It had to happen eventually, right?
I mean, I’ve pissed off enough people, groups, and animals that eventually one of them had to issue a pounding-fist-on-the-table “SWEEP THE LEG AND TAKE HER DOWN” decree.
- The mayor probably hates me more than he hates his thinning hair, but no, as far as I know, it wasn’t him.
- Santonio Holmes hates me more than he hates proper spelling, but, not him.
- Ben Roethlisberger hates me more than he hates good personal hygiene, but, not him.
- Benny’s Fug Bunnies hate me more than they hate Benny’s hos, but, not them.
- The Dread Lord Zober hates me more than he hates kittens and rainbows, but, not him.
- Scott R. Priester hates me more than he hates smiles and laughter and joy, but, not him.
- Jeff Reed hates me more than he hates a prude holding an empty paper towel dispenser, but, not him.
- Pigeons hate me more than they hate everything in the universe, and they’ve already attempted for years for take me down, but I don’t fear them any more than I fear everyone else I just named on this list. As in, I don’t fear them. Show me an army made up of Luke Ravenstahl, Santonio Holmes, Ben Roethlisberger, Fug Bunnies, the Dread Lord, Scott Priester, Jeff Reed and a flock of pigeons and I’ll show them my Death Taser 2000x.
But PETA?! The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals? Those are some seriously scary, whacked out sons of bitches who will strip me and paint me with the blood of all of the pigeons I’ve ever murdered, before coating me with stale french fries and stringing me up the Mellon flag pole to be pecked to death by evil knowing bastards.
And THAT’S why I’ve gone anonymous again. Pulling my mask back on.
[Jedi mind trick hand wave]
You never saw me.