In which I witness the madness

My 13-year-old niece from Mexico City is living with me for the next seven weeks for her “American Holiday.”

Aside: I can’t say the word “holiday” without immediately thinking of that one chicken in Chicken Run who, each time a fellow chicken would be heading for a beheading, would say in an English accent, “Is he going on a holiday?” Hee.

And we’re back.

So, last night she arrived into Pittsburgh from Mexico City and when we finally got her to our home and all unpacked, we sat down with her in the living room to chat. Our chats mean that I tell my husband what to say and he repeats it to her in Spanish because my Spanish is of the EL SUCKO dialect.

Anyway, this happened last night:

Me: Does she like all that Twilight madness?

Hubby: —- ———- — ——-  Twilight?

Niece: Si.

Me: Tell her Taylor Lautner is in town filming.

Hubby: —- —- ——- ——- Twilight — ——— —– —– Taylor Lautner?

Niece: Que? Quien?

Me: The wolf. With the abs.

Hubby: ——— —- —— ———– lobo —- —– ————- — —- abs ——–?

Niece: Oh, si.

Hubby: ———- ——— ————– —- movie …

Niece: SI?!!?!

Hubby: —– —— ———— aqui en PEETSBORG. (I love the way Spanish-speaking people say Pittsburgh when they’re speaking Spanish.)

Niece: [blink] [blink] SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

She literally covered her mouth for a full three minutes while her eyes were as big as giant eyeball things.

Anyway, if you spot me driving real slowly through Mt. Lebanon at 4:30 in the morning with an adorable Mexican girl in the passenger seat cranking the Stalk-o-Meter to ANNIHILATE, you’ll know why.

Because SQUEEEEEE is a universal language.


  1. ClumberKim
    July 13, 2010 10:41 am

    I love it. The universal language of SQUEEEE!!!

  2. MrsGJG
    July 13, 2010 10:43 am

    Si, my 13- and 14-year-old nieces are all squeeeee! as well. Maybe even I’m a little squeeeee m’self.

  3. Nicole T.
    July 13, 2010 11:12 am

    I feel like doing that would make her American trip completly “American”. There’s nothing better than stalking on a Tuesday morning, and nowhere better to do it than in the good ol’ U.S. of A. hahaha good luck!

  4. Jen
    July 13, 2010 12:09 pm

    He is staying in a house in Virgina Manor.

    Stalk away!

    Good luck!

  5. Cassie
    July 13, 2010 12:18 pm

    That’s the cutest thing I’ve heard all week. She deserves to meet him!

  6. Pensgirl
    July 13, 2010 12:41 pm

    If she so much as catches a glimpse of him, Pittsburgh will forever remain a magical, enchanted place for her. Not to mention she will be an absolute rockstar at home for the rest of her teenage life. If you made that happen, even just an “Only on 4”-type bodyguard-blocked peek, you will be her HERO.

  7. bucdaddy
    July 13, 2010 1:09 pm

    How do you say “Team Beastiality or Team Necrophilia?” in Spanish? Sorry, I only had three years in high school. We barely got past por favor and bien, gracias.

  8. bluzdude
    July 13, 2010 1:21 pm

    Be sure she watches the local news coverage, for an obscured glimpse of his nose and the back of his head. And a tree.

  9. MrsGJG
    July 13, 2010 2:34 pm

    Bucdaddy, is it technically necrophilia if he’s undead?

  10. DrDrama
    July 13, 2010 3:17 pm

    Tu eres una tia buena.

  11. Legally Pittsburgh (Kathy)
    July 13, 2010 11:08 pm

    You know how to get in touch with me…he is here until Sept. and I can probably at least get you an autograph if you want one…let me know!! My daughter has been SQUEEEing for the last couple of weeks!!

  12. Jayknee
    July 15, 2010 8:03 am

    I love this!!