Good morning, Burghers!
It’s a sunny beautiful morning here in Pittsburgh, and I awoke to read the news when I read something so ludicrous/hilarious I said, “Self, you must share this today so that all of Pittsburgh can [headdesk] along with you and that way your forehead bruise will blend in nicely with theirs.”
Remember how Lukey nominated his brother Adam to the ALCOSAN board and I was all, “YOU GIANT IDIOT! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?”
Aside: The next time I’m lamenting how everyone on Grant Street hates me, please remind me of this post where I just kinda called the Mayor a “giant idiot,” ‘kay? Thanks.
Upon learning of the nomination of Adam “Needs a Nickname” Ravenstahl, both Bill Peduto and his BFF SITTING IN A TREE K-I-S-S-I-N-G Doug Shields sent letters to separate panels asking for an ethics opinion on such a nepotistic nomination.
I just used the word nepotistic in a post. I feel smart. Somebody get me a jumbled up Rubik’s Cube.
Doug Shields went to the State Ethics Commission and Bill Peduto went to the City Ethics Board, and both were told they needed to file a formal complaint, and they haven’t. Bummer. Provided nothing changes on the ethics complaint side, the nomination moves forward (!).
Now, in order for City Council to interview Adam Ravenstahl for the post, they needed a resume and Bram has a copy of what was forwarded on as his “resume.”
I’m going to give Adam and Luke the benefit of the doubt, because as a former non-profit employee, when asked for my boss’s “resume,” I often provided a copy of his bio instead. So I’m going to just assume that the genius who typed the cover memo meant “bio” where she/he typed “resume.”
I’m going to assume that this is not ALL there is to Adam Ravenstahl. That there is some super duper awesome detailed bio up his shirtsleeve and he’s just waiting for the BOOYAH! moment to unveil it.
I’m going to assume that Adam Ravenstahl does have an actual resume somewhere that contains an objective, a chronological listing of his pertinent job history, a listing of his skills, a snapshot of his volunteer activities, no mention whatsoever of his FATHER OR GRANDFATHER, and a look at the boards he has previously served on in his 25-year lifetime.
I’m going to assume that Lukey knows that he can’t possibly expect us to believe that Adam is the most qualified candidate for this position, as Lukey has claimed, if THIS is his actual resume.
I’m going to assume Adam Ravenstahl sits on some boards and he knows how board meetings operate, otherwise he’s going to attend his first meeting of ALCOSAN and someone’s going to say, “Can I get a second?” and Adam Ravenstahl is going to say, “Hell, yeah. Take a whole minute.”
I’m going to assume there’s more. I have to.
If, however, I am wrong, and no such full bio or professional resume exists or is currently being hastily written by Joanna Doven, using words like “facilitated,” “developed,” and “transformintuitiated,” then we are screwed and the only thing left to do is figure out which one is Tweedledee and which one is Tweedledum.