Yesterday morning in the throes of the hustle and bustle that happens in my home each morning, between getting one kiddo ready for school and all that that entails (homework done? Will you eat something called [looks at lunch menu] Doggone Chicken or do I need to pack you a lunch? water bottle? teeth brushed?), and trying to keep another kiddo from stripping herself of all clothing and running around the house screaming “NAKEY GIRL!” at the top of her lungs, I sought out my husband planning to ask him to run the boy child over to the bus stop while I convinced the girl child that clothes are not optional in this house and good luck getting that sundress off all by yourself, sister.
I found my husband had already jumped in the shower. That is to say, he was showering.
WHILE PLAYING POKER ON HIS IPHONE!
Internet, look at this.
Yes, I peeked in the shower, he’s completely lathered in soap and he’s using a pinkie finger to play poker on an iPhone that’s now covered in tiny tiny drops of water spray.
I said incredulously, “You cannot be serious. Are you freaking kidding me? Where is my camera? The WORLD is going to see this, you lunatic.”
And now you have.
Oh, and in the time it took me to find him in the shower, notice the iPhone, find my camera, and snap a picture while he laughed his soapy butt off at the expression on my face, my girl child found the boy child’s “safety” scissors in the kitchen drawer and apparently tried to cut herself out of her restrictive sundress hell.
And I miraculously did not bust open a bottle of wine at 7:30 a.m.