Putting the “loser” in “Kraken.” Did I do that right?

April 22, 2010
filed under Evgeni Malkin, Penguins, Sidney Crosby

I want you to honest to goodness try, okay, close your eyes, go to your happy place (Mine is a beach. There are self-united husbands. And Zima. And a pile of dead pigeons.), take a deep breath and REALLY REALLY TRY to imagine Sidney Crosby, or Geno Malkin, or hell, PICK A PENGUIN, ever doing this to a child.

You can’t, can you?

If anyone ever deserved a shoulder-launched hockey puck to the unprotected junk, it’s Ovechkin.

Let’s go, Pens!

(h/t @pghsciencenerd)

56 Comments

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Beth
April 22, 2010 10:34 am

That guy needs a serious beatin’. And people wonder why he’s not the face of the NHL.
Jill
April 22, 2010 10:42 am

He needs to go back to the country from which he came and live among the “regular folk” who don’t make oodles of money treating children badly.

I think you may have found someone worthly of the “asshat” moniker…btw…that would be
“Ass шляпу”…(thanks Google translator)…
CrashJK
April 22, 2010 10:48 am

what did you expect…he’s number two in the league and will remain there as long as Sidney skates…he’s a POS with a bad attitude who can play on heck of an offensive game, but his “hit to hurt” attitude and over the top showmanship makes him the asshat master (ok, when the Stiller’s QB needs an asshat sitter)…

LET’S GO PENS…KILL SWITCH TONIGHT…DO IT !
bucdaddy
April 22, 2010 10:51 am

Um … what did he do? I watched that twice and it looks like he nearly got speared by a flag pole. I don’t have audio here, so, did he call the kid a MoFo or something?
Dana
April 22, 2010 10:55 am

bucdaddy, he sprayed the kid with ice. It’s usually something reserved for the opposing team’s goalie. In all fairness, the kid was wearing a lot of pads, so maybe Ovie was confused. He doesn’t look like he has a very high IQ.
spoon
April 22, 2010 11:01 am

@bucdaddy with all that room on the bench for him there’s no excuse for shaving the kid like that. Ovie and Ben should go out whoring together. douchebags
bluzdude
April 22, 2010 11:02 am

It was a douchebag move, plain and simple. If he absolutely HAD to go in that fast and stop short, he could have led with the other foot and sprayed the ice to the left, if he wanted to.

(If the kid was wearing a Flyers jersey, I might have understood though.)
Carol P
April 22, 2010 11:02 am

ummm. I’m usually the first to call out an asshat (and he may well be one), but bucdaddy has a point.
Carol P
April 22, 2010 11:03 am

haha. BTW I’m not call bucdaddy an asshat…I mean Ovechkin.
Becky
April 22, 2010 11:06 am

Ginny,
The gals over at The Hockey Junkies have a little more info on this.

They report that the kids that hold the flags have cancer and are being treated at the Children’s Hospital in Montreal.
BurgherInDC
April 22, 2010 11:19 am

Any chance he was just joking around with the kid? Any chance that kid will always remember the day Ovie sprayed him with ice like the day I remember Andy Van Slyke taking my hat off and running around with it?

What am I saying. . . Ovechkin Sucks!!!!
elysianfantasy
April 22, 2010 11:22 am

It bothers me that Sid haters think this flaming bag of yak snatch is better! Any doofus can be a top goal scorer in the league when he’s a puck hog! Anyone who shaves a little kid, especially a little kid with cancer, deserves a major beat down.
Becky
April 22, 2010 11:25 am

@elysianfantasy…totally agree…btw..you owe me a Coke…I just sprayed my computer screen over “flaming bag of yak snatch”…..
Little Miss Misha
April 22, 2010 11:29 am

As soon as I saw that video, it automatically reminded me of this one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnL4wJt5Aqo

He hits a female fan. He sprays a child with ice. This guy is more deserving of the asshat moniker than anyone I can think of.
Lauren
April 22, 2010 11:49 am

The smugness of this guy is just incredible. If he wanted to give that little boy a memorable moment, he could of stopped and shook his hand. Instead, he makes sure the whole show is all about HIM, and to me it looks like he’s wondering why that little kid is in the Great Ape’s, er, Eight’s, way. If the Flyers and Caps play in the next round, and that’s the way things are looking, I hope he gets what’s coming to him and then some.
Pa-pop
April 22, 2010 11:53 am

(MONTREAL) – In a highly unusual exercise as a sports commissioner, the NFL’s Roger Goodell today issued a six game suspension of high-scoring Washington Capital center Alex Ovechkin for spraying ice shavings at a six-year-old flag waving child who was participating in pre-game ceremonies prior to the Capitals playoff game with the Montreal Canadiens. Asked if he was overreaching his authority as football commissioner, Goodell replied, “I don’t care. The guy’s an asshole. And I have the flaming bag of yak snatch (® elysianfantasy) to prove it.”

AP 4-22 11:51 AED
cmitch
April 22, 2010 12:00 pm

He shaved the kid with some ice from the waist down….OH NOOO!…He may have been mildly wet for like 15 minutes.

Frankly that kid has an awesome story to tell so kudos to him.
johnaz6312
April 22, 2010 12:10 pm

The kid got a liitle snow in the face. Its not like idiot checked him into the boards. Kids that age have already been exposed to that in Canada, he’ll live.

But, before the screaming & yelling starts, Idiot could have picked on someone his own size.
Tiffany
April 22, 2010 12:17 pm

He is a major doucheketeer.
facie
April 22, 2010 12:23 pm

When Ovie’s picture appeared on screen the last time the Pens played Washington, my six-year-old daughter said something like he is a mean guy or that we don’t like him. I admit I got a little teary. Of course she also tells me that I don’t really love Sidney Crosby (uh, yes, I do) and she could not understand why Sid did not apologize for checking Rutuu into the boards, but what can you do.

Go, Pens!
elysianfantasy
April 22, 2010 12:33 pm

@ Becky & Pa-pop, I’m glad I could provide a little humor. :) One of my dearest friends and I have been calling each other that for YEARS when we do so or say something questionable.
Joe K.
April 22, 2010 12:49 pm

Eh, not that I like Ovie at all, but, let’s not make a mountain out of a molehill. It’s like giving your little brother a noogie.
PA Girl in VA
April 22, 2010 1:19 pm

@facie – Your daughter is on the right track and with a little parental guidance, she’ll get it one day! As far as Sid and Ruutu are concerned, they are former teammates and, therefore, it is not necessary for Sid to apologize. Besides, Ruutu’ll chomp your fingers off if you agitate him enough (just ask Andrew Peters), so it’s best to just avoid him altogether. (For the record, I miss having Ruuto on OUR side).
Sooska
April 22, 2010 1:53 pm

It’s called a bush league move in any sport.
unsatisfied
April 22, 2010 2:17 pm

in other news, the succos are getting blasted for the 3rd game in a row by the brewers.

THIS IS THE YEAR!!!

and, oh yeah, ovechkin is a douche.
L-A
April 22, 2010 2:55 pm

i hate ovechkin, but that kid prolly thought it was cool. can’t imagine sid or geno doing that, but that’s not their style.
Washingtonian
April 22, 2010 2:59 pm

Let me start off by saying I live in Dc but have mainly Pittsburgh roots. I am a big steelers fan. I never had any hatred towards the Pens but am starting to due to the fans. However, i must say that only yinzers from Pittsburgh think Sid is better than Ovechkin. I only need one fact to prove it. THE PLAYERS AND COACHES IN THE NHL VOTED OVECHKIN THE BEST PLAYER IN THE LEAGUE 2 YEARS IN A ROW. Anybody with a more reputable opinion than an NHL player or coach please chime in. PS How dare OV act like he is having fun playing the game he loves for millions of dollars? Did it ever cross your mind that maybe he wanted to give that kid a memory?
Smiley
April 22, 2010 3:16 pm

Washingtonian, we have two facts to disprove your one fact: Cup & Gold
unsatisfied
April 22, 2010 3:20 pm

when the hell did crapitals fans start posting here?

btw — brewers 16, succos the big bagel.
DG
April 22, 2010 3:33 pm

@Washingtonian:
The problem is you’re trying to rationalize with sports fans. As a Pens fan, I reserve the right to hold on to my hatred of all things Ovechkin, just the same as my Steelers fandom permits me the right to hate Tom Brady with the passion of a thousand suns. It’s part of what makes watching sports fun. If Flyers and Caps fans want to harbor an irrational hate of Sidney Crosby, so be it. I will begrudgingly admit that both of the objects of my hate are actually rediculously good players at what they do, but I still hate them. Hope this clears it up.
bluzdude
April 22, 2010 3:34 pm

@ 27
Hey genius, you do realize that the award Ovie won twice is for being most valuable to HIS TEAM, don’t you? That does not necessarily equal Best Player in the League.

Considering that he puts up a ton of shots and goals, and if you took that away from the Caps, they’d be left with diddly squat for scoring, and the Caps still won a playoff series, who else would you expect to win MVP?

Take Sid away from the Pens and you still have Geno, scoring champion from last year.

Sid is by far the more complete player. He decided he needed to be better at faceoffs and bang, he won more this year than anyone in the league. He decided we needed to score more and bang, he led the league in goals. (which included only 1 empty netter.) The guy backchecks, hits and clears pucks off the goal line. Ovie wouldn’t know a back check from a rain check.

And like Smiley said, 1 Cup, 1 Gold, (so far) both won while making his teammates better and leading both on and off the ice. He is the antithesis of the “Hey Look at Me” kind of player that Ovechkin is.

Lastly, I’m sure the kid knows that getting the snow shower is a sign of disrespect in the NHL, not something to write home about. It was an unnecessary douchebag move.

End of rant.
bluzdude
April 22, 2010 3:37 pm

DG,
I agree to a point, but my problem is not the hate, it’s that the hate has blinded the obvious.

I may hate Tom Brady, but I’d be an idiot to claim that he wasn’t any good.

I think Ovechkin is an amazing scorer, but that’s it. I think it takes more than that to be the “Best Player in the League”, if there can be such a thing.
cmitch
April 22, 2010 3:55 pm

@bluzdude

So you are telling me that as a child if Ovechkin did that to you, you wouldn’t tell every single person you knew?

I personally don’t think that he was doing it to play with the kid, the kid was waving the flag pointing forward and Ovechkin stopped short. Could he have tried a little harder to not spray the kid, probably. Could we all take a deep breath and realize that it was a little bit of frozen water that in no way injured or even affected the kid’s ability to wave his flag??

/Going back to hating all Capitals, and Flyers, and Devils
DG
April 22, 2010 3:59 pm

bluzdude:

You expect hate riddled sports fans to see the obvious? Good luck with that.

BUT I agree with you re: Ovie.
NAM
April 22, 2010 4:03 pm

Wow, just when I thought he couldn’t get any worse! I hope they end playing the Flyers and they leave bite marks all over his sorry self.
spoon
April 22, 2010 4:10 pm

Final Score: Brewers 20 – Succos 0

LETS GO PENS!

Oh yeah, “flaming bag of yak snatch” is my new fav term. Ovie is still a douche.
Schuyler
April 22, 2010 4:31 pm

I strongly dislike Ovechkin, but my 10-year-old hockey-playing son likes him. (I’m working on him … he’s coming around …) I showed him this and said, “Look what your superstar did to this kid” and you know what he said … “That would’ve been cool!” I’m sure he was just messing with the kid. Would Sid do it, no … he would have stopped and had a conversation with him and thanked him for holding the flag. And that’s why we love Sid!!
CC
April 22, 2010 4:32 pm

That would make them outscored 36 to 1 in the Brewers series.
bluzdude
April 22, 2010 4:33 pm

@cmitch,
Yes, I’d tell everyone I knew he was a douchebag. Like I said, it’s not a matter of being harmed by the snow shower. It’s a well-known sign of disrespect… to a little kid with cancer.

He could have gotten to the bench via the other door or over the boards, if he felt the flag was crowding him.
More of the same
April 22, 2010 4:33 pm

Um, This is the year?

http://scores.espn.go.com/mlb/recap?gameId=300422123
Tom Pendergast
April 22, 2010 4:42 pm

Gotta add me to the “did I miss something?” contingent. Even if there was any sort of “bad conduct” here (I obviously don’t see it) you need to realize that pro athletes deal with this “Pro Wrestling” fog and spotlight nonsense every day. I seriously doubt he was paying a bit of attention to the silliness, more likely getting his game face on.
cmitch
April 22, 2010 5:03 pm

hahaha, I’m sure that kid was thinking “THAT SONUVA BITCH!! How dare he disrespect me like that!”
Heather
April 22, 2010 5:16 pm

Oh please. He wasn’t playing with the kid. If he was, he’d have patted his shoulder or something. He was just being his usual douchey self. “oooh, look how cool I am, I can spray ice all over a 6 year old cancer patient.”

Jack. Ass.
Pensgirl
April 22, 2010 5:35 pm

For those of you who don’t get it, it’s not the actual act that’s a problem as much as the attitude the act represents.

Spraying someone is sometimes done in fun, sometimes not. But racing as hard as you can across the ice towards someone and stopping short in front of him at the last second is pretty much universally regarded as a sign of disrespect. It’s the hockey player’s special brand of flipping someone off. Ovechkin might as well have looked the kid right in the eyes and said “Fuck you, kid.”

In games, spraying opponents (usually happens to goalies after whistles) gets you jumped. Doing it after racing in over a fair distance has at least on occasion resulted in a trip to the box for unsportsmanlike conduct.
unsatisfied
April 22, 2010 6:54 pm

in other news, the original asshat says goodbye to steelers fans:

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/10112/1052591-66.stm

judging from the quality of his tweets, methinks he had some help…
Lauren
April 22, 2010 6:55 pm

@Pensgirl- That’s what I was trying to get at. Whether there was malice behind it or he was trying to give the kid “something to remember,” it was how he went about it. This was a pregame ceremony for the Canadiens. Why couldn’t he have just stayed out of it? I didn’t see any other Caps players on the bench. Instead, OV thought only of himself and what his little routine was, interfered with a ceremony, and basically looked like a douche. That’s who he is.

@ Washingtonian- When did you start caring about hockey? Are you rocking the red? How many times have the Caps beaten the Pens in the play-offs? How many Cups has OV won? Yup, come talk to us when you like the answers to all those questions.
cmd_45
April 22, 2010 8:10 pm

Just in the name of objectivity: did the Kracken assault anyone or do illegal drugs? No. Would it be a complete lack of objectivity to say that what he did on that ice was not mean-spirited, absolutely. It’s not criminal but a definite lack of class…which is no surprise. What would most hockey players have done? Stayed where they were supposed to stay during the ceremony. Just not Ovie.
jennviolet
April 22, 2010 8:14 pm

That actually kracks my shit up. It made me chuckle.
jennviolet
April 22, 2010 8:15 pm

Obviously I don’t have kids. ;)
USCMike
April 22, 2010 8:20 pm

It all comes down to a matter of class and in Ovie’s case he’s got the same amount of class that the Pirates scored today – ZERO!