Evil versus Evilererer

Hey hey hey! Stop punching your monitor! Geez.

The Stanley Cup Finals are kicking off soon and unless a flock of flightless iceberg-dwelling birds shows up, the Penguins will not be there.

Who will be there will be the Philadelphia Flyers and the Chicago Blackhawks.

And this is where I have to make a decision.

Do I cheer for evil in the form of the hated Flyers, a team I hate as much as the Red Wings? A team whose name I spit after I speak it so as to clear my mouth of the bitter taste of pestilence? Ptooie! Ptooie!

Or do I cheer for the Chicago Blackhawks, who I am very meh about but who currently employ one Marian Hossa, a man — my parents always taught me to never hate anyone, so to quote Rashad Evans in speaking of Rampage Jackson, “I strongly dislike that mother[bleeper].” — a man whose name I spit after I speak it, then flip the double bird, then do that hand under the chin thing, then do that wrist in the crook of the arm thing, then even do that fake Friends swear gesture with the sideways double wrist bump? A man whose balls I have repeatedly and emphatically requested on a stick … charred?

Evil versus Evilerererer.

Who do I want holding our Cup up in the air in triumph?

Brace yourselves.

Marian Hossa.

Don’t hate me, Pittsburgh!

I cannot root for the Flyers. I will not root for the Flyers.

And, sigh, I have to admit this. Marian has paid his dues for leaving Pittsburgh because he thought the Red Wings had a better chance at winning the Cup.

First, NEENER NEENER NEENER, ya dumbass.

Second, I don’t know when my heart started softening toward him, but it did very very recently. He watched the Red Wings hoist the Cup as a Penguin. He watched the Penguins hoist the Cup as a Red Wing and my heart exploded with evil joy (there’s such a thing).

I think he was punished more than enough not only by watching his old team win the Cup he thought they were incapable of winning, but also by my continual stabbing of the Marian Hossa Voodoo Doll of Hockey Justice … in the charred balls. That’s gotta smart.

He hasn’t sought it, but I forgive him. I’m ready to see him smile again, even if he’s got to be wearing a Blackhawks jersey to do it.

Please be gentle with me in the comments, Burghers. I’m disappointed in me too.

[bitchslaps self] [tosses Marian Hossa Voodoo Doll of Hockey Justice in the trash]

Go Hawks!


  1. Dana
    May 25, 2010 10:14 am

    There are lot of kids from Philly who are students at Pitt. I hate the team because their fans are literally the worst fans in professional sports. I got shoved and harrassed by a (male) Flyers fan earlier in the season for wearing a Crosby jersey IN PITTSBURGH. I almost called the cops.

    So yeah, go Hawks.

  2. strugglingwriter
    May 25, 2010 10:15 am

    You made the right choice. I would cheer for Lord Voldemort himself if he were skating against the Flyers.

  3. Lauryn
    May 25, 2010 10:15 am

    I’m with you! I had the internal discussion last night while watching the Flyers dismantle the Habs one last time.

    There are many things I can do in sport. Rooting for the Flyers is not one of them. Go Hawks!

  4. Becky
    May 25, 2010 10:20 am

    Simply put I cannot cheer for Filthyadelphia….so GO HAWKS!

  5. laurenhbg
    May 25, 2010 10:22 am

    I don’t think you’ll get much hate from us minions – I completely agree. I cannot and WILL NOT ever ever ever cheer for the Cryers. YUCK.

  6. spoon
    May 25, 2010 10:23 am

    I’m seriously torn but here’s what it came down to.

    1) Keep the cup in PA so the state tourism people can make some $$$ with “Pennsylvania – The State of Lord Stanley”. If I see that on any shirts or posters send me royalties.

    2) Never cheer outside your conference. In baseball you cheer for the NL, in football its the AFC. Its YOUR group.

    3) Hossa factor – I hate him. hate hate hate. He is the epitome of being a douchebag in modern day sports. He does not deserve to win a cup. EVER!

    4) Rivalry – Pens and Flyers as the last 2 cup winners. Do you realize this just took the rivalry up to a level of potential rioting. Next season is going to be freaking BEAUTIFUL!

    5) Chicago – The only thing they’re deserving to win is an NBA title and thats because its a meaningless sport of thugs. White Sox? They really don’t exist.

    6) 2010-11 season – There’s no bigger kick in the nuts to Philly than Pittsburgh knocking the defending champs out of the playoffs next year and winning the Cup back.

    In other words… Flyers in 6.

  7. Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl
    May 25, 2010 10:26 am

    Flyers suck. Flyers suck. Flyers suck. Ginny, you’re making the right choice. I can root for the Commonwealth of PA when the teams from Philly are in the Super Bowl (unless playing the Steelers) or World Series, but there’s no way on God’s green earth that I can ever, ever, ever, root for the Cryers. Flyers suck. Flyers suck. Flyers suck. Besides, we beat Chicago for our second Cup so it’s ok if they win it against the other Pennsylvania team.

  8. bluzdude
    May 25, 2010 10:36 am

    There is no team in the world that I would root for the Flyers to beat. They are evil incarnate and their fans are made up of the worst parts of the human gene pool.

    I would root for a team put together by Al Queda over the Flyers. At least the Queda team would have the decency to blow themselves up if they lost.

    Hossa? Eh… he’s a blip. The Hawks have always been my second favorite team. I lived in Chicago as a little kid and that’s where I learned about hockey, so I’ve always had a soft spot for the Blackhawks of Stan Mikita, Bobby Hull, and Tony Esposito. (Yinz kin look’em up.)

    I loathe the day that The Cup is defiled from having been won by the Flyers.

  9. Monty
    May 25, 2010 10:41 am

    No brainer. Here’s the point — the way you feel about Hossa is the way all of Philly thinks about The Kid. Rooting for the Flyers would bring a massive goocher to the Pens for years to come.

    There’s no reason that Hossa’s tenders can’t get charred en route to a Blackhawks victory.

  10. Carey
    May 25, 2010 10:46 am

    I’m over it. No need to apologize. Definitely the right call; 100%. GO HAWKS!

    Sure the hate for Hossa was very strong, but the fact is that the Pens got the job done. It was fun seeing him on the losing side last year, and laughing because he should have believed in the team. I guess I couldn’t blame him since he wanted to win the cup so bad, but I felt that it was just wrong.

    Since the Pens won, it was pure relief knowing that he made the wrong call, but it’s a loss for him so I guess I shouldn’t have to care where he ends up.

    But the history between the Pens & Flyers goes way back, even before Hossa became relevant. I just cannot (and will not) put that aside in favor of watching one man lose the final for the third consecutive year. I might laugh again, but I won’t be rooting for that to happen at all.

    PA or no, rooting for Philly here is a no no. I didn’t even root for them against Jersey. This was when the Pens needed Philly to win in case Washington won over the Habs, which would have meant traveling to Jersey for Round 2. That scenario didn’t play out, but in other words, I wouldn’t root for Philly to win even if it benefits the Pens, but that’s just me. GO HAWKS!

  11. Jess
    May 25, 2010 10:47 am

    I’m jumping on the Blackhawks bandwagon. I like enough of their other players to override my (fading) dislike of Hossa.

  12. lovesthenorthside
    May 25, 2010 10:49 am

    employing my sophisticated march madness-winner-picking-method: hawks in 6.

    and i don’t want to tempt that karma boomerang by cheering for those thugs on skates from philly.

  13. lovesthenorthside
    May 25, 2010 10:51 am

    forgot to disclose my winner-picking method: nicer jerseys.

  14. unsatisfied
    May 25, 2010 10:58 am

    why choose?

    I cheer for no one but the pens.

    and, I won’t be watching.

  15. Lauren
    May 25, 2010 11:00 am

    Scott Hartnell. Dan Carcillo. Way more hockey hate for them than for Hossa. Besides, the entire Blackhawks team is going to explode this offseason because they’re so over the cap; this is like their big chance.

    P.S. Versteeg or Sharp in a Pens jersey? Yes please.

  16. Jagoff
    May 25, 2010 11:00 am

    Good choice Ginny. I don’t want the Cup in PA if it has to reside in Philly. I don’t want to see Hartnell, Carcillo, Cote, Briere, etc. touching the greatest trophy sports have to offer. I would sooner hand it to Ovechkin. I don’t care.

  17. Ash
    May 25, 2010 11:00 am

    I am with you. I definitely think the whole Marian Hossa hate is over. I am and have been cheering for the Blackhawks since the Pens loss. I cannot and will not EVER root for the Flyers. The Hossa thing is done with go BLACKHAWKS!

  18. Schuyler
    May 25, 2010 11:02 am

    Right there with ya. Go Hawks! Not a Hossa fan, but I certainly don’t blame him for taking the tremendous offer the Hawks made him. And he’s one guy … Philly has a whole team of unlikeables. So I hope the Hawks embarrass the Flyers … that would be the ultimate! :-)

  19. red pen mama
    May 25, 2010 11:03 am

    I was thinking of this same thing this morning and wondering which way ‘burghers would go. I was coming down on the side of the Blackhawks, too, but I was going to keep that to myself. But now I feel free to declare it.

    Plus, I just can’t root for the Flyers. Just can’t.

    Mike [‘DVE sports guy whose last name I’m not going to try to spell] made a good point on this very issue yesterday: Hossa made some tough choices, and he got burned once. He’s a good hockey player trying to reach the goal all hockey players want to reach: The Cup.

    I kinda hope he does get to hoist the Cup this year in the absence of my favorite hockey team. It won’t really cost me anything, you know?

    And, no I don’t usually listen to ‘DVE, but WDUQ is having a pledge drive, and I’ve already done my part on that. So I switch around during the pleas for money.

  20. SC 'Burgher
    May 25, 2010 11:03 am

    I can’t pull for any team from that city. Eagles, Flyers & Phillies fans are typically voted the worst in each league (the only fans worse in any sport are from the University of Georgia Bulldogs).

    Go Blackhawks.

    Maybe Pittsburghers rooting for the ‘Hawks will make up for sweep by Mario and the boys in 1992.

  21. Carpetbagger
    May 25, 2010 11:03 am

    All Hossa wants to do is win a cup, same as all the rest of the NHL. More important to him than money. He’s not evil, just a desperate guy who made some dumb choices. On the other hand, the man will be playing in his third straight Stanley Cup Finals. So, who’s dumb now?

    I’d root for the Hawks over the Flyers even if they moved to Cleveland and renamed themselves the Browns!

  22. Allison
    May 25, 2010 11:06 am

    Go Hawks. Hossa’s paid up–we got the last word on what he said about the Pens. No way will I root for Philly.

  23. PA Girl in VA
    May 25, 2010 11:07 am

    I don’t understand why folks hate Hossa so much. He didn’t do a whole hell of a lot for the Pens in the short time he was with them and he only burned himself by jumping ship after we lost in the Stanley Cup finals to Detroit in 2008. We developed a much better team, made an excellent coaching change and came back stronger than ever in 2009. Hossa doesn’t bother me one bit and I don’t care one way or another about the Blackhawks.

    The Flyers, however, can kiss my A$$. I grew up near Philly and always disliked everything about that city (I found better cheesesteaks in Delaware!).

    So, as far as I’m concerned, the choice is easy – GO BLACKHAWKS!

  24. J
    May 25, 2010 11:10 am

    we’re with you! hossa sucks, but the rest of the team deserves a win. the entire flyers team sucks. i would rather die than cheer on the flyers!

  25. jen
    May 25, 2010 11:16 am

    The ‘Hawks have some awesome players, they are Detroit’s rivals, they haven’t won since ’61..Most importantly, they are not the Flyers, really is this a hard choice?

  26. PA Girl in VA
    May 25, 2010 11:18 am

    @bluzdude – “I would root for a team put together by Al Queda over the Flyers. At least the Queda team would have the decency to blow themselves up if they lost.” HILARIOUS!!!

    @Schuyler – “And he’s one guy … Philly has a whole team of unlikeables.” – SO TRUE!!!

    I really don’t like to see players get hurt in any sport, but I wouldn’t bat an eye if Hartnell, Carcillo or Asham took a stick to the head. I’d be more concerned about blood getting on the ice.

  27. johnaz6312
    May 25, 2010 11:23 am

    Back in the 98-99 season I had a 15 game plan to see the Penguins. I made the mistake of picking 2 of my games that year that the Pens play Philadelphia.

    Well I ended up sitting next to a Flyers fan, who was working in the burgh and he was a little &%*#!. He wasn’t just insulting the Pens, he was insulting the older couple that was sitting in the row right in front of us. He had a lousy attitude and was just a $&^#@! in general to everyone around him. I got to the point where I almost grabbed him by the tie & threw he a couple rows down the arena aisle.

    My cooler head prevailed, but never again. My favorite this year. I don’t have one, let them both eat dirt, or in this case ice!

  28. DPUTiger
    May 25, 2010 11:24 am

    First, there is no way in hell I can cheer for the Flyguys.

    Second, Hossa’s big mistake wasn’t leaving Pittsburgh for Detroit. It was saying publicly that he’d take a pay cut to play for a team he thought could/would win the next Cup and THEN leaving Pittsburgh for Detroit. Yeah, he paid the price for that last year.

    Third, my husband spent eight years in Chicago after growing up in a pro sports wasteland. He cheers for ‘Burgh teams now (except the Buccos … he’s a Cubs fan), but the bottom line is that all three of these things unquestionably add up to LET’S GO HAWKS!

  29. hello haha narf
    May 25, 2010 11:30 am

    hockey is dead to me until next season. i simply cannot cheer for either hossa or the flyers.
    ptooie, ptooie.

  30. LucyLou
    May 25, 2010 11:36 am

    I would rather see Hossa win the cup than watch the Flyers win anything. The ultimate oxymoron is a Pens fan cheering for the Flyers. Blasphemy! Hossa aside, the City of Chicago hasn’t been to a Stanley Cup final since the early 90s when the Pens sent them home empty handed. Would love to see them win it and send the Flyers home with their tail between their legs as the big losers they are!

    I think we got our sweet justice when Hossa had to watch the Pens raise the Cup on his ice. I no longer have an axe to grind with him.

    Go Blackhawks!

  31. RedInDaBurgh
    May 25, 2010 11:41 am

    Absolutely no dilemma here. Hossa was upfront about why he left (even if he turned out to be wrong). He has never said anything negative about the Pens or the ‘burgh. He’s actually said very complimentary things about the Pens organization and this city.

    On the other hand, we have the Philadelphia Flyers. The team of Jeff Carter, Scott Hartnell, Dan Carcillo, Ron Hextall, Bobby Clarke, those violent, thuggish, ignorant, racist Philly fans and MY GOD DO I HATE THIS TEAM!!!

    I cannot in good conscience ever root for the Effin’ Flyers. It’s like rooting for pigeons to mate. JUST. CAN’T. DO. IT.

    Go Hawks, Go Chicago, Go Hossa. I pray for a sweep. Please, please, please!

  32. Brenna
    May 25, 2010 11:45 am

    Ginny, you’ve made the right choice & if anyone gets on your case about it, revoke their yinzer card. Hossa has paid his dues, we had our way with him last year, and the Flyers will always be our nemesis as long as the NHL is in existence.

  33. Little Miss MIsha
    May 25, 2010 11:47 am

    Seeing Hossa’s name on the Cup is something I can stomach. Seeing Carcillo’s or Hartnell’s names is something that nightmares are made of.


  34. DuranieGirl
    May 25, 2010 11:48 am

    I will not root for either. However, Since Hossa can’t seem to be on the winning end of the Stanley Cup, I think the Flyers are going to take it. I hate the Flyers. Boo Hiss to both of them.

  35. Magnus Patris
    May 25, 2010 11:49 am

    In the voice of Jar-Jar Binks, “Hossa Blowsa, but Filthadelphia just Eeeeevil!” We beat Hossa. We won. That’s done. Still don’t like him but dislike everything else about Pennsylvania’s sphincter (except maybe the cheesesteaks).

  36. LucyLou
    May 25, 2010 11:54 am

    Flyers had one (and only one) redeeming quality at one time….smokin’ hot Eric Lindross. *sigh* A total prima donna and all-around ass, I know. BUT good lord that man had gorgeous blue eyes, a rockin’ bod and that head of curly blonde hair. Mmmm…mmmm. And I do think it was Darius Kasparitus that delivered the concussion heard round the world which began the end of his career.

    But I digress…Flyers suck.

  37. spoon
    May 25, 2010 12:00 pm

    I’m not saying I’m cheering for the Flyers by any means, I’m saying I pick them to win. I refuse to cheer for either.

    Do I still hate the Flyers? You bet your sweet ass I do but they’re representing the East right now. As much as it hurts me to say it, they made it to the show this year and the Pens didn’t.

  38. kirshpgh
    May 25, 2010 12:03 pm

    I’d like to offer a completely shallow reason to support the Blackhawks. Wouldn’t you rather see this man (http://www.nhlpa.com/News/Headlines/Images/Alternate/PatrickSharp-story6.jpg) lifting the cup, than this man (http://media.photobucket.com/image/carcillo/Hordi24/Untitled.jpg)?

  39. bucdaddy
    May 25, 2010 12:04 pm

    I really don’t get the hate for Hossa.

    I really DO get the hate for the Flucking Fyers.

  40. Moe the Dog
    May 25, 2010 12:07 pm

    After Montreal Beat Pittsburgh…

    5 year old son: “So we have to root for Montreal”

    Me: “Yeah, they played really well and beat the penguins”

    After Philadelphia Beat Montreal…

    5YOS: “So we have to root for the Flyers”

    Me: “You will never, ever root for anyone from Philadelphia”

    5YOS: “but…”

    Me: “Never, ever”

    Moe: “GRRRRRR!”

  41. Beth
    May 25, 2010 12:09 pm

    @ LucyLou – word. Eric Lindros was such a hottie I actually wore his jersey. I had a Dave Roche jersey for the Pens. I was 15 and hormonal and grew up in BFE…I didn’t know any better.

    Now, however, since I’ve lived in the city for almost 10 years and gotten an education, eff the Flyers. My beef with Hossa ended last year when he cried like a bitch after losing to Sid. Go ‘Hawks!

  42. burgher-licious
    May 25, 2010 12:26 pm

    I will NEVER EVER cheer for anything that has to do with Filthadelphia…..anyway we can get Onorato to permanently change that city’s name if he becomes governor?


  43. Beatrice
    May 25, 2010 12:45 pm

    Go Hawks.

  44. AModelCitizen
    May 25, 2010 12:46 pm

    Has to be the ‘hawks.
    I only hate one man on that team, and I can still root for him to have a god-awful series.

    The venom I have for the Flyers goes back to Ron Hextall (cheap shot SOB), but hey I’m only 33.
    I can’t and will never root for a city full of battery throwing, santa booing, induced-vomiting-onto-fans-of-other-teams-and-there-kids ‘fans’.

  45. Sooska
    May 25, 2010 12:48 pm

    The Pens beat Hossa for all the marbles and shoved it down his throat and up his *** and made him impossibly miserable. He tried to hitchhike his way to a Cup. The Pens settled it as far as I am concerned.

    Root for the Filthadelhia Flyers? No freakin’ way, baby. I cannot abide the thought of Carcillo or Hartnell or Leadership getting their names on the Cup. Even them playing for it is too much for my mental health. Never.

    I like a bunch of their players. They are a very good team. Go Hawks.

  46. Sooska
    May 25, 2010 12:51 pm

    and may I add: Pittsburgh. East Chicago for the next 2 weeks.

  47. TripleC
    May 25, 2010 12:52 pm

    The thought that people are even questioning who they should root for makes my head hurt. Or maybe they’ve never been exposed to the insufferable morons known as Philadelphia sports fans.

    Go Blackhawks! Only gripe about them is one of their star players spends his offseason smacking around cabbies in Buffalo over a disputed $0.10. And Hossa is a non-story in my opinion – payback was given to him last year when the Pens beat him for the Cup.

  48. windy city steel city
    May 25, 2010 1:02 pm

    My second team> Blackhawks! My home for 16 years. Hossa has been laundered by a class organization and has signed a long term deal with the Red and Black. He has served his time. As a previous Hossa-hater, glad he is on the team.

    I wouldn’t root for the Flyers even if they played the Ravens in the Super Bowl [exactly].

  49. katsbynp
    May 25, 2010 1:12 pm

    I too will hope that the Blackhawks hoist the cup. I cannot find it in me to even root for the Flyers..


  50. Shane Brown
    May 25, 2010 1:17 pm

    This is easy… Hossa gets an injury the prevents him from using his arms. Hawks win the cup, but Hossa still has to watch cause he can’t lift it.

    Seriously… Root for the Flyers? Might as well ask me to Root for the Ravens or Ohio St or some future baseball team that in theory could be considered a rival for the Pirates assuming they ever freaking win anything ever again.