Where have all the cowboys gone?

Another day, another Steeler accused of being a massive douchebag.

Today, it’s Santonio Holmes taking some of the media heat off of Ben Roethlisberger, and major props to Mikey and Big Bob for tracking this story down first this morning.

Short story, Santonio was in a nightclub in Florida, a girl was sitting on “his” couch, he got pissed, she got pissed, words flew and then Santonio threw a glass of liquor at the woman’s face.

Big problem.  He threw the glass too and cut her eye.

Allegedly.

[sigh]

Yeah, allegedly.  But fool me twice, you know?

Like, if Troysus was accused of assaulting a woman in a nightclub, we would be hard-pressed to believe the allegations.  We’d be all, Troysus?  Are you sure he wasn’t just attempting to turn beer into wine and he tripped?

But just like we had Ben Roethlisberger, already once accused of sexual assault, being accused again, we now have The Asshat who, and you know, I need to bullet point these because there’s so freaking many of them:

— Four babies to three babymamas, two of whom are on twitter in their nakedness

— Arrested for public drunkeness and disorderly conduct in Miami

— Arrested for assaulting one of his babymamas by choking her

— Arrested for driving with marijuana in his SUV

— GIANT FRESHLY SHOWERED …

You get the picture.

So now we have, “Threw a glass at a woman’s face” and suddenly it’s not so unbelievable when you look at his growing list of WAYS IN WHICH SANTONIO HOLMES IS AN ASSHAT.

Could this be a case of a money-hungry opportunistic woman? Yeah.

But at the same time, am I so really really ridiculously tired of all of this “giving the benefit of the doubt” talk and all of these accusations against the Steelers followed by their, “I don’t want to be a distraction to the team” comments to the media?

Yeah.

Here’s an idea.  You don’t want to be a distraction, Steelers?  Stop living your charmed life like a Jersey Shore douchebag who drinks anything that has fermented, bangs anything that has boobs, angrily demands anything that has value, punches anything that has pissed you off, all the while expecting the world and its citizens to kowtow to you and your perceived sense of greatness and entitlement simply because you are paid ridiculous sums of money because you know how to throw a freaking football or catch it while keeping your toes inbound.

I am not seeing these problems with the Penguins and I am not seeing these problems with the Pirates, so please spare me the, well, I’m a professional athlete and that means blah bitty blah frickity blah blah.  Shut it. I don’t want to hear it.

And Steelers management, coaches, owners?  I’m looking at you too, because CLEARLY something is not being said in the locker room and that is this: See this jersey? The jersey of Lipps and Swann and Harris and Bradshaw and Greene and Lambert? Act like it MEANS something to you.  Protect the reputation of this jersey, because every accusation, every arrest, every lawsuit is a smear of dirt on it that will take YEARS to wash away. GROW. THE. HELL. UP.  All y’all.

Because the last thing I need to hear from a fan of another team is, “[Name of pro athlete] got arrested?!  What are we, the Steelers?!”

[headdesk]





69 Comments


  1. empirechick
    March 29, 2010 10:13 am

    “Here’s an idea. You don’t want to be a distraction, Steelers? Stop living your charmed life…”

    That entire paragraph is perfect. AMEN SISTER!!



  2. Kim Z
    March 29, 2010 10:26 am

    My husband’s suggestion: “Can’t the Steelers hire handlers for these people?” Seriously, it would be worth it to hire a few adult babysitters to protect the franchise reputation.



  3. spoon
    March 29, 2010 10:27 am

    You knew that The Donger would be the next one in the news.

    If I sued for “emotional distress” as many times as I had a drink thrown in my face… well I wouldn’t have any money cuz my women are all classy broads and women who drink craft beer know the value of their drinks.

    Know what I’m waiting for, the dude that tried to revive the roadkill is a Steelers season ticket holder.



  4. Ginny's Dad
    March 29, 2010 10:31 am

    I believe I read somewhere that the “love of money is the root of all kinds of evil.” When young men (or women) become wealthy overnight and lack the maturity and self-control to handle it, bad things will inevitably occur. So none of this should surprise us. In fact, it’s probably going to get worse unless the NFL gets tough and starts suspending these players for at least one or two years without pay. Your readers and I would still be in jail if we did some of these things.



  5. Kathy
    March 29, 2010 10:37 am

    You don’t see hockey players (or even baseball for the most part) doing this because even when they were younger they were not treated like they were God’s gift to the world…..football players have always been a different story, and its not right.



  6. Margie
    March 29, 2010 10:40 am

    Well said Ginny! It’s a shame that these people are so narcassistic and never learned to act like adults.



  7. strugglingwriter
    March 29, 2010 10:43 am

    Pretty close to declaring the Steelers dead to me. I’ve better things to do on a Sunday than cheer on this sorry lot. Allegedly.



  8. jf
    March 29, 2010 10:43 am

    Seems like there is a complete and total lack of leadership! Would Chuck Noll or Bill Cowher have put up with this? Wake up Tomlin!



  9. Monty
    March 29, 2010 10:43 am

    You might have to rename him Ass-Ault. Who throws a glass at someone, much less a woman?? That’s no way to keep your pimp-hand strong.

    Although, to be fair, suing for emotional distress is not far off from showing up on t.v. with a neckbrace.



  10. Tiffany
    March 29, 2010 10:47 am

    Ginny, I love you. In a totally platonic sisterhood of the traveling douchebag haters kind of way.



  11. bucdaddy
    March 29, 2010 10:49 am

    You just have to have a really low threshhold for “distress.” I see “smeared my mascara” qualifies now. And I bet the ladies agree it damn well ought to.

    I say, release Ben and Asshat. A few years of 6-10 Steelers football while they win Super Bowls with the Bengals will teach them!

    And I couldn’t agree with spoon more. Classy chicks drink craft beer!



  12. Three
    March 29, 2010 11:07 am

    Amen, sister, amen.

    But to be fair, I’ve heard stories about some of old timers (under Knoll and under Cowher) who had their share of run-ins with the law — but that was bar room brawl stuff, not sexual assault or cutting a woman’s eye over a club’s couch. Hell, even Skippy’s attacking of a paper towel dispenser and (allegedly) trying to ninja cops gave him more street cred than Holmes or Big Ben.

    To be fair, no one has been proven guilty (yet), but still — one thing I always loved about the Steelers is that the douchebag level was kept to a minimum. Guys who were going to cause off-field problems were looked over or traded away.

    My Steelers swag may stay in hibernation this year. I’m sick of this sh*t and I won’t cheer on a bunch of (alleged) douches.



  13. rossga
    March 29, 2010 11:12 am

    Amen, and right on.

    This boorish behavior must stop…now! These are the Steelers and that means something to us. If it doesn’t mean anything to them, they can just move on to somewhere else where this stuff is tolerated.



  14. PG Wodehouse
    March 29, 2010 11:20 am

    Speaking of boorish behaviour, can you tell me which Steeler related this story –

    “My sophomore year in high school I got kicked out of nine games. No, I got kicked out of all of ’em. My junior year it was nine. I ran over a few officials. Sometimes intentionally.
    “I’ll tell you how crazy I used to be. A team came to Temple and beat us, and afterwards—we had this little diner in town. I came in there, and the other team was eating. Their quarterback had an ice-cream cone. I took it away from him and smeared it all over his face. He didn’t do anything. He went back to the team bus. Then I heard somebody call my name. I turned around, and a soda bottle hit my chest, and their quarterback, the guy I’d done that way, ducked back into the bus. Like a damn fool, I went at the bus. In the front door. They all went out the back door.”



  15. SC 'Burgher
    March 29, 2010 11:22 am

    Amen sister.

    Remember the good old days? When something like this happened – it was always another team. Lately it has been all Steelers, all the time.

    I think we need to recall Mr. Rooney from Ireland and have him knock some sense into everyone from the players, to the coaching staff, to the front office and even to Art III.



  16. Not Buying It
    March 29, 2010 11:33 am

    Could this be a case of a money-hungry opportunistic woman?

    There is little doubt.

    There’s been no comment from Holmes yet. Mills’ attorney, Jacques Cooper, told the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, “We’re not really making comments in-depth about the matter at this time. We’re still looking into the matter and are waiting to hear from Mr. Holmes’ people.”



  17. Sooska
    March 29, 2010 11:34 am

    To think that Skippy’s behavior is at the high end of the threshold…I HATE that the Steelers are turning into the Bungles.

    Look, everyone knows these guys aren’t perfect, far from it. Fueled by money, huge egos and star power they don’t, or don’t want to, subscribe to discretion. These days they believe they deserve more than 15 mintues of fame and set out to score that fame. (Like “all the money, all the women, all the cars”)

    Personally, I do not want to hear about their antics, see fuzzy pictures or dim cell phone videos on the 6 pm news. Just play football, show up at charity events and shut up.



  18. Pa-pop
    March 29, 2010 11:36 am

    PITTSBURGH (AP) – In a move apparently designed to reduce publishing costs, the Pittsburgh Steelers revealed that the 2010 media guide will use player mug shots. Several sources close to the Steeler front office confirmed it was unnecessary for the team to hire a photographer given that so many individual photographs were already in the public record.



  19. Jeff
    March 29, 2010 11:42 am

    I wish your posts had a ‘like’ button. At least the Patriots have less than their fair share of this crap. If you don’t count Randy Moss running down a meter maid of course….



  20. NW PA Joe (formerly NW Joe)
    March 29, 2010 11:49 am

    While I cannot defend the actions of several current Steelers, I do not believe any of them have shot at a helicopter.

    http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/vault/article/magazine/MAG1092134/index.htm

    The Steelers may have a couple of douchebags but every team does.

    http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/turd-watch/police-blotter/



  21. kelly c
    March 29, 2010 11:49 am

    i don’t think that coming into money suddenly always leads to douchebaggery. i think these guys would be poor pricks if they had no money. on the money topic though – it KILLS ME that our athletes for the most part don’t POUR MONEY into BIG, VISIBLE, LASTING, WORTHWHILE PROJECTS IN PITTSBURGH.



  22. Pensgirl
    March 29, 2010 11:51 am

    Kathy adds the point the post didn’t cover. For so many football players, the parents and school officials let them get away with terrible behavior because the little darlings can throw, run, catch, and/or hit. They’re raised to believe they can do whatever they want, and then they’re given enough money to do whatever they want. It’s no surprise so many of them turn out to be douchebags.

    That said, they’re not off the hook for personal responsibility. In this case, three year olds are taught not to throw things at each other. Pretty sure none of these guys was discovered as a football prodigy at that age. And while it’s true that we shouldn’t just take people at their word, as Ginny so rightly says it’s not too hard to believe this allegation is pretty close to the truth (worth noting you can’t fake a cut eye).

    Sigh.



  23. facie
    March 29, 2010 11:51 am

    Ginny, you said it with,

    “Because the last thing I need to hear from a fan of another team is, “[Name of pro athlete] got arrested?! What are we, the Steelers?!””

    I think we might be worse than the Bungles now. How sad is that?

    On a somewhat related note, a friend of mine who used to wait tables in the Burgh said that Santonio was a 10 percent tipper (maybe less). I am sure most of us at some point have tipped 10 percent for bad service, but I seriously doubt this jag-off got anything but kick-ass service.



  24. burgher-licious
    March 29, 2010 11:56 am

    And this is why when contemplating which Steeler game jersey I would purchase with my hard-earned dollars – I went old school and selected Jack Lambert. THAT black and gold jersey stands for Pittsburgh and what the Steelers once were and hopefully will be again.

    The one mistake I made was getting #7 jerseys for my young daughters – I hid them in the back of the closet because I just don’t feel right about my innocent kids promoting Ben.



  25. Not Buying It
    March 29, 2010 11:59 am

    On a somewhat related note, a friend of mine who used to wait tables in the Burgh said that Santonio was a 10 percent tipper (maybe less). I am sure most of us at some point have tipped 10 percent for bad service, but I seriously doubt this jag-off got anything but kick-ass service.

    Maybe he is just a poor mathematician.



  26. CrashJK
    March 29, 2010 12:26 pm

    Personally I enjoy seeing these “golden” boys self destruct and the whole image of the Steelers washed down the drain….bwahahahaha…it’s time the entire NFL is knocked down several pegs…heros…HA ! I’ll stick with my Pens and NHL hockey. I do agree with Kathy & jf above… total lack of leadership Tomlin is the joke and will be proved again this season!



  27. Ed
    March 29, 2010 12:35 pm

    @PG Wodehouse Says…Mean Joe Greene



  28. Carpetbagger
    March 29, 2010 12:40 pm

    In response, I can only imagine that Santonio might quote the great American poet, 50 Cent:

    “You shouldn’t throw stones if you live in a glass house and if you got a glass jaw, you should watch yo mouth: cause I’ll break yo face.”



  29. red pen mama
    March 29, 2010 12:44 pm

    Overheard at lunch today: “What are we? The Ravens or something?” Please, no.

    Also: I love your dad’s comment, and what Tiffany had to say at #10. Ditto.



  30. red pen mama
    March 29, 2010 12:47 pm

    @pg Wodehouse, I was going to guess Troy or Hines.



  31. Joe K.
    March 29, 2010 12:48 pm

    So I wonder if any big draft-day trades will be in the works with these two.

    The NHL playoffs can’t get here fast enough.



  32. Jim
    March 29, 2010 12:48 pm

    So has anyone else noticed that Coach Platitude has not yet has his contract extended? The sound of the crickets chirping is deafening.



  33. BIGGEORGE
    March 29, 2010 12:50 pm

    I think the Steelers should get rid of them!!!
    I know ben is under contract, but when skippy and ssa hat came up for renewal they should have been let go!!

    Hell just get rid of Ben as well. make and example. Put the rest of the players on notice.

    No messups!!!!



  34. Joe K.
    March 29, 2010 12:55 pm

    @Jim:

    I have a tough time blaming this on Tomlin, yet. He’s not the one misbehaving. The next month or so will be telling.



  35. mis
    March 29, 2010 12:55 pm

    These players are going to mess with the wrong person and end up seriosly hurt or dead. Don’t they realize that?



  36. toni
    March 29, 2010 1:14 pm

    wodehouse that sounds like a Mean Joe Greene quote to me.



  37. Bojack
    March 29, 2010 1:17 pm

    If the events happened as claimed, I believe:

    1) He should have been charged with aggravated assault.

    2) The cops on-scene need to be suspended/charged with
    obstruction.



  38. Cnik
    March 29, 2010 1:23 pm

    The good news is that at least he wasn’t found trying to revive a dead possum.



  39. Bojack
    March 29, 2010 1:27 pm

    Be glad we don’t have a NBA team.



  40. PG Wodehouse
    March 29, 2010 1:27 pm

    Yes, It was Joe Greene. Just wanted to point out that his nickname was not some clever marketing idea. Granted, once he got to the NFL there was never a hint about any off field problems. On field was a different story.



  41. PG Wodehouse
    March 29, 2010 1:30 pm

    More to the point, he grew up which is something that Ben and Santonio have yet to do.



  42. Emilie
    March 29, 2010 1:50 pm

    Seriously Ginny – do you read my mind – cause you said, a heck of a lot more eloquently, exactly what I was thinking. What a turd. Seriously…I am so over the Steelers. First, Jeff Reed with his douchery (I’m still stunned by the paper towel holder thing), then Ben with his not one, but two allegations of sexual assault (which just confirms why I never hopped on the Big Ben bandwagon of worship) and now Santonio with more drama. Actually, Santonio started with some serious drama when he was first drafted which led me to wonder to my husband why the Steelers would take someone like him. Just because he can play ball means nothing to me – I want my players to have a little something call class. And what’s even worse is that these three assholes give the rest of the team a bad name. I think I might cheer for the Colts this season or something. They at least seem to have their act together. :\



  43. LaReina
    March 29, 2010 1:56 pm

    mis – if they don’t lay off the alcohol and stay away from cheesy bars and “nightclubs,” one of them is bound to get caught in the crossfire. Heck, Joey Porter got shot in the butt at a time of night he should have been home with his children. Is Tiger Woods taking lifestyle lessons from the Stillers, or vice versa?



  44. PittinDC
    March 29, 2010 1:57 pm

    Not to excuse the behavior of the Steelers, but really, it doesn’t matter what team you root for… pretty much every single football team now has at least one player that causes off field problems. It’s just how it works now. High draft picks come with huge egos, which can easily lead to problems. Also, fewer off field problems were reported in the past because TMZ Sports and the 24 hour news cycle didn’t exist. So who knows what former Steelers were doing. Again, I’m not condoning the alleged behavior of any of the Steelers, and they most certainly should know better, but I doubt that those before them were as saintly as we all think they were.



  45. No Princesses Here
    March 29, 2010 2:07 pm

    Sing it loud, sister. Sing it loud.



  46. Jeff
    March 29, 2010 2:29 pm

    Take heart Steelers fans, as someone who admittedly hates the Steelers, they are not the Bengals (at least not yet). The Bengals have an institutional pattern of leadership accepting and implicitly encouraging misbehavior and criminal activities through repeated hiring of past offenders. All it will take is Tomlin to come down hard, send Ben on his way, and the issue is gone. Maybe bring in a QB the line likes enough to protect???



  47. SpudMom
    March 29, 2010 2:31 pm

    PittinDc – You’re probably right. But, with changing times should come changing responses to them. Just because another era of players got away with off field shenanigans because the media chose not to report on it doesn’t mean that these players get a pass. They should know that the world no longer works that way and every stupid move on their part is going to get on the news.

    That’s not to say that people aren’t allowed to make mistakes – we’re all human, after all, but a lot of what’s going on is just plain stupid.



  48. Elmer Palmer
    March 29, 2010 3:05 pm

    I knows when Eric Green was kept by Chuck Noll that the downard slide has begun



  49. Natural Red
    March 29, 2010 3:09 pm

    Thank goodness Joey Porter is gone because he just got arrested this weekend too for DUI. And while I am not condoning what Ben did by any means, I think the majority of people beleive that first lawsuit is a bunch of bunk and it was just two people that had sex, then he forgot about her, much to her dismay.I don’t think that it shouldn’t be included in this second incident.



  50. Matt
    March 29, 2010 3:14 pm

    Unfortunately, one good season and all will be forgotten, if not forgiven. Victories feed the fans who feed the outsized egos who play the games. And public relations rehab for sexual dalliance is just a diversion away. Is Big Ben playing in the Master’s next week?