I live in Pittsburgh because in addition to loving this city, the climate is mild, and the chance of catastrophic natural events is much smaller here than in other cities.
I don’t have to worry too much about tornado activity (not like Tina Fey in Texas who has been known to call us all, “So, we’re all huddled in the closet playing Uno and there are currently seven tornados surrounding us. D just made DD draw four and you should see the look on his face because he only had one card left, except we’re playing by flashlight so it’s kind of hard to see his face, and who knows, maybe his “draw four” was really a “reverse,” LOL. How are yinz guys up there? Oh, gotta go. I think I heard a tree land on my car.”)
I don’t have to worry about hurricanes ripping my roof off, or just sitting on my house for three whole days like Katrina did to my in-laws in Cancun.
I don’t have to plan my day around the fact that it will be 103 degrees by 7:30 a.m. and if I’d like to do any sort of outdoor activity, like retrieving the morning newspaper, I’d better plan it around a trip to the mailbox, because stepping outside after 10 a.m., well, I might literally burst into flames.
Yeah, we have straight line wind, hail, lightning, and sporadic droughts, but we don’t have volcanic ash raining down on us, rogue waves sweeping our houses away, or half our state currently engulfed in a forest fire.
Landslides are rare, and at most, a sinkhole here might swallow a car.
I don’t have to tunnel my way out of my home in the winter, except for that one time this past winter when you were all, “Booyah!” Which, touche, Mother Nature. Touche.
And unlike folks in Mexico City or LA, I don’t have to worry about earthquakes.
So, seriously, for the love of Julie Bologna, cut it out.