Special Saturday [headdesk]

Good morning, Burghers!

It’s a sunny beautiful morning here in Pittsburgh, and I awoke to read the news when I read something so ludicrous/hilarious I said, “Self, you must share this today so that all of Pittsburgh can [headdesk] along with you and that way your forehead bruise will blend in nicely with theirs.”

Remember how Lukey nominated his brother Adam to the ALCOSAN board and I was all, “YOU GIANT IDIOT! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?”

‘Member that?

Aside: The next time I’m lamenting how everyone on Grant Street hates me, please remind me of this post where I just kinda called the Mayor a “giant idiot,” ‘kay? Thanks.

Upon learning of the nomination of Adam “Needs a Nickname” Ravenstahl, both Bill Peduto and his BFF SITTING IN A TREE K-I-S-S-I-N-G Doug Shields sent letters to separate panels asking for an ethics opinion on such a nepotistic nomination.

I just used the word nepotistic in a post. I feel smart. Somebody get me a jumbled up Rubik’s Cube.

Doug Shields went to the State Ethics Commission and Bill Peduto went to the City Ethics Board, and both were told they needed to file a formal complaint, and they haven’t. Bummer. Provided nothing changes on the ethics complaint side, the nomination moves forward (!).

Now, in order for City Council to interview Adam Ravenstahl for the post, they needed a resume and Bram has a copy of what was forwarded on as his “resume.”

I’m going to give Adam and Luke the benefit of the doubt, because as a former non-profit employee, when asked for my boss’s “resume,” I often provided a copy of his bio instead. So I’m going to just assume that the genius who typed the cover memo meant “bio” where she/he typed “resume.”

I’m going to assume that this is not ALL there is to Adam Ravenstahl. That there is some super duper awesome detailed bio up his shirtsleeve and he’s just waiting for the BOOYAH! moment to unveil it.

I’m going to assume that Adam Ravenstahl does have an actual resume somewhere that contains an objective, a chronological listing of his pertinent job history, a listing of his skills, a snapshot of his volunteer activities, no mention whatsoever of his FATHER OR GRANDFATHER, and a look at the boards he has previously served on in his 25-year lifetime.

I’m going to assume that Lukey knows that he can’t possibly expect us to believe that Adam is the most qualified candidate for this position, as Lukey has claimed, if THIS is his actual resume.

I’m going to assume Adam Ravenstahl sits on some boards and he knows how board meetings operate, otherwise he’s going to attend his first meeting of ALCOSAN and someone’s going to say, “Can I get a second?” and Adam Ravenstahl is going to say, “Hell, yeah. Take a whole minute.”

I’m going to assume there’s more. I have to.

If, however, I am wrong, and no such full bio or professional resume exists or is currently being hastily written by Joanna Doven, using words like “facilitated,” “developed,” and “transformintuitiated,” then we are screwed and the only thing left to do is figure out which one is Tweedledee and which one is Tweedledum.



  1. pittnurse
    June 12, 2010 9:56 am

    Actually, if you read the PG article closer, the formal complaint to the Ethics Board can’t come from Peduto or Shields-it has to come from Lukey himself.

  2. Virginia
    June 12, 2010 9:58 am

    That’s how I read it at first. Then I reinterpreted it to mean that Peduto or Shields must file a formal complaint, but that Lukey can do the less formal “ask for an opinion” on himself.

    Peduto and Shields were looking for the informal opinion, rather than a formal ruling.

    I could be wrong, but I hope not, because if Lukey is the only one that can ask for a ruling against himself, I will lose all of my shit.

  3. Jack-ImageX
    June 12, 2010 10:05 am

    Luke doesn’t see this as a problem as this is how things have been done in Pittsburgh for years. This is how machine politics works.

    I can see him saying “just shut up and keep voting Democrat!”

    Why do the people of Pittsburgh keep doing this to themselves?

  4. Luke Steelerstahl
    June 12, 2010 10:18 am

    That’s the same resume that the mayor of your City has. Actually a better resume – I didn’t work at UPMC before I was elected to Council.

  5. Bram R
    June 12, 2010 10:31 am

    @pittnurse and Virginia: I’m pretty sure it’s like this –>

    “The board will not consider the legitimacy of a nomination unless it receives A) a formal complaint *OR* B) a request from the person making the nomination, in this case Mayor Ravenstahl, Sister Hughes said.”

    “Requests for advisory opinions” are for things that haven’t happened yet; they are requests for advice on how to act in the future; that’s what Luke would file were he interested in checking if his intended nomination is proper. “Complaints” are for things that have already happened; these can be filed by any city resident (hint hint) and are the equivalent of calling “SHENANIGANS!” It’s not a matter of formal vs. informal.

    It sounds like Bill and Doug asked for advisory opinions on whether Luke did something wrong, when they should have filed complaints … but it’s possible that if public officials started filing complaints against one another there’d be retaliatory complaints and it’d get nasty and never end.

    BTW I have a feeling they’re going to take the “it’s a bio!” tack. I’m going to try to see what other individuals in the same spot have submitted. I think it’s likely he was asked for a resume and handed in a (short, center-justified) bio.

  6. bucdaddy
    June 12, 2010 11:11 am

    People get the government they deserve.


  7. Noelle
    June 12, 2010 11:13 am

    Good point Bram, WHY is it center justified? I realize this is the least of the issues, but I would never think for a second to center justify something for submission in a business situation. Too bizarre.

  8. BeauJacques
    June 12, 2010 11:19 am


    Wouldn’t THIS be a great question to stick a microphone in Dan Onorato’s face and ask??

    Like, “Do you feel Luke’s brother is the best qualified?”


    “Do you think there is impropriety in this blatant nepotism?”

    Well do you Danny?

    And so where is KDKA head politico reporter Jon Delano??


    Where is anybody??

    Keep pulling that “D”!!


  9. BeauJacques
    June 12, 2010 11:21 am

    It’s AL-CO-SAN

    that’s Allegheny County Sanitation

  10. NW PA Joe
    June 12, 2010 12:48 pm

    Notice how this info. came out on a Saturday when nobody is paying attention.

  11. NW PA Joe
    June 12, 2010 12:48 pm

    Except Ginny, that is.

  12. LaReina
    June 12, 2010 1:29 pm

    It’s not even a bio. It’s more his grandfather’s bio than anything.

  13. PK
    June 12, 2010 2:28 pm

    Oy…Pittsburghers can be such maroons when it comes to politics. And Lukey and the Democratic (read: Tammany Hall) Machine know this.

    As for nicknames…
    Wonder if Adam is going to act like Adam West’s Mayor Adam West character in Family Guy? (He loves his taffy.)

    Adam Sludgerstahl?
    Adam Sanitarystahl?
    Adam Bathroomstahl?
    Adam Ravenstahlerstahl?

    This is a tough one.

  14. Tolnski
    June 12, 2010 3:29 pm

    A w e s o m e.

  15. BeauJacques
    June 12, 2010 3:56 pm

    [diff subject]

    I’m really trying to get behind soccer (USA v. Eng)
    but, it’s just excruciatingly SLOW hockey w/out sticks!!!

  16. Sooska
    June 12, 2010 4:21 pm

    > re the nickname. Philip Roth wrote a novel “The Great American Novel” about a baseball team called the Port Ruppert Mundys who had to spend a whole year on the road due to WWII. It is worth a read -funny stuff esp if you are, or ever were, a baseball fan. In it there was a young 2nd baseman who spent his life trying to be cleverly nicknamed, so eventually he was nicknamed “Nickname” Damur.

    > As I have commented previously, whoever said the Ravenstahls don’t know shit?

    > Given that it has listed his jobs and school it is indeed a resume. It is so sparse it is almost as though it was made up by someone in the witness protection program. OR It is so sparse you’d think he rode in on someone’s coattails, like Hossa trying to hitch hike his way to a Cup. wait.

    4. Husband and I had a delicious mid-afternoon lunch at Las Velas today. Our first trip. We’ll spread the word and definitely go back. I liked the view, Ginny. *winks*

  17. PittGal in WI
    June 12, 2010 4:42 pm

    When does your mayor come up for re-election? Any chance of voting him out?

  18. Luke Steelerstahl
    June 12, 2010 5:41 pm

    “When does your mayor come up for re-election?”

    Three and a half more years

    “Any chance of voting him out?”


  19. Chloe
    June 12, 2010 6:47 pm

    It’s sad to think that Doug and Bill asked for opinions because they know that Widdle Wukey & Adam Ant will have the votes from the rest of Council. They can’t stop this smoked filled back room politics that this jack-ass Mayor loves. He’s petty. And besides won’t Adam Ant be breathing mostly Harrisburg air instead of Northside? I smell something fishy.

  20. Marlene
    June 12, 2010 9:43 pm

    Yep, that’s the bio on his PA House site http://www.pahouse.com/ravenstahl/bio.asp

  21. BeauJacques
    June 12, 2010 11:37 pm

    My cat is more qualified than this asshole.

  22. bucdaddy
    June 13, 2010 2:48 am

    And cats are stupid.

  23. windy city steel city
    June 13, 2010 8:29 am

    he forgot to include his paper route, candy bar sales, fraternity house dishwasher, and mayor’s brother. never mind, he included the last one.

  24. Sexy Jesus
    June 13, 2010 8:35 pm

    “When does your mayor come up for re-election? Any chance of voting him out?”

    There’s a better alternative than waiting 3.5 years for the (non-)opportunity to vote him out (two alternatives, really, but nobody is taking my impeachment suggestion seriously). Let’s build him up, make him sound like something more than a half-wit with the right last name and try to convince him to run for Congress. I honestly think he could do less damage there surrounded by 434 similarly ill-qualified, self-interested buffoons who, more often than not, TALK LOUDLY but accomplish little.

    Of course, getting rid of Lukey means nothing unless Pittsburghers realize that they are not obligated to vote D.

  25. Al Lambrini
    June 14, 2010 9:13 am

    I love how he lists his most important accomplishment as beig the grnadson of former North Side political boss.

  26. Maggie Tucker
    June 14, 2010 9:41 am

    About 5 years ago, a sweet but very wet-behind-the-ears young woman came into my office at Pitt to register her internship at the City’s PR office.

    She had no experience with anything political but thought it would help get her into journalism.

    Her name was Joanna Doven.

    (Just an interesting side note to the debacle that is the Ravenstahl administration.)

  27. TripleC
    June 14, 2010 10:37 am

    @PittGal in WI – that would be a ‘nope’. He fell into office and has no chance of getting voted out because of two simple words: incumbent and democrat.

    This counties politics are so disgusting that it’s almost comical. But hey, lil Adam Poopstahl will at least make sure the toilets are flushed.

  28. Dan (Not Onarato)
    June 14, 2010 11:27 am

    @13 and 14

    Big Ben just perked up at the mention of Bathroomstahl

  29. pghredhead
    June 14, 2010 1:38 pm

    Lil Adam’s bio was a copy and paste job directly from the PA Democratic Caucus website (http://www.pahouse.com/ravenstahl/bio.asp).

    @Noelle: Just for fun, I copied the bio and pasted it into Microsoft Word — it autoformatted with center justification.


  30. Leslie in Dayton
    June 14, 2010 2:13 pm

    @pghredhead Ooh…good catch.

  31. Mr. Opine
    June 15, 2010 10:18 am

    Instead of waiting for Peduto or Shields to act, why don’t we all file complaints? A resident of the city of Pittsburgh can file an ethics complaint; there is no requirement for title or rank.

    Here’s the link to the ethics complaint form: