Where have all the cowboys gone?

Another day, another Steeler accused of being a massive douchebag.

Today, it’s Santonio Holmes taking some of the media heat off of Ben Roethlisberger, and major props to Mikey and Big Bob for tracking this story down first this morning.

Short story, Santonio was in a nightclub in Florida, a girl was sitting on “his” couch, he got pissed, she got pissed, words flew and then Santonio threw a glass of liquor at the woman’s face.

Big problem.  He threw the glass too and cut her eye.

Allegedly.

[sigh]

Yeah, allegedly.  But fool me twice, you know?

Like, if Troysus was accused of assaulting a woman in a nightclub, we would be hard-pressed to believe the allegations.  We’d be all, Troysus?  Are you sure he wasn’t just attempting to turn beer into wine and he tripped?

But just like we had Ben Roethlisberger, already once accused of sexual assault, being accused again, we now have The Asshat who, and you know, I need to bullet point these because there’s so freaking many of them:

— Four babies to three babymamas, two of whom are on twitter in their nakedness

— Arrested for public drunkeness and disorderly conduct in Miami

— Arrested for assaulting one of his babymamas by choking her

— Arrested for driving with marijuana in his SUV

— GIANT FRESHLY SHOWERED …

You get the picture.

So now we have, “Threw a glass at a woman’s face” and suddenly it’s not so unbelievable when you look at his growing list of WAYS IN WHICH SANTONIO HOLMES IS AN ASSHAT.

Could this be a case of a money-hungry opportunistic woman? Yeah.

But at the same time, am I so really really ridiculously tired of all of this “giving the benefit of the doubt” talk and all of these accusations against the Steelers followed by their, “I don’t want to be a distraction to the team” comments to the media?

Yeah.

Here’s an idea.  You don’t want to be a distraction, Steelers?  Stop living your charmed life like a Jersey Shore douchebag who drinks anything that has fermented, bangs anything that has boobs, angrily demands anything that has value, punches anything that has pissed you off, all the while expecting the world and its citizens to kowtow to you and your perceived sense of greatness and entitlement simply because you are paid ridiculous sums of money because you know how to throw a freaking football or catch it while keeping your toes inbound.

I am not seeing these problems with the Penguins and I am not seeing these problems with the Pirates, so please spare me the, well, I’m a professional athlete and that means blah bitty blah frickity blah blah.  Shut it. I don’t want to hear it.

And Steelers management, coaches, owners?  I’m looking at you too, because CLEARLY something is not being said in the locker room and that is this: See this jersey? The jersey of Lipps and Swann and Harris and Bradshaw and Greene and Lambert? Act like it MEANS something to you.  Protect the reputation of this jersey, because every accusation, every arrest, every lawsuit is a smear of dirt on it that will take YEARS to wash away. GROW. THE. HELL. UP.  All y’all.

Because the last thing I need to hear from a fan of another team is, “[Name of pro athlete] got arrested?!  What are we, the Steelers?!”

[headdesk]





69 Comments


  1. JMC
    March 29, 2010 3:36 pm

    “What are we, the Steelers?” This has reality series written all over it…



  2. butcher's dog
    March 29, 2010 4:38 pm

    Hell, Plax didn’t need no crossfire. Plax shot himself!

    Seriously, Kathy nailed it at #5. And I think I know why. Probably every player in the NHL (and many who never got that far) has had countless mornings when he heard: “It’s 4 AM! Get your ass out of bed and clean off the car, eh? We got the ice in an hour!” And the football worship isn’t something new. I seem to remember stories of Joe Namath playing pool all day in Beaver Falls on game days. Apparently there was no mandatory attendance policy. That may have been Joe Willie just polishing his reputation, though.

    To fix this problem will require teachers, school administrators, and school boards who are dedicated to treating the athletes like everyone else and demanding accountability from all students in all walks of school life. It’ll also require all those people to tell each and every parent who comes in demanding that their kid not be treated “so hard”. In other words, fat chance of it ever coming to pass.

    Not to be, you know, bitter.



  3. butcher's dog
    March 29, 2010 4:39 pm

    Tell them to sit the hell down and shut the hell up, is what I meant near the end. Too much sunshine down here in the South!



  4. Carbolic
    March 29, 2010 5:22 pm

    Is it really so astonishing that some members of the Pittsburgh Steelers feel entitled to behave less like representatives of one of the great franchises in professional sports and more like mafia warlords? While they alone are responsible for their boorish, and possibly criminal, behavior, is there any question who exalted them on their pedestals?

    At the Airside Terminal of the Pittsburgh International Airport, two statues greet visitors: George Washington and Franco Harris. Some Pittsburghers have complained that it is inappropriate to have Franco’s likeness next to that of the Father of Our Country. After all, what did George Washington ever do for the Steelers?



  5. SuzieQ
    March 29, 2010 5:50 pm

    Heres the deal Pittsburgh has so many football fans. I mean those people take pride in this team and fight to the death to to make that team well aware of their loyalty. I dont understand how some of those players turn their heads so easily on those people and make themselves out to be total douches!! I have heard so many stories about how some players (like big ben) will go out to eat in Pittsburgh and treat everyone around them like poop. So not only do you act like a douche in your own city, to the people who litterally warship you, you go to other cities to act like that and make all of us look bad? If i was someone who lived in Flordia and saw this story all i would say is REALLY Pittsburgh….Really? Not only that you make the other players who dont act like douches look like douches because you all play for the same team. My deal is if this and is how you are going to treat the city who has been named to have the most die hard fans and all those die hard fans, well i think this season i might have to find a new team to cheer for….



  6. Bram R
    March 29, 2010 6:15 pm

    Yeah, this could be a turning point in public perception. The Asshat is a key player right now and he keeps tripping. Plus, you’ve whatever’s going on with the guy throwing him the ball — it’s getting to be a bit much. Unless they want to proffer a “trifling b-tches be going after the STEELERS” argument. And then you’ve got to wonder — why are the Steelers such suckers for it?



  7. Wahoo
    March 29, 2010 6:34 pm

    uhhhhh……..



  8. unsatisfied
    March 29, 2010 7:08 pm

    we’ll finally know that the true steelers fans have had enough of this shit when they start not going to games and discontinue supporting an organization that permits this shit to occur.

    ……yeah, like that’s gonna happen, lol……



  9. one-eyed dick
    March 29, 2010 7:34 pm

    SuzieQ @ #56:

    “REALLY”

    One-Eyed Dick
    Sarasota, Flordia (not to be confused with “Florida”



  10. windy city steel city
    March 29, 2010 8:08 pm

    my fist, that is thrust into the air and being shaken with anger, is not as cute or little as yours. Asshat: has a big one, is a big one. trying to say “idiot’ in my best Ren impersonation.



  11. bucdaddy
    March 29, 2010 10:04 pm

    I wish that dozens of your state representatives and their minions heading to prison inspired as much vitriol as a couple of overroided musclehead jockholes do. Pennsylvania might actually change for the better.

    Meantime, I’ll just sit here in West Virginia and laugh at you. And there are precious few states I can say that about (looking at you, Mississippi).



  12. PittCheMBA
    March 29, 2010 10:37 pm

    So, who is watching his kids while he is out at a Nightclub?



  13. MM
    March 29, 2010 11:01 pm

    Your forgetting about James Harrison.

    The Steelers are becoming the Bangles.

    Also, I hope Holmes didn’t make the comments about not getting in trouble due to being an NFL player …if he than he is a truly is an a-hole.

    Ben, don’t believe either allegation-obviously is STUPID, and appears to be karma swinging him in the face for his arrogance.

    We all probably know the ins and outs of these cases, yet what does everyone know about the Health bill that was just signed into law last week:(



  14. MM
    March 29, 2010 11:03 pm

    My point w/ my last comment is agreeing w/ the person(s) that stated that “we” need to stop elevating this people to such a high level.



  15. kd
    March 29, 2010 11:58 pm

    GREAT blog. As much I love football, the Steelers are making me less into them lately (i.e. Ben and Santonio). But, I must defend Skippy? What you may all ask? Well, even though we all can agree Skippy is a dumbass, he has not been accused of anything CRIMINAL or of true violent nature. Ben and Santonio…I’d be happy to see them leave and their woman hating lack of respect ways. For Skippy, he just hates paper dispensers.



  16. susan
    March 30, 2010 8:42 am

    If they can’t do something productive during the off-season, can’t they at least remain quietly in their own homes?



  17. Valerie
    March 31, 2010 1:22 pm

    Bravo!



  18. SuzieQ
    March 31, 2010 7:21 pm

    One-Eyed Dick @ #60
    my bad i was typing too fast didnt catch that one