This screencap is not of two girls watching the Berlin Wall fall, or two girls reunited after being separated at sea, or two girls who won the PowerBall or two girls whose dog came home.
This is a screencap of two girls who just laid eyes on Taylor Lautner at the theater at the Waterfront during a screening of Twilight’s Total Eclipse of the Breaking Dawn Sparkle Moon, I believe it’s called.
I have never looked like that in my life, and I can pretty much guarantee you the only time I will grab a friend or sister and hug her like that in the REST of my life is if I hear Zima is back in production, or that all the pigeons were eradicated, or that there is finally a clear winner in the Kindle versus Nook debate. The closest I have ever come to that is when the Penguins won the Stanley Cup two years ago last year.
You can watch a video here. If that’s how girls act when the wolf shows up, I gotta wonder if the sparkly brooding vampire had shown up, would he have blinked and then found himself looking at an entire audience of women frantically ripping their clothes off?
As you know, Burghers, I never got into the Twilight craze. I read the first book, thought it acceptable, and had no desire to read another.
As you also know, Princess Aurora and my mother LOVE Twilight.
The other day, I was at my mother’s house with Pens Fan and our kids, who were sliding down the Banzai slide (BANZAI, DANIELSAN!) while us adults sat in the shade. I brought a book with me, THIS BOOK, to be exact.
When I headed into the house to hunt down a cool refreshing beverage, I returned to find my mother holding my book in her hands, the cover facing me, her fingers drumming on it, and a look on her face that clearly said, “BUSTED,” as if she caught me with a stack of Playgirl magazines.
“Is this your book?”
“I thought you weren’t into vampires,” she said accusingly and really, quite victoriously. I think I also saw some smugness.
“Mother. It’s a hilarious book about a hairless vampire cat that feeds on people, in fact, it just ate a meter maid; it’s not a melodramatic angsty book about a sparkly, creepy 100-year-old vampire who breaks into a 17-year-old girl’s bedroom at night and SUPER CREEPILY watches her sleep.”
Pretty sure I won that argument.