March 12, 2010 11:20 am

    Doesn’t everyone kinda-sorta have a list of some kind or sort? I mean, mine includes fans (even casual ones) of the Browns, Ravens, Flyers, Crapitols, and Rangers, just for starters. Then we can get specific after that. When “the list” interfers with normal daily activities, it’s time to reconsider priorities.



  5. Sooska
    March 12, 2010 11:56 am

    Could it be “The List” is the list of young thangs Asshat is recruiting for his video being shot in Miami? The locals just wanted in on the action, like what Tone is making is a companion piece to “The Blind Side.”



  6. j
    March 12, 2010 11:57 am

    @bucdaddy: I’ll see your seagull shit and raise you a pelican poop. Green, massive, and full of bits of seashell and sand.

    It actually DID turn out to be good luck, as it so happens.



  7. Carpetbagger
    March 12, 2010 12:21 pm

    Mr Zappala may be an aficionado of the way Henry James used absence as a metaphor in his short story, The Author of Beltraffio. Or in how Tolstoy used a beehive without a queen as a metaphor for Moscow in the face of the French advance in War and Peace.

    Or he just keeps a shit list of enemies to destroy.



  8. BlueNumber2
    March 12, 2010 12:44 pm

    I wonder if the list is laminated.



  9. esh
    March 12, 2010 12:57 pm

    Very interesting…how does this ‘your on the list’ email become PG news??

    Does Zappala have a unique keyboard that includes a ‘wrong recipeint’ button along with a ‘reply to all of SW PA’ button? Or, does the city controller use the PG as a tool every time someone sends him a nastygram?



  10. bluzdude
    March 12, 2010 1:44 pm

    Must get to the bottom of this… Now consulting my old copy of “The Book of Lists.” (Vol. 3)



  11. CC
    March 12, 2010 3:42 pm

    Right on Taxpayer. They are just two of the many incompetent parasites. They suck everything from the city coffers and then claim they are broke and must hit up the suburbanites and non-profits to get them out of the fix they are in. When in fact the suburbanites pay the parking tax, the amusement tax, large state income tax that then gets “shared” by Swindell back to the city, etc etc. And the non-profits provide a majority of the jobs in the city and the reason anybody even comes into the city.



  12. gunnlino
    March 12, 2010 4:54 pm

    Looks like western PA politics as usual as it has been functioning for the past 100 years.



  13. unsatisfied
    March 12, 2010 5:38 pm

    mr. zappala sounds like he needs that CD collection that teaches you how to use applications on your computer. such as email.



  14. Luke Steelerstahl
    March 12, 2010 6:59 pm

    CC #11 – YOUR ON THE LIST!!!

    But seriously, why shouldn’t the City hit up the suburbanites? You don’t vote, and you take but don’t give. I see no reason not to destroy you.



  15. CheckItAught
    March 12, 2010 9:14 pm

    CC said And the non-profits provide a majority of the jobs in the city and the reason anybody even comes into the city.

    Um, No.
    http://pittsburgh.about.com/od/employers/Major_Pittsburgh_Employers_Companies.htm



  16. Bojack
    March 12, 2010 10:40 pm

    Ho Hum.

    The Sopranos? I mean the Zappala’s?
    You mean the same Zappalas in the scandal that sent 2 PA judges to jail for railroading juveniles into a for-profit jail owned by Greg Zappala (the DA’s brother)?? Who skated??

    Those Zappalas??

    http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/10031/1032099-155.stm

    “list” is just a figure of speech, ummmm, OK, I’ll buy that one when pigs fly or the Pirates……

    *pukes on floor*

    And heeere’s Chuck!!

    http://pistgazette.blogspot.com/2007/04/investigative-report_21.html

    Dear PA voters,

    Keep staying with the one-party setup suckers!! Please!!

    Thanks,

    Zappala family



  17. CC
    March 12, 2010 11:02 pm

    #15 How many companies on that list are located in the city proper and bring people who spend money on a daily basis into the city proper? A handful at best and one of them is UPMC. Kind of surprised The University of Pittsburgh is not on the list but probably should be.

    #11 I agree suburbanites should contribute but I think if an unbiased analysis of all sources of city revenue was done it would reveal that suburbanites (both directly and indirectly) do make a significant contribution. And, as you state, we do not get to vote. It certainly is not all take and no give.

    Probably just reading this blog puts us all on the list.



  18. Luke Steelerstahl
    March 13, 2010 12:41 am

    Suburbanites do not pay real estate tax.
    Suburbanites do not pay income tax.
    Suburbanites do not pay any more LST tax than Pittsburghers that work in the suburbs.
    Suburbanites do not pay any relevant sales tax that goes to the City (out of that 7%, .25% goes to the City, not enough to matter).
    Suburbanites do not pay deed transfer tax.

    Yet suburbanites act like pigeons and shit all over the City. Fuck that and fuck them.



  19. butcher's dog
    March 13, 2010 7:31 am

    And yet, who would there be to actually, you know, do the work, Luke? People aren’t comin’ in from the ‘burbs daily just for the urban ambience.



  20. CC
    March 13, 2010 8:24 am

    Like I said, there needs to be an independent, unbiased analysis of who pays what and who takes what before a solution can be found.

    Suburbanites pay all of those taxes, Luke. How about the amusement tax (10%) of every ticket purchased, for every event. How about 37.5% parking tax. How about our 3.07% income tax which goes to the State and then comes disproportionatly back to the city and city schools. How about the 100,000 plus suburbanites that come to the city every single day and support businesses that pay taxes. Ask any business owner downtown and they will tell you how much they pay in taxes and fees to the city. Simple economics says they pass that cost on the customer (i.e. mostly suburbanites) otherwise they go out of business.

    I just think that all of this needs too be quantified before we simply say tax the people who come into the city and the non-profits. Once a clear understanding is reached then we can stop piting the suburbs against the city folks.

    Otherwise, the “urban ambience” will be more vacant storefronts.



  21. Luke Steelerstahl
    March 13, 2010 10:21 am

    Studies say what you want them to say.

    The University of Pittsburgh says they give $15 billion to the City.

    The City says the University of Pittsburgh gives $800,000 to the City.

    Both of those numbers are correct.



  22. bucdaddy
    March 13, 2010 10:30 am

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    *wipes tear from eye*

    Ah, Pennsylvania. I know every state’s citizens think they have the worst politicians, but I am here as a representative of West Virginia to declare we have nothing — NOTHING — on you suckers.

    So keep on putting kleptos and crazies in office and then acting like YOU work for THEM.



  23. CheckItAught
    March 13, 2010 10:41 am

    CC – It could be a lot worse, you could live in Philly where they have a 3.5392% tax on non-residents for wages earned in the city.

    Bojack – Interesting links.
    http://pghcomet.blogspot.com/2009/04/zappalas-influence-big-business.html



  24. CC
    March 13, 2010 8:40 pm

    Agreed it could be worse but comparing Pittsburgh to Philly is a little disengenuous. Philadelphia is on whole different level of wage structure.

    I know studies can be skewed but something needs to be done to fix the problems and constantly making it a suburbs vs city issue does not help. We are interdependent. One cannot be effective and thrive without the other.

    I just do not see the politicians currently in power within the city and outside it solving the problem. Afterall, the Zappalas, Verbanec, etc etc probably do not live in the city. In the end, we all get skrewed.



  25. CheckItAught
    March 14, 2010 12:12 am

    making it a suburbs vs city issue does not help. We are interdependent.

    Amen Double C. These politicians in Harrisburg treat Pittsburgh like a second class citizen and throw us table scraps when it comes to state revenue. F-That and F-Them. Vote for a Pittsburgh Governor next cycle.



  26. Bojack
    March 14, 2010 1:07 am

    “Pittsburgh” Governor??? HAHAHAHAHA

    Dan “the Ho” Onorato, (or any local pol coming up here,) will throw this city, Allegheny County, and both their grandmothers and their children under the bus in a heartbeat, they won’t even have to be asked, they will VOLUNTEER it, for even the hint of self advancement.



  27. Bojack
    March 14, 2010 1:26 am

    By the time they get to Grant and Ross Streets
    any local Dem is such a completely tricked-out, veteran whore,
    willing to perform acts that even your average crack whore would refuse, that the lure of Harrisburg…..oh, the dream…… LOL

    BTW,

    Dear PA Voters,

    Please, please keep right on voting straight D, suckers.

    Thanks,
    Thanks a million,
    Make that thanks many millions,

    Zappala Family



  28. Luke Steelerstahl
    March 14, 2010 12:59 pm

    Of course Onorato will remember where he came from if he becomes governor. Just look at everything he did for the City when he became Chief Exec of the County!

    Pushed for the elimination of the City, but refused to consolidate services if it would cost the County money (crime investigation, fixing the elevators in the City-County building).

    But I need his job, so please promote him!



  29. Bojack
    March 14, 2010 2:52 pm

    It never ceases to amaze me that the likes of Lukey, Danny, the Sopra-Zappalas, etc CONTINUALLY perform the equivalent of
    forcible, deviant sodomy on the entire community, ROB CASH
    STRAIGHT out of our (and our kids’) pockets,

    and nothing happens, but let a football player get caught getting
    a blowjob in a club…….OMG!!!



  30. Bojack
    March 14, 2010 2:57 pm

    Dear Ben & Skippy,

    We’d like to thank you both for making headlines
    and keeping the spotlight and housefly attention-span
    of Allegheny County yo-yos off of us.

    Great job guys! (Can you get some more domestic violence
    out of your teammates please? May elections are coming up.)

    Truly yours,
    Zappala Family



  31. kelly
    March 15, 2010 12:19 pm

    i wish you’d write more about the zappala clan. they’re behind some of the worst business and politics in the history of western pa.



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