IT’S AN ACTUAL THING!

Remember how I showed you that car commercial and then decided that those open sucky things on the hoods of some cars will now be called pigeon-suckers?

Guess what?

THEY REALLY DO SUCK IN PIGEONS!

An email with proof:

So I was driving to work last week on the turnpike, when a dark gray blur hit the front of my car then splattered on the windshield. I wipered (not really a word, but gets the point across) the blood off my windshield and continued on. Here is what I found when I got to work…


Goodbye Mr. Pidgee, pidgee, pidgee. It took 30 minutes to get the decapitated body out of the pigeon-sucker. And yes, it was a pigeon body. I knew you would be pleased.

Rajma

What a supercalifragilisticexpialidociously awesome thing to know for certain — that pigeon-suckers are also pigeon-decapitators.

If I were Rajma, I wouldn’t clean the pigeon carcass out of the pigeon-sucker. I’d drive around with it proudly, like antlers on a pickup truck hood.

LOOK WHAT I HAVE KILLED!  RAWR!





19 Comments

  1. Beth
    June 17, 2010 3:23 pm

    So when do you trade in your Mom Mobile?



  2. Carpetbagger
    June 17, 2010 3:34 pm

    Drive one of those and you would impress even David Conrad!

    Meanwhile, PETA just moved you up their Lord Zober-style “list.”



  3. bluzdude
    June 17, 2010 3:46 pm

    PETA shouldn’t be mad… it was the pigeon’s own fault. The driver has the area from the ground to about 5 feet. The pigeon has the whole rest of the sky. That’s what it gets for playing chicken with a Dodge.



  4. bebe
    June 17, 2010 3:58 pm

    I just want to see what PETA will try to say now to you… lol



  5. Sooska
    June 17, 2010 4:00 pm

    If a pigeon, or its feathers, blood or other parts gets in the engine does it effect the warranty? Is that a reasonably expected road hazard that your insurance would cover if it damages the car?



  6. red pen mama
    June 17, 2010 4:13 pm

    It also would serve as a warning to other pigeons. Like heads on a pole outside the castle. Or something.



  7. TK
    June 17, 2010 4:49 pm

    “open sucky things on the hoods of some cars will now be called pigeon-suckers?”

    They’re called scoops, not pigeon suckers.

    A Dodge with a scoop. As in:

    The pigeon couldn’t dodge the car as the car came at him and was scooped into the hood.



  8. richrovs
    June 17, 2010 7:25 pm

    WOOHOO!!!



  9. SusanV
    June 17, 2010 9:36 pm

    Wow. Thanks for the close-up picture. I’m fighting off vomit! EW!!



  10. cmcmcl
    June 17, 2010 10:12 pm

    they still need to work on the design — sucking the pigeon up is one thing, but there needs to be an exhaust kind of action to spit it back out again — hating pigeons as i do, I SURE wouldn’t want to have to remove one – dead OR alive, from the sucker thing. sooooooo gross!



  11. Lisa
    June 17, 2010 10:55 pm

    LOL @ bluz :-D

    Hubby says this proves pigeons are illiterate, too. There was a big sign on the front of that car that said Dodge. What didn’t it understand?

    Too bad the open sucky thing isn’t attached to a grinder or something that can turn the pidge into fuel for the car.



  12. bucdaddy
    June 18, 2010 12:35 am

    Rajma is a cool name.



  13. Dan (Not Onarato)
    June 18, 2010 8:37 am

    A couple of thoughts…

    Who puts a scoop (i.e. pidgeon sucker) on a Dodge Neon? Its like putting chrome wheels on a Ford Pinto or just owning AMC Pacer (whats the point?)

    Thank you for putting supercalifragilisticexpialidocious in a blog for me to read first thing in the AM. Now that song will be in my head all day.

    And I agree with bucdaddy…Rajma IS a cool name



  14. Elmer Fudd
    June 18, 2010 8:44 am

    WOW..Looks like the last thing that went through that pigeons mind was it’s asshole..



  15. J
    June 18, 2010 8:55 am

    Dan, that’s a neon SRT-4. It comes with that hood from the factory. It’s got a large motor that needs more air so they put that scoop on the hood to pull in more air and cool the engine.



  16. belle
    June 18, 2010 9:44 am

    My Neon does not have a pigeon-sucker and I think I need one since I drive downtown (err “dahntahn”) every day. Just clear the city of the varmints. Hm.



  17. Dan (Not Onarato)
    June 18, 2010 10:49 am

    My bad J thanks for the clarification.



  18. Rajma
    June 19, 2010 5:18 pm

    I didn’t expect my email to get posted. I just thought it would bring a smile to Virginia’s day. AND, I really didn’t expect to get as many comments. BTW, it is a Dodge SRT-4 and I did know it’s called a “scoop”. But pigeon-sucker is a lot more fun to say. Oh, and thanks for thinking my name is cool, it wasn’t as cool in grade school, I can tell you. One last thing, the pigeon’s demise happened right at the Cranberry exit on the turnpike.



  19. Johnaz6312
    June 20, 2010 6:26 pm

    All cars regardless of model should be equipped with a pigeon sucker. We could cut the population of the little bastads in half within a couple of weeks!!