Reason # infinity why I am going to hell.

I laughed at this:

The victims reported to the officers that the actor may have been mentally challenged as they observed his unique run to be like that of a penguin,” police wrote in a media statement.

I’m sorry. Don’t comment with hate. I already know it was inappropriate to laugh.

But seriously. THEY WROTE THAT IN A MEDIA STATEMENT. It’s all “Serious. Serious. Sexual act in public. Serious. Crime. Wanted. Serious. Scary. Serious. Serious. Serious. PENGUIN!”

I’m sorry.

I’m going to go be a good person now.


  1. cmd_45
    June 23, 2010 8:41 pm

    The reporter could have been more sensitive about that. Just the reference to being mentally challenged would have been enough. Oh, and I? Would have laughed, too!

  2. ~Anna
    June 23, 2010 9:08 pm

    Port Authority busses have surveillance cameras?? I guess I haven’t been on a bus in a while…

  3. Heather
    June 23, 2010 9:12 pm

    I’ll be on the lookout for someone who runs like a penguin! HAHAHA! I think it’s funny!

  4. BeauJacques
    June 23, 2010 9:13 pm

    Picking on retards is not good.

    I;m talking about the women who tried to chase him down.

  5. Pens Fan
    June 23, 2010 9:24 pm

    Gin – last night while watching the news they said this. Hubby and I laughed for a good 20 minutes. I don’t know how reporter said it with a straight face!

  6. bluzdude
    June 23, 2010 9:38 pm

    Runs like a penguin?

    Has anyone seen Burgess Meredith lately?

    Oh wait… he’s dead isn’t he? I guess that means I hate dead people.

  7. stephanie
    June 23, 2010 9:41 pm

    something else to laugh at on

    “Kurtz has worked as a pierogi for two years.”

    if he can be a pierogi i want to be chocolate.

  8. megrcam51
    June 23, 2010 9:51 pm

    We are NOT going to hell for laughing but those people who decided he MUST have been mentally challenged because he ran strangely are another story completely.

  9. Monty
    June 23, 2010 10:18 pm

    Did the alleged sex act rhyme with muss-flexplosion of his schmejuni?

    And he’s not mentally challenged — every one of us would look like a penguin if we were running down the street trying to pull our pants up.

  10. unsatisfied
    June 23, 2010 11:11 pm

    SEXual PENguinnnnnnnnnn………..

  11. Larry
    June 24, 2010 2:08 am

    The link concludes “Investigators hope someone can identify the man from the pictures.”

    I do! I do! He’s Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons!!!

  12. Butcher's Dog
    June 24, 2010 8:59 am

    @Ginny: “I’m going to go and be a good person now.” What?! And risk alienating the entire readership? What are you thinking, girl?

  13. bucdaddy
    June 24, 2010 9:57 am

    This looks like a case for BatShelteredWorkshop.

  14. redram1
    June 24, 2010 4:00 pm

    I just hope they got a good look at his face.


  16. Kathy
    June 25, 2010 5:27 pm

    so, I read the article and I liked that victim,
    “I was furious and I was running after him with my car.”
    Really? Does your car have 2 legs or four? Does it run like a penguin?