The Trib has a story in their Living section about designer swimsuits designed to hide the body flaws of women with less than perfect bodies.

Let’s take a look at the pictures that go with the story:

What a bunch of lard-asses! I don’t think a swimsuit with tummy-slimming panels is going to hide all that cottage cheese blubber. What these cows need is some gastric bypass.


  1. Hampton
    May 21, 2010 3:51 pm

    Good Lord! Someone sic Jamie Oliver on these fatties.

  2. unsatisfied
    May 21, 2010 3:55 pm

    someone needs a primanti’s sandwich….

  3. Sooska
    May 21, 2010 3:59 pm

    They should have used these “modest” swimsuits” instead to cover up the flab and blubber.

  4. Dana
    May 21, 2010 4:08 pm

    I’m not sure what flaws the last swimsuit would cover. Unless nipples are considered flaws? Because that’s about all the top is covering.

  5. Lauren
    May 21, 2010 4:19 pm

    Last one is probably for women with small boobs. And people wonder why women go all apeshit over how fat they are…

  6. Carpetbagger
    May 21, 2010 4:20 pm

    But the PG is right! Those suits make those fatties look totally hot. Wonder if they’d work for me? Remember, the mirror adds forty pounds.

  7. Steverino
    May 21, 2010 4:35 pm

    What disgusting obese models. Finger down the throat time for these girls. You’re not considered attractive unless ribs and clavicle bones are showing.

  8. Amy
    May 21, 2010 4:41 pm

    Aaaaannnndddd…this might be why little girls have bad body images. Wow. Somebody put those girls on Weight Watchers, pronto! They are at least a size 2! That’s like a size 14, which as we all know is not normal at all. (shakes head)

  9. O
    May 21, 2010 4:48 pm

    What are you talking about? That second model is Yarone Zober. That suit is a friggin’ miracle!

  10. Cathyfc
    May 21, 2010 5:12 pm

    I want one of those suits!!

  11. Rajneesh
    May 21, 2010 6:06 pm

    Nothing some large implants and anorexia can’t fix!

  12. NewBurgher
    May 21, 2010 6:07 pm

    Yes, about the same models they use to sell Spanx, as if those anorexic bimbos needed “body shapers” to begin with LOL

  13. mfj
    May 21, 2010 6:25 pm

    I can’t find any flaws. I think I would need more time, say a long weekend with one or two of the models, someplace away from distractions, where I can really put in the time and discover those body flaws. I’m willing to make that effort, if it’s for Science.

  14. Luke Steelerstahl
    May 21, 2010 6:42 pm

    I’ve hit that

  15. Moonbeam's Momma
    May 21, 2010 8:08 pm

    I will take one of each of those suits if it will make my Momma the Hutt self look like any one of those pictures!

  16. Jenny
    May 21, 2010 8:33 pm

    What I really like is that the red one has her shoulders and head cocked in that subservient, puppy dog, please don’t beat me I’m a good girl body language. Because that’s what men really want, right Trib? Nice.

  17. Joe K.
    May 21, 2010 8:34 pm

    My dad used to say about commercials for exercise equipment or gyms: “How come they show people who don’t need to exercise?’

  18. Joe K.
    May 21, 2010 8:37 pm

    @mfj #13: Yes. More research is needed, for sure.

  19. HorseShoeBend
    May 21, 2010 8:51 pm

    More Please!

  20. Xena
    May 21, 2010 9:03 pm

    I own suit #3. It does have a slimming effect but that effect, alas, is relative.

  21. bucdaddy
    May 21, 2010 11:37 pm


  22. bucdaddy
    May 22, 2010 2:14 am

    Some fat heads put this together.

  23. LaReina
    May 22, 2010 8:09 am

    I look exactly like the girl in the leopard-print bikini. So does Lamont Jones. Too bad this wasn’t about one of his fashion articles.

  24. Beth
    May 22, 2010 10:03 am

    I think the really important question here is “Where in the hell can I get those wedges?” Want, want, want!!!

  25. Patricia
    May 22, 2010 1:17 pm

    The best example of this insanity is when they write those “accept your body” articles in magazines and have these same type photos. They’re really saying “accept your body if it looks like this.” We moms of young girls really have our work cut out for us.

  26. Norf Side Betty
    May 22, 2010 6:33 pm

    I must get one of those if that’s what I’d look like! Wow – and I’ve been stressing over exercise and eating right when all I need is one of these suits to look like a supermodel!

  27. Matt
    May 22, 2010 7:13 pm

    Once again, I speak for your readers with a Y chormosome to express our gratitude for attending to our needs, even if it is packaged as social critique on female self-image. We don’t really care about the context. This helps compensate for your Daniel Sepulveda and Tyler Grisham fixation.

  28. Marlene
    May 22, 2010 10:27 pm

    I saw that article too and thought the same thing.

  29. bucdaddy
    May 23, 2010 10:07 am

    Here are the flaws these suits are covering:

    Girl 1: Hair too straight, wishes it had more body.

    2. Boobs too big. Tired of attracting so many men and a few women.

    3. Slouches. Suit needs to have a yardstick sewn in the back.

    4. Too tan, I think. But I’m still looking … still looking … still …

  30. Butcher's Dog
    May 24, 2010 7:23 am

    Amen to Matt #28! And, as a former teacher, I worry about the self-image thing. Takes more than Mom, though, to get their minds right. Takes the schools, other activities that enhance their sense of worth separate from a physical presence, and it helps if their friends don’t obsess over the Twiggy look.

    I fully expect at least part of this run-up week to Memorial Day to be all topless men in spandex. We’ve (us men) gotta pay somehow for having these pix at the top of the pile all weekend!

  31. Tracy
    May 27, 2010 11:06 am

    Amen! I mentioned it on my facebook page because YEAH.

    It’s the same with plus-size catalogues – they always show them on the smallest-sized models they can. If it’s 14-32, they show them on size 14 models. Being a size 32, that’s NO HELP FOR ME whatsoever.

    But dude. None of those girls up there have ANY flaws.

    Especially not after Photoshop’s had its wicked way with them.

    I’d kill puppies to own that second-to-last swimsuit. It’s stunning. But they don’t make it to fit actual lard-asses. I checked.

  32. Liz
    May 27, 2010 12:04 pm

    Someone feed them a sandwich please, the bottom one is so skinny it’s sickening.