[mommyblogging]

How my mornings go when my children are home and I’m trying to write.

Me: [typing] T-o-d-a-y —

Child: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Me: CUT IT OUT OR I WILL THROW ALL OF YOUR LEGOS AWAY! I–w-e-n-t– t-o

Phone: RING RING RING

Me: Eff. Hello? No. Yes. No. Tomorrow. Bye. — t-h-e– A-v-i

Dog: WHINE WHINE MUST PEE WHINE WHINE WHINE

Me: Eff. [get up to let the dog out] [return to chair] -a-r-y-.– I-t

Dog: WHINE WHINE WHINE IT IS HOT OUT HERE LET ME IN WHINE WHINE I CAN DO THIS UNTIL THE NEIGHBORS GET ANGRY WHINE WHINE CRY SCRATCH. WAIT ANY LONGER AND I SWEAR I WILL PUKE IN YOUR SHOES WHEN I GET BACK IN THERE. WHINE.

Me: Eff. [get up to let the dog back in] [return to chair] [realize coffee is now cold] [heat up coffee] [return to chair] –w-a-s–o-n-e–o-f–

Child: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! STOP IT!!!!!!!

Me: I WILL TURN THIS CAR AROU– I MEAN, STOP HITTING YOUR BROTHER! –t-h-e–m-o-s-t

Phone: RING

Child: CRY

Dog: PUKE. I WASN’T JOKING, LADY.

I am not even exaggerating. This is why I’m nine days past deadline for my magazine column, why it took me three hours to write my latest magazine post and why I STILL haven’t finished my latest Random n’at post.

So this morning when I went to Target and saw the workers putting up shelves and shelves of school supplies?

YouTube Preview Image





15 Comments

  1. JenEngland
    July 9, 2010 11:32 am

    Yeah. My daughter, the lovely so-grounded-for-sending-1400-texts-at-$.20-apiece, is spending the summer with me at work. How am *I* the one being punished???? Total. Nightmare.

    Neeeeeeeeeeeeeever stooooooooooppppppsssss tallllllllking. Even when reading. Even when sleeping.

    Yesterday she asked me why I’m so cranky all the time.



  2. Julie
    July 9, 2010 11:34 am

    haha, omg that perfect strangers clip made my morning.



  3. Schuyler
    July 9, 2010 12:06 pm

    LOVE the clip! Whole post, so true! Thanks for the huge laugh!!



  4. MamaPhan
    July 9, 2010 1:05 pm

    I LOVE the clip. Larry & Balki are two of my favorites.



  5. red pen mama
    July 9, 2010 1:39 pm

    This is exactly why I am a Work Outside the Home Mom. I LOVE and ADORE my children. But getting interrupted every 5 minutes kills me. I would like it better if I were a part-time WOTHM (and possibly my house would be cleaner) but I haven’t stumbled onto that happy medium yet.



  6. Angry Mongo
    July 9, 2010 2:17 pm

    When I have a “work at home day” I never finish anyth…



  7. lauren
    July 9, 2010 2:42 pm

    yes. yes. yes. this is my life…including all the Effs.



  8. PittGal in WI
    July 9, 2010 8:45 pm

    There were days when my kids were young when I seriously told them- “It is a good thing I have to go to work this afternoon because you guys would be dead otherwise!!”



  9. Lisa J
    July 10, 2010 7:09 am

    Ok, today you went to the aviary and it was one of the most…what?? You didn’t finish. Am I the only one who caught this? Yes, out of this whole post, that’s what I got. Why? I have 4 kids and 4 dogs. I’ve learned how to drown out the “mom, mom, mom, mom, MOOOOOOM!”.



  10. Virginia
    July 10, 2010 7:37 am

    Lisa J,

    Click on the link that says “my latest magazine post” and you’ll find out. ;)



  11. Allison
    July 10, 2010 11:43 am

    That was a great post, thanks for the good humor! My 2 yo saw it and made me play that clip about 20 times. I am so glad the supplies are back at Target! only 7 more weeks to go!



  12. Lisa J
    July 10, 2010 9:30 pm

    I’m still not sure if you were traumatized for life by the turkey-pigeon or had the best day ever. But I’m going to go with best day ever since you got up close and personal with a penguin.



  13. Carol P
    July 10, 2010 9:40 pm

    Nothing makes a mother happier than the sight of the big yellow bus in the fall.



  14. DG
    July 11, 2010 1:51 pm

    I thought I was the ONLY ONE who remembered the Meposian Dance of Joy!