FRIVOLITY! LAUGHTER! LIGHT-HEARTEDNESS!

Best headline ever?

First of all, I can joke about this because the man is okay. Shot in the hip.

Second of all, honestly, HOW pertinent to the story can it possibly be that he was eating when he was shot, and that he was eating CHICKEN NUGGETS when he was shot?

I guess VERY pertinent, because there’s this:

I suddenly had a horrible image in my mind of me suffering a violent attack and the news media having a headline of, “Woman shot while walking and snarfing swiss rolls.”

[shudder]

“Don’t eat swiss rolls while walking in a dangerous neighorhood” is the new “wear clean underwear.”

And finally, I don’t need to tell you, but Remnants of Chicken Nuggets would make a HORRIBLE band name.

(h/t Mark)





29 Comments

  1. bucdaddy
    May 27, 2010 9:20 am

    Does the five-second rule apply to sidewalks or just kitchen floors? Because … mmmm, chicken nuggets. I think I see a thing of sauce there too and it looks unopened. Hope it’s honey mustard.



  2. kl
    May 27, 2010 9:24 am

    It might work for an album title tho….



  3. shelby71
    May 27, 2010 9:25 am

    That headline also makes it sound like there are these scary man-eating chicken nuggets wandering around the North Side… and BAM! Someone shot them! heh heh heh



  4. Monty
    May 27, 2010 9:37 am

    Police are investigating the possibility that the shooter was one of those painted chickens last seen whoring themselves around the CMU dorms.



  5. krsm
    May 27, 2010 9:59 am

    I thought of you as soon as I saw that on the news this morning! My thoughts exactly!



  6. krsm
    May 27, 2010 10:00 am

    My thoughts exactly! I thought of you immediately when I saw that on the news this morning.



  7. Cassie
    May 27, 2010 10:05 am

    Ha! News in Pittsburgh, baby! Later on today, “Man slurping Frosty is hit by a car.”



  8. AB
    May 27, 2010 10:07 am

    This immediately reminded me of Garfunkel & Oates “Running with Chicken”.

    http://www.garfunkelandoates.com/music/clips/14/running-with-chicken/



  9. Beth
    May 27, 2010 10:10 am

    Completely off topic, but I just saw your Twitter feed over there and may I just say: HOLY SHIT!! Scott R. Priester offered support? Really!?! REALLY!?!!!! Sorry, I’m using Bojack punctuation, but I just can’t believe it! I wouldn’t trust him if I were you. You may want to watch your back.



  10. LaReina
    May 27, 2010 10:19 am

    The photo reminds me of the marathon microwave ravioli remnants. Oh the humanity!



  11. Beth
    May 27, 2010 10:19 am

    Also, if one read that headline incorrectly one might think that there were man eating chicken nuggets taken down on the North Side.



  12. ScareHouse Scott
    May 27, 2010 10:21 am

    And yet “Man-eating Chicken Nuggets” would make a FANTASTIC band name. Or at least a solid movie title for SyFy. Run for your lives, the nuggets are biting back!



  13. Virginia
    May 27, 2010 10:23 am

    I cannot believe I didn’t even pick up on the “MAN-EATING CHICKEN NUGGETS!” angle.

    I blame last night’s margarita-fest for that.

    Hilarious.



  14. Pa-pop
    May 27, 2010 10:24 am

    “Chicken nuggets” is a very pertinent clue. It’s not public information yet, but witness claim the assailants were painted chickens last seen at CMU a while back.



  15. Christy
    May 27, 2010 10:28 am

    I totally read it as “man-eating chicken nuggets” and wondered how they got loose! :-)



  16. bucdaddy
    May 27, 2010 10:32 am

    We copy editors are well aware of the vital importance of the hyphen, the comma and other tools of English usage that ceased being taught and used in schools about 30 years ago.

    //minirant



  17. buttercup
    May 27, 2010 10:47 am

    This morning, WPXI was running a story on the massive womanbrawl on the northside and one of the lines they used-“The street was littered with wigs, tracks, and hair bands” just made me lose it. Coupled with the zoom-in on a wig laying in the street like a defenestrated badger. What a great way to start the day.

    I mean, it’s no man-eating chicken nugget, but still…



  18. Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl
    May 27, 2010 10:53 am

    @bucdaddy – It must have been twenty years agowhen they stopped teaching those things. I graudated from college twenty years ago and I still have nightmares from grade school, high school and college about diagramming sentences, misplaced modifiers, gerunds and exactly when to use a hyphen, comma, colon and semi-colon.



  19. bucdaddy
    May 27, 2010 11:02 am

    Ex-Pat,

    Your ability to write a coherent sentence is evidence that your teachers served you well. (We’ll overlook “graudated” for now.)

    Sorry about the nightmares, but if you need a cuddle …



  20. CrashJK
    May 27, 2010 12:37 pm

    snarfing swiss rolls – that phrase will have me laughing all day, thanks Ginny…and it too would be a killer band name.



  21. Pensgirl
    May 27, 2010 12:41 pm

    Remnants of Chicken Nuggets would indeed be a horrible band name, but The Chicken Nugget Brigade would be an awesome name.



  22. SusanV
    May 27, 2010 1:17 pm

    He was SO into his nuggets that he didn’t notice the guy with the gun…

    I guess there’s only one conclusion to draw here: chicken nuggets are bad for your health. ;-)

    Now pass the swiss rolls!



  23. Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl
    May 27, 2010 1:52 pm

    @bucdaddy — Thank you. When typing, my fingers sometimes get ahead of my brain, so please accept my apologies for the misspelling and not including the space between “ago” and “when”. I forgot to review my comment before hitting submit.

    As for the offer, if my current cuddle partner doesn’t shape up, I may take you up on your cuddle offer and show him the door.



  24. G-Man
    May 27, 2010 2:26 pm

    If the headline read “…pigeion nuggets…” we’d know for sure who the shooter is.



  25. G-Man
    May 27, 2010 2:27 pm

    Please overlook the fact I could not correctly spell “pigeon” in the above comment.



  26. Megan
    May 27, 2010 4:50 pm

    @bucdaddy – I made the mistake of becoming a journalism major — pointing out poor grammar in everyday life has become second nature. My friends no longer send me emails, as they got tired of me copy editing them.



  27. Luke Steelerstahl
    May 27, 2010 8:43 pm

    HOLY CRAP – THERE ARE MAN EATING CHICKEN NUGGETS IN THE NORTHSIDE!!!!!

    I’ll call every single Police officer I can find up there right away!!

    And give a proclamation and raise to the brave officer who shot the first nugget



  28. GoBobbo
    May 27, 2010 11:28 pm

    TV news media, my friend. They suck at news.



  29. bucdaddy
    May 28, 2010 12:07 am

    Megan,

    The man who ran the J&C department at Point Park when I went there was satirized in the April Fool’s edition of the school paper this way:

    “Hobbies: Editing the Bible”