Random n’at

1. Have you ever gotten stuck in a shirt in a dressing room? Like, you’re 36-years-old but you decide that you might look good in a Juniors size small top with a cute under-boob brown leather belt and so you go in the dressing room and you get that shirt on your head with a little bit of effort? Then you look in the mirror and go, “My God, I look like Fiona from Shrek if Fiona shopped in the Juniors section of Ogres R Us,” and then you try to get the shirt off and guess what? It’s stuck? And then you twist and turn and squirm and get yourself stuck some more. And then you twist a new way and your ear is now pinned to your armpit and the belt is caught in your rat’s nest hair? And then you hear the bursting of a few seams, so you stop moving whatever way you were moving and you seriously consider walking out of the dressing room looking like a batshit crazy mannequin, and begging someone for help or maybe a pair of scissors? Then finally, you twist in the correct way, get the shirt off, and decide that from now on you will carry a tube of Vaseline in your purse at all times so that you can be better prepared to go clothes shopping in the Juniors section?

Yeah, me neither.

2. Furry post coming up and by “furry” I don’t mean “fuzzy,” I mean “hilarious weird awesomeness.”

3. If you or someone you know is planning a wedding, you must go to Lawrenceville tomorrow and check this out! Hand(Made) in Marriage! Pittsburgh’s Indie DIY Wedding Show! I am salivating over the gorgeous letterpress items.

4.  A Pittsburgh-based project for SICK KIDS is in the running for Pepsi Refresh money and they need your votes to keep them in the top ten, which is where they currently sit. This is their last chance to get funded through Pepsi Refresh, so please take a few seconds and vote them up!

5.  Pittsburgh was named the seventh best city in America to raise a family.

[fist bump]

(h/t Whitney)

6. I asked you to vote; you did; they won.

7. A perfectly timed photo, which I would like to get made into a motivational poster that says “HAWKS! Eff yeah!”

Is there a Hawk Appreciation Society on Facebook? Because I need to become their Most High Muckety Muck.

(h/t Cindy)





16 Comments

  1. Burghbird
    June 25, 2010 11:40 am

    Not exactly the same thing, but a few months ago I was at my chiropractor’s office after my massage. I was wearing one of those sheer-blouse-over-tank-top-attached-at-the-shoulders contraptions and I was sure I had straightened it all out before my attempt to redress. By the time it was all said and done, I had pulled the blouse part over my head twice and tied the one sleeve in a complete knot, and had to call in the massage therapist to untangle me.



  2. spoon
    June 25, 2010 11:58 am

    Have you washed the Yinz Team softball shirt yet? I have a 2XL that turned into a large after washing before I stretched it over my knees. i looked like chris farley doing “Fat man in a little coat”.



  3. Marcy
    June 25, 2010 12:27 pm

    I have SO done the shirt as a straitjacket! Once my poor daughter had to untangle me! Juniors section of Ogres R Us – awesome!



  4. BIGGEORGE
    June 25, 2010 12:34 pm

    For the Hawk society you might want to see if you can get a peregrine falcon nesting box set up on the building where your restaurant is. or support the local Audubon society.

    speaking of seat belts, watch this video for seat belt use http://embracethis.co.uk//

    BIGGEORGE



  5. Politicalpartypooper
    June 25, 2010 12:39 pm

    For some strange reason, that picture reminds me of the Looney Tunes chicken hawk.

    “I’m a chicken hawk, and you’re a chicken!”



  6. Ms Lee
    June 25, 2010 1:10 pm

    #5 – While I agree 100% that the Burgh is a great city to live in when raising a family, I question the sanity of the Forbes article… Harrisburg is ranked #2 of all the cities in America. Really? I guess this might be true if the parents happen to be deaf, and therefore can’t hear their children screeching, “I’M BORED!!”



  7. Mama Moose
    June 25, 2010 1:17 pm

    Me neither.



  8. AmyLa
    June 25, 2010 1:30 pm

    I’ve had trouble with the shirts that zip up the side and have that nice band at your rib cage that, according to Stacy & Clinton, is supposed to make you look thinner. Apparently I try on the wrong size every time because I can zip it up but I break my fingers, wrist, and arm trying to unzip…



  9. Leanne
    June 25, 2010 1:32 pm

    I got stuck in a dress last week in Macy’s at Robinson! I tried to Incredible Hulk out of the thing but the seams wouldn’t give (they did rip a little) and my panic attack induced sweat break out didn’t help. I had to walk out and ask a saleslady to help me. She did- she told me the dress wasn’t unzippered all the way and she undid it… Oops!



  10. bucdaddy
    June 25, 2010 1:42 pm

    1. I yearn to get tangled up taking off a dress, as long as I’m not the one who was wearing it.



  11. Monty
    June 25, 2010 2:20 pm

    If it wasn’t for the hawk, that picture would be perfect for my soon-to-be released coffee table book entitled “Portraits of a Disapproving Bea Arthur Staring at Dead City Birds (Autumn Edition).”



  12. Xena
    June 25, 2010 2:23 pm

    I once got stuck in a dress in my own house. It was a vintage gown with a side zip. I got into it OK, went to chaperone a prom, got home the next morning and I had had gotten bigger, evidently, overnight. The zipper went down but I couldn’t get the dress over my ribs, let alone the girls, shoulder and my head. Very claustrophobia-inducing.



  13. Clem
    June 25, 2010 2:26 pm

    That Forbes list seems a little off–Buffalo, Albany, Syracuse, and Rochester are all in the Top 10? So 40% of the best places to raise a family are in upstate NY? Clearly the author hasn’t spent a lot of time in upstate NY. I lived in Buffalo for two years and couldn’t wait to get out of there.



  14. Tina
    June 25, 2010 3:25 pm

    #1 Nooo, of course that never happened to me besides just …. this afternoon at EPSRIT *cough* *blush* *cough* … was a sweet jeans dress btw ..
    But I was lucky enough to safe myself – no external assistance needed, but I was close to ….

    @ Burghbird: So HATE those! Looks perfect, but you so easily kill yourself with it AND it is THE MOST HORRIBLE THING TO IRON! *Freakin’ out!*



  15. LaReina
    June 26, 2010 5:59 pm

    That “hawk imparts justice to a pigeon” photo looks like Boston Common. Cradle of democracy, end of pigeondom.



  16. Christine
    June 28, 2010 8:47 am

    I was trying on wedding dresses in a consignment shop, and the only person there was the owner’s husband. I got stuck in a dress (zipper wouldn’t unzip). I struggled for 15 minutes, mortified, thinking I would have to call this guy to help me. I finally got unstuck, promptly left, and never went back, of course.