Not since that “cloaca” email shortly after I revealed my identity has a comment from a pigeon lover had me this ROTFLMAO.
Enjoy this gem posted over on my curling column at Pittsburgh Magazine’s site, a column that was accompanied by this kickass illustration by Patrick Neil:
The Curling Queen photo – hitting a pigeon with the stone – is just what the OLYMPICS needs to DESTROY its image!
Let’s all NOT cheer when we see self-centered self-serving athletes hurting wildlife for fun, or for some stupid picture – which might show just how shallow and inane-minded some of these athletes REALLY ARE! This says a lot about what the Olympics has devolved into – promoting animal abuse and idiocy in its athletes.
The Pittsburgh Magazine – for publishing this kind of trash photography – CONDEMNS itself in the minds of the millions who don’t take abuse of animals as a joke. SHAME ON YOU PITTSBURGH MAGAZINE!
1. This reader apparently thinks I’m an actual Olympian. WIN! Also, no. Proof:
2. This reader apparently has never heard of Photoshop and believes that we actually took a physical flesh and doom pigeon and had me aim a 40 lb. stone at it over and over again until BLAMMO! I wish!
3. I have no control or say in the illustrations the magazine places with my writing. I never asked that a pigeon be included each month. The mag and its illustrators just do that all on their own ’cause they’re awesome like that.
4. “promoting animal abuse and idiocy in its athletes.” Again, I’m just giddy she/he thinks I’m an actual Olympian. I could get used to this.
I’m starting to get a big head about it. I’m going to start requesting that the Olympic theme be blasted everywhere I go to announce my arrival, and then I’ll make my grand entrance, pull a pigeon out of my pocket, toss it in the air and shoot it out of the sky with a stun gun to coincide with the crescendo of the music.