Sex Addicts Anonymous

David Duchovny.

Charlie Sheen.

Bill Clinton.

Tiger Woods.

David Letterman.

Michael Douglas.

Ben Roethlisberger.

All “sex addicts” who appeared in cartoon form on the most recent South Park episode.


1.  If all of those men were ever actually in the same room at the same time, I bet you could catch an STD just by breathing the same putrid air as them.

2.  Whoever thought I’d be mentioning a Steeler in a list of sex addicts featured on South Park and it WOULDN’T be Jeff Reed?

3.  In one part, the sex-addiction counselor asks the class, “In order to make sure we are not destroying our lives with any of these behaviors [circles a list of words that includes ‘internet porn’ and ‘sex with hookers’ and one including the word ‘cigar’ that I won’t reprint here because my father READS MY BLOG], what must we do?”

The answer of course is, “Don’t get caught.”

Then the instructor asks, “How do we avoid getting caught? Ben Roethlisberger.”  and Benny answers, “Don’t do girls in the public bathroom.”

Truer words have never been spoken.  That’s a motivational poster quote if I’ve ever heard one.

Someone go and tape that to Benny’s locker for me, would ya?

You can watch the whole episode here.

(h/t Tracy, Gary, Dawn and Tony)


  1. Still A Fan
    March 18, 2010 2:38 pm

    That is awesome. Reed and tone should be there as well.

  2. Jess
    March 18, 2010 2:50 pm

    Thank you – I was hoping you’d touch on this after I saw the new South Park! :)

  3. Bojack
    March 18, 2010 2:51 pm

    Hey! How about a little gender-fairness here?

    Women have their own word- nymphomaniac!

    How come men don’t get their own scientific-sounding word?

    Just “dog,” or sex-addict…..

    Just sayin’……

  4. Bojack
    March 18, 2010 2:57 pm

    I mean, there are a lot of women out there laying more pipe than Equitable Gas!

  5. Sooska
    March 18, 2010 3:07 pm

    Actually, as far as we know, there is only one of those accused of rape or sexual assault (maybe Charlie Sheen or was that plain assault?)
    I’d say on the whole Benny is not a sex-addict. I’d say a control freak power-addict for Benny, biyatches.

  6. one-eyed dick
    March 18, 2010 3:15 pm

    bojack @ No. 4: “… there are a lot of women out there laying more pipe than Equitable Gas!”

    Yeah, maybe, but it does it take four of them in the truck, one sitting in a backhoe and five leaning on shovels to do it?

  7. Bojack
    March 18, 2010 3:20 pm

    @one-eye> Didn’t say they didn’t need a better union! :-)

  8. Kathy
    March 18, 2010 3:28 pm

    You might need to add Jesse James to that list too!

  9. Donncha
    March 18, 2010 3:29 pm

    Is Ben Roethlisberger involved in some sort of sex-related controversy? Why haven’t I seen anything about it on TV or in the papers?

  10. Bojack
    March 18, 2010 4:24 pm

    What handkerchief?

  11. Scott
    March 18, 2010 4:26 pm

    And @bojackass is off and running….

  12. Bojack
    March 18, 2010 4:51 pm

    What’s the matter @Scott?

    Don’t be a hater!

    Mean people suck!

  13. Pittsburgh Tom
    March 18, 2010 7:00 pm

    Looking at the first screen shot, my first thought was that Ben hasn’t looked that skinny in years.

  14. Virginia Hendricks
    March 18, 2010 8:22 pm

    I LOVE the poster!!! :)

  15. greg
    March 19, 2010 8:17 am

    soooo funny thanks for makng me laugh

  16. Carpetbagger
    March 19, 2010 8:32 am

    I guess we’ve learned that when Ben’s doing girls in a Georgia bar, he wears his away jersey.

  17. red pen mama
    March 19, 2010 8:48 am

    @bojack: in men, the scientific term is satyriasis. As with nymphomania, it’s uncontrollable, pathological sexual behavior. Not really fun or pleasurable. rather the opposite.

  18. LaReina
    March 19, 2010 3:08 pm

    Truer words were ne’er spoken.
    Don’t do them in a public restroom, indeed, Ben.

  19. Cassie
    March 21, 2010 2:19 pm

    Ha! So awesome.

  20. tim
    March 24, 2010 11:28 pm

    WTF . . . i watched the beginning of that South Park link this morning, and tonight it is unavailable until April 17?? Ohhh Hell . . . i wanted to see that guy i had as my background on my computer and at home and work (that i have deleted) be portrayed as the piece of garbage he is. Funny thing too on the Steelers website which i’m a member . . . any thread that has the the word “Ben” is deleted. I have a daughter that just finished college and would be out to having a good time. According to Fug she’s a “bitch” and a “Hoe” now. Very nice. I go to St Vincent’s every year since 1978, and worked at Hienz Field as a “seat attendant” until after Fug’s first year when the Steelers went 15-1. I missed working the AFC Championship game that year (they lost anyhoo) because my knees gave out from walking up and down the steps. I had surgery and got them fixed. I made barely lunch money after taxes and union dues. While i can’t do steps, i DO know what it takes to be a real man. I explain it to my son all the time. Pray for Your Daughters about . . . Fug claims them all to be hoe’s and bitches . . . his perverted playpen! OMG. If Mr Rooney does not come through with tossing this garbage to the curb, i just will give it up. That is Church