There’s several things I simply can’t do, things that others can do with ease. I can’t carry a tune. I can’t whistle. I can’t do a cartwheel. I can’t do a somersault under water. I like to blame all of those on “inner-ear issues.” It makes it seem okay.
No, I can’t parallel park. I have that, you know, inner-ear thing.
Anyways, another thing I can’t do that others seem to do quite easily is hula hoop. I used to be able to do it when I was younger, but now? It’s not like riding a bike, I tell you that.
Before she became pregnant with her most recent child, my sister was on a hula hooping stomach-toning exercise regimen and each time I was at her house and would see her watching TV while hula hooping with ease, making the hoop whip around her waist at eye-popping speeds, I’d say, self, you can do this. It’s just a little flick of the hips. Remember, you are the current household champion at Wii Hula Hooping.
And I would ask to try and I would put the hoop around my waist and I would give it a spin and the hoop would go, “PSYCH!” and fall to the ground. This would be followed by my sister falling to the ground in laughter.
So, I’d just like to say that while I’m laughing my ass off at Jim Lokay, I’m also sympathizing with him.
Go watch Jim try to hula hoop. And fail like a failing failer that fails.
But at least I have a decent excuse. You know, that inner-ear thing.