IT’S AN ACTUAL THING!
- June 17, 2010
- filed under The Damn Pigeons
Remember how I showed you that car commercial and then decided that those open sucky things on the hoods of some cars will now be called pigeon-suckers?
Guess what?
THEY REALLY DO SUCK IN PIGEONS!
An email with proof:
So I was driving to work last week on the turnpike, when a dark gray blur hit the front of my car then splattered on the windshield. I wipered (not really a word, but gets the point across) the blood off my windshield and continued on. Here is what I found when I got to work…
Goodbye Mr. Pidgee, pidgee, pidgee. It took 30 minutes to get the decapitated body out of the pigeon-sucker. And yes, it was a pigeon body. I knew you would be pleased.
What a supercalifragilisticexpialidociously awesome thing to know for certain — that pigeon-suckers are also pigeon-decapitators.
If I were Rajma, I wouldn’t clean the pigeon carcass out of the pigeon-sucker. I’d drive around with it proudly, like antlers on a pickup truck hood.
LOOK WHAT I HAVE KILLED! RAWR!
Beth
June 17, 2010 3:23 pm
So when do you trade in your Mom Mobile?
Carpetbagger
June 17, 2010 3:34 pm
Drive one of those and you would impress even David Conrad!
Meanwhile, PETA just moved you up their Lord Zober-style “list.”
bluzdude
June 17, 2010 3:46 pm
PETA shouldn’t be mad… it was the pigeon’s own fault. The driver has the area from the ground to about 5 feet. The pigeon has the whole rest of the sky. That’s what it gets for playing chicken with a Dodge.
bebe
June 17, 2010 3:58 pm
I just want to see what PETA will try to say now to you… lol
Sooska
June 17, 2010 4:00 pm
If a pigeon, or its feathers, blood or other parts gets in the engine does it effect the warranty? Is that a reasonably expected road hazard that your insurance would cover if it damages the car?
red pen mama
June 17, 2010 4:13 pm
It also would serve as a warning to other pigeons. Like heads on a pole outside the castle. Or something.
TK
June 17, 2010 4:49 pm
“open sucky things on the hoods of some cars will now be called pigeon-suckers?”
They’re called scoops, not pigeon suckers.
A Dodge with a scoop. As in:
The pigeon couldn’t dodge the car as the car came at him and was scooped into the hood.
richrovs
June 17, 2010 7:25 pm
WOOHOO!!!
SusanV
June 17, 2010 9:36 pm
Wow. Thanks for the close-up picture. I’m fighting off vomit! EW!!
cmcmcl
June 17, 2010 10:12 pm
they still need to work on the design — sucking the pigeon up is one thing, but there needs to be an exhaust kind of action to spit it back out again — hating pigeons as i do, I SURE wouldn’t want to have to remove one – dead OR alive, from the sucker thing. sooooooo gross!
Lisa
June 17, 2010 10:55 pm
LOL @ bluz :-D
Hubby says this proves pigeons are illiterate, too. There was a big sign on the front of that car that said Dodge. What didn’t it understand?
Too bad the open sucky thing isn’t attached to a grinder or something that can turn the pidge into fuel for the car.
bucdaddy
June 18, 2010 12:35 am
Rajma is a cool name.
Dan (Not Onarato)
June 18, 2010 8:37 am
A couple of thoughts…
Who puts a scoop (i.e. pidgeon sucker) on a Dodge Neon? Its like putting chrome wheels on a Ford Pinto or just owning AMC Pacer (whats the point?)
Thank you for putting supercalifragilisticexpialidocious in a blog for me to read first thing in the AM. Now that song will be in my head all day.
And I agree with bucdaddy…Rajma IS a cool name
Elmer Fudd
June 18, 2010 8:44 am
WOW..Looks like the last thing that went through that pigeons mind was it’s asshole..
J
June 18, 2010 8:55 am
Dan, that’s a neon SRT-4. It comes with that hood from the factory. It’s got a large motor that needs more air so they put that scoop on the hood to pull in more air and cool the engine.
belle
June 18, 2010 9:44 am
My Neon does not have a pigeon-sucker and I think I need one since I drive downtown (err “dahntahn”) every day. Just clear the city of the varmints. Hm.
Dan (Not Onarato)
June 18, 2010 10:49 am
My bad J thanks for the clarification.
Rajma
June 19, 2010 5:18 pm
I didn’t expect my email to get posted. I just thought it would bring a smile to Virginia’s day. AND, I really didn’t expect to get as many comments. BTW, it is a Dodge SRT-4 and I did know it’s called a “scoop”. But pigeon-sucker is a lot more fun to say. Oh, and thanks for thinking my name is cool, it wasn’t as cool in grade school, I can tell you. One last thing, the pigeon’s demise happened right at the Cranberry exit on the turnpike.
Johnaz6312
June 20, 2010 6:26 pm
All cars regardless of model should be equipped with a pigeon sucker. We could cut the population of the little bastads in half within a couple of weeks!!