Today, in light of Georgia’s Sunshine Laws, over 50 DVDs were released of footage and evidence in Ben Roethlisberger’s alleged rape case and I have to tell you guys, I’m not going to do it.
No way on God’s blue and green earth am I going to spend my time watching videos of the accuser and her friends and Ben’s friends and other random people talk about something that may or may not have been consensual. If it wasn’t consensual, yeah, let’s hash it out some more and put the girl through more suffering and let’s all talk about her and what she might look like and “Would Benny really hit on her?!” and let’s have her read some more about how she’s probably just a money-hungry whore because what raped woman doesn’t want to read that about herself and let’s pick this case apart bit by bit and let’s discount that and discredit that and let’s hedge our bets that those girls are good actresses and blah blah blah blah BLAH!
I’m not doing it. Not going to take screengrabs of the accusers blurred-out face. I’m not going to listen to her talk about Ben whipping Little Ben out. I don’t want to hear about what the bartender said or the waitress said or the bystander said. I’m not going to listen to any of it unless somewhere in there someone goes on some awesome random tirade against pigeons or for the resurrection of Zima production in America.
I get why Sunshine Laws exist, but what fun is it when the laws are just shining the sun on a giant stinky load of poop that will only smell worse now that it’s being blasted with some heat?
What will change as a result of these tapes being released? Benny will never be tried for this alleged crime. Only Benny and his accuser know what really happened and we can at least rest comfortably that eventually, the Karma Boomerang will deliver final justice to whomever is lying. Hell, look at OJ Simpson. These tapes will only succeed in bringing back to the surface what so many are trying to push under and swim away from.
I’m so tired of it all. It’s the main reason I wanted Benny traded. So I don’t have to care or write about him. So I don’t have to see the interviews he’s giving to WTAE and KDKA in which he’s going to say what he’s been saying — “I’m sorry for my behavior, but I committed no crime and I look forward to bettering myself in the future so that I can make my family, my team, and my fans proud of me again.”
Would you like to buy my ticket to this showing of the Great Public Rehabilitation of the Image of Benjamin Roethlisberger because I don’t really want to see the show. I just want it all, and him, to make like the fleeting Roethlishawkletberger and go away.
That said, you guys HAVE GOT to go watch Benny turning on the charm on the dance floor at the Capital City bar.
Take away his bajillion dollars and his NFL contract and you really do end up with Bubba Joe Doofus the Third. But I’m just saying that because of that one time he turned me down at Diesel when I was all, “How’s about I take this sexy hearing aid out and you go to town on my cute earlobe?”