I can’t decide which is my favorite local news story this morning.
Maybe you can help me decide.
You’ve seen the Shake Weight, right? The exercise doohickey that makes it look like you’re, you know. YOU KNOW.
Well, well WPXI’s Robin Taylor, who I have never heard of before in my life, managed to create LOCAL NEWS COMEDY GOLD when the women testing the product said things like:
“The more you do, the more you feel it.”
“It doesn’t hit the spot.”
” You start breathing a little heavier. You sweat a little bit.”
I have to give major major kudos to Robin Taylor for keeping a straight face while shaking the Shake Weight and giving her news report. I know I’m like twelve-years-old because I’d have been all [giggle] [giggle] [ROTFLMAO].
And queuing up in the number two spot of hilarious local news stories, we have this gem out of Apollo.
A serial burglar wasn’t fooled by one couple’s security system – an inflatable doll they say had protected their home for years. The Eckmans in Apollo put the doll which has Raquel Welch’s face on it and a wig on the couch next to a window when they leave home.
They used a blow-up doll. With Raquel Welch’s face on it. I have searched the Internet and I and I cannot find a place selling a Raquel Welch Blowup Doll. So did they buy a regular blowup doll and put her face on it and if so, WHY? If this was for security reasons, maybe they want a slightly more threatening face? Like Steely McBeam’s?
You have to watch the video because Ken Rice somehow manages to keep the Eyebrows of Genuine Concern in place while introducing the story.
It gets better:
“It looks like she’s reading and she sits here as long as we’re gone and then when we come back we say, ‘Hello Alice, we’re back,'” Jane explained.
ALICE?! What’s wrong with Raquel?
The story itself is really sad. I mean, the couple lost some really treasured things, but I just can’t get past THE BLOWUP DOLL.
I guess I’m going to choose the Shake Weight story as my favorite for the day, because in that case, no one lost anything.
Except their dignity.
Also, six million dollars is the sum I would pay to see KDKA’s consumer reporter Jim Lokay profile the Shake Weight in a “Does it Really Do That?” segment.