High. Low. Puke.

After a week-long stretch through hell in which they lost, and I’m going to estimate because I can’t bring myself to go find the actual numbers, seven games in a row by a run differential of about what? 80?, the Pirates managed to beat the Milwaukee Brewers at Miller Park for the first time in THREE YEARS.

Something like 22 games since they’ve won at Miller Park, and yesterday, they managed to break the curse with a score of 7-3, which is fantastic because it means we can continue to report Buccos scores in football terms. While the past several games they’ve lost by three touchdowns each, this time, their touchdown beat a field goal!

The Buccos are taking us to the highest of highs, leading the bandwagon up to the stars where we see heaven and angels and hear pigeons getting their wings ripped off, and then the Buccos set off a shoe bomb in first class and nose dive us so far down to the bowels of hell that we can smell Satan’s farts, and then back up to the clouds again.

If this bandwagon roller coaster ride doesn’t level off soon, I’m going to puke.

And since I’m driving, those of you in the back might want to, I don’t know, duck.


  1. Elle C.
    April 28, 2010 1:22 pm

    two posts in one day about vomit/puke. nice.

    i am in on this pirates bandwagon, but they’re making it harder and harder to believe!

  2. Bojack
    April 28, 2010 1:30 pm

    “…highest of highs..” ???

    Did I miss something? Coma since 1979??

    I’ve only seen from toilet to overflowing outhouse!

  3. Me
    April 28, 2010 1:34 pm

    The Pirates won because the Brewers arms were tired after getting so many hits in the previous games…

  4. lovesthenorthside
    April 28, 2010 1:39 pm

    i mentioned to my husband that the brewers must have brought their kids to work yesterday, which is why the buccos won. he thought that was a slight to the brewers’ kids, and replied that the pirates brought THEIR kids to work, thus the win.

  5. butcher's dog
    April 28, 2010 2:14 pm

    Satan’s Farts would make an awesome name for a punk rock band. Just sayin’.

    And Politicalpartypooper, you who predicted a 6-game Brewer sweep a couple of weeks ago…you like apples? How ’bout them apples!!! Three jacks, including one with the bases juiced, not to mention the very disorienting sight of a Bucco starter pitching into the seventh inning. and the best is yet to come!

  6. Matt
    April 28, 2010 2:19 pm

    If my math is correct, at the rate things are going now, the buccos will finish the season 65–97-0 and they’ll be outscored by their opponents 1215-584.

  7. Sooska
    April 28, 2010 2:37 pm

    It’s called the hidden vigorish, Ginny. The longer the losing streak, the closer they come to winning.

    Also, the longer the winning streak, the closer they come to losing (but we don’t know about that part.)

    Now that they have won they will go back to losing again.

  8. Just A Simple Man
    April 28, 2010 5:34 pm

    How long can you stay on top of a roller-coaster hill? Hold your arms up get ready; they are tied today 5-5 in the top of the 14th!

  9. Just A Simple Man
    April 28, 2010 5:52 pm

    And the roller-coaster is rolling!!!
    Winners 6-5 in 14!

  10. Politicalpartypooper
    April 28, 2010 5:53 pm

    Congratulations to the Pirates for breaking their twenty-two game losing streak at Miller Park. Also, Congratulations to them for winning today as well.

    My Brewers have a problem. Trevor Hoffman is broke, and I tried to put him back together, but there’s all these parts left over. Should I do what I usually do, and just throw them away?

  11. Boones Farm
    April 28, 2010 5:54 pm

    OMG, they’re turning it around! I guess anything’s possible now.

  12. Bram R
    April 28, 2010 6:41 pm

    “the Pirates managed to beat the Milwaukee Brewers at Miller Park for the first time in THREE YEARS.”

    The highest of highs? The clouds? A roller coaster ride? This is more like skydiving, and this win is the few remaining Bucs fans bouncing off the ground. I wouldn’t watch a Pirate game now if you flashed me. All four of you.

  13. Luke Steelerstahl
    April 28, 2010 7:24 pm

    Dammit! I need Pittsburgh teams to do good so that the populace doesn’t pay attention to all my misdeeds!

  14. bluzdude
    April 28, 2010 10:59 pm

    Rather than the roller coaster, I think they’re more like the thing where you spin around and around, then the bottom falls out. then you puke.

  15. butcher's dog
    April 29, 2010 8:03 am

    No one seems to be taking me up on the rock band name. However, here’s a test: if you’d let your 12-15 year old daughter out the door wearing a shirt that says “Satan’s Farts” on the front and “Sniffer” on the back, we’re calling CYS. Immediately.

  16. Joe K.
    April 29, 2010 9:42 am

    Did anyone catch the “boat-raced” quote by Ryan Doumit?

    “You can get absolutely boat-raced one day, then come back the next and put the hurt on the same team.”

    I think the Pens are gonna boat race Montreal in five games.

  17. Tim
    April 29, 2010 9:49 am

    Ginny, you are hilarious, and you’ve assembled quite a crowd of hilarious followers.

    Pittsburgh Pirates were my favourite team when I was a kid in Ohio. Now I like them because they make you mad and generate whirlwind posts that make my day. Sorry :-)

  18. Cassie
    April 29, 2010 2:14 pm

    according to wikipedia:

    from the Robert Nutting wikipedia page – ‘Robert Nutting refuses to sell the Pirates even though his ownership has done nothing positive for helping the team have winning seasons. Nutting has little support from the city of Pittsburgh and is not safe inside PNC Park.’

  19. Steve in Denver
    April 29, 2010 4:17 pm

    If I played for the Pirates, I would show up for every game completely wasted and would strive to become a highlight reel regular for on-field hijinks and debauchery. Wtf else would there be to play for?

  20. Jillian
    April 30, 2010 5:59 pm

    I’ve gotta say, it stings a little to now be one of the rungs in the Pirates climb to…the middle.