There’s a lot of things I dread happening.
The eventual demise of every Hollywood marriage I think is “awwwww, cute!”
My first speeding ticket. OMG KNOCK ON WOOD. I’m so getting a ticket next week for jinxing it like that. I mean, I could delete it, but I already typed it out and no backsies.
My next gray hair.
Jeff Reed’s next arrest.
Benny’s first game back as a Steeler.
Above all, the thing I’m dreading the most lately? The first negative story about Sidney Crosby’s off-the-ice behavior.
I keep wondering, when am I going to hear he got wasted on the South Side, grabbed some girl’s boobs before smacking her on the ass and making a five-hole joke? When am I going to hear he refused to sign autographs? When am I going to hear he was cited for public urination, intoxication, or indecency? When did I become so cynical of professional athletes’ ability to stay humble, grounded, in a proper perspective, and out of jail?
So I read this and I got a little “ruh roh.”
The team’s highest-profile player also will be making a move on his own. Or, to be more precise, out on his own.
Center and captain Sidney Crosby has bought a home in the Pittsburgh area after a few years of looking for the right place. He has not yet occupied it.
Since he arrived in Pittsburgh as a rookie shortly after his 18th birthday for the start of 2005-06, Crosby, now 22, has lived during the season with the family of Mario Lemieux, the Penguins’ Hall of Fame center and now co-owner. Crosby’s new house is not far from the Lemieux home.
Part of me is all, “Good for you, Sid! Go be an adult in your own house. You’ve earned it because you’re more grown up than some men two decades older than you and because you have a billion dollars and you might as well start spending it. Related: I like diamonds.”
Another part of me is all, “Is this where it starts?”
I don’t share the stories, but I am often emailed fantastic stories about Sidney. Unbelievably fantastic. The yin to Benny’s yang. That sounded dirty. Moving on.
The cynic in me is just sitting here waiting for the other hockey skate to drop.
I’m going to put my cynicism aside and tell myself that despite recent events (Tiger Woods, Benny, LT, Tiki Barber), not all athletes become assholes. Sid’s got too much to lose, too many family members who won’t let him change now that he’ll be on his own, too much fear of Nathalie Lemieux showing up at his house with marching orders from his mother to ground his butt and drag him back to Natalie’s house by his ear, too much love for Mario to ever disappoint him, too much respect for the kids who look up to him to ever tarnish his public image, and probably way too much security for me to stalk him at his new place without getting arrested.
I’m also dreading my first restraining order.