Random n’at

1. Yesterday, I had a bad day. And the thing is this — I don’t often have bad days. I’m just not one of those people who wakes up some days in a bad mood for no reason and starts kicking the dogs and crying at the drop of a cup of milk.

Not that I kicked my dogs or anything, but man, I kind of wanted to. Everything made me angry and several things made me cry.

Like, do you ever bonk your head on an open kitchen cabinet and instead of just saying, “Ugh,” and closing it up before continuing on your way, every muscle and fiber of your being screams out at you to slam that motherlover shut as hard as you can, swear some really atrocious swear words, and then shoot a glass of wine at 9:30 in the morning?

THAT was what I was like yesterday.

All, “Watch out, Earth and all ye creatures and kitchen cabinets therein. I AM HAVING A BAD DAY.”

Last week, I left the microwave door open (it sits up high in my kitchen), walked by it, bonked my head on it so hard that the door slammed shut, and then almost peed my pants from laughing so hard at myself. If that microwave had accosted me yesterday, I’d be buying a new microwave today to replace the one I destroyed in a murderous, golf club-swinging Hulk-rage.

[awkward kung fu nine iron moves]

I’m feeling much better today. But I think my husband might be wondering if I need therapy.

I don’t. I just need the kitchen cabinets to effing behave themselves.

2.  Nine times out of ten, the Suckitude would probably lose to the Yankees, but here’s a way they can beat them. Led by Andrew McCutchen, the Pirates are competing against other MLB teams for a $200,000 Pepsi Refresh grant. The Pirate’s idea is to plant an urban garden in Pittsburgh and to use the garden to supply various nonprofit local agencies that feed the hungry.

It takes like half a second to vote. I timed it. I was all “One Mississ– THAT WAS FAST!”

Go vote! We might suck at baseball, but one thing Pittsburgh does not suck at is mobilizing our troops to benefit needy Burghers.

(h/t DJ)

3.  Love this from WPXI.

Naked Man Hospitalized After Oakland Window Fall

PITTSBURGH — A naked man who either fell or was pushed from a window in Oakland has been taken to a Pittsburgh hospital. Authorities said the unidentified man, who wasn’t wearing any clothes and wasn’t breathing, was found along North Craig Street late Thursday morning.

Naked in the headline. Naked in the first line. And then just in case you weren’t convinced — “who wasn’t wearing any clothes.”

In other words, NAKED.

(h/t Andrea)

4. If Mister Rogers ever fought with his wife.

(h/t Charles)

5. Dear Craigslist What The Effie, next time “ISO sandbox with lid” would really really suffice.

TMI.

(h/t Valerie)

6. This is so cool. Finding awesome, affordable uses for a giant empty community swimming pool!

7. The Sewickley Herald made it onto David Letterman for this HILARIOUS police blotter article. Check it out.

YouTube Preview Image

What the crap kind of “profanity” does a two-year-old know? When my kids were two, profanity would have been, “You’re a giant stupidhead and your butt smells like poop!”

(h/t Bobby)





18 Comments

  1. Suburban Nor'Side Girl
    July 21, 2010 11:17 am

    Virginia, I have had many days like the one you experienced yesterday. I’m ashamed to say that I have broken things during my Hulking moments.

    WPXI – I think the letters must stand for Wankers Pretending to be eXpert Interviewers.



  2. Ben
    July 21, 2010 11:45 am

    Since they haven’t bothered doing anything about the graffiti for forever, I believe that the official name for the pool now is the Leslie Anarchy pool :D

    Shortened link to Google Maps Streetview
    http://bit.ly/aNCozs



  3. jdp
    July 21, 2010 11:55 am

    The counter on that Pirates Pepsi thing seems to be broken. I wasn’t counting to keep track because I thought it would stop me when I hit the max 10/day anyway. It hasn’t. I got tired of reading captcha’s but I think I was in the 30s of entries before I gave up.



  4. Magnus Patris
    July 21, 2010 12:15 pm

    I think we could grow a lot of vegetables in the Pirates bullpen at PNC Park. That space needs to be put to some use.



  5. jenget
    July 21, 2010 12:17 pm

    A few years ago, I opened a cabinet and a box of Jello fell out on my head. A small box, mind you, not prepared. I threw a fit and practically ripped the cabinet door off it’s hinges and screamed for a good 15 mins. I can’t say I’ve eaten Jello since. My boyfriend still has nightmares. Thanks for validating my insanity.



  6. Ex Ohio Sister
    July 21, 2010 12:19 pm

    Hey Gin- I saw that craigslist posting just today when I was looking for a used sandbox for the girls. I had to read it twice, just to figure out what they were trying to say.



  7. Bri
    July 21, 2010 1:03 pm

    you are hilarious



  8. Jen
    July 21, 2010 1:03 pm

    oh those HULK-RAGE MOMENTS. Yes. Usually over something dumb like the kitchen cabinets, or tripping over a toy, or running into the wall. STUPID WALL.



  9. Steve
    July 21, 2010 1:09 pm

    While the sandbox is funny, it also rips my heart out to think about this sweet little girl.



  10. CrashJK
    July 21, 2010 1:09 pm

    While the urban garden is a nice idea, it’s got fail written all over it…

    I like Johnny Damon’s idea…TEACHER BASEBALL fundamentals to kids…the real american sport !!!…sorry, Damon and Detriot get my votes.

    Oh…and LET’S GO PENS



  11. DG
    July 21, 2010 1:32 pm

    I totally get the Hulk moments – my husband has wondered the exact same thing. And backed away slowly….



  12. Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl
    July 21, 2010 2:16 pm

    I think I voted about 50 times before realizing that it was supposed limit you to ten. You can also vote for the urban garden project by texting “Pirates” to 76462. No limit there, other than what your cell plan places on your texting.



  13. Sooska
    July 21, 2010 2:35 pm

    #1 I have had a bad WEEK. Last Saturday I tore the LCL in my left knee and this Sunday I broke a toe in my left foot. Both while walking; nothing exotic or even fun going on.

    #7 My 2 YO learned some profanity when (this was during the gas crisis of 1978-9) the pump attendant (yes, kiddies) let the tank overflow and began screaming a well-practiced creatively profane litany at the gas pump. Daughter, who talked at 9 months of age, heard and repeated to Nonna (my MIL.) Guess who got blamed?



  14. Me
    July 21, 2010 2:57 pm

    My neighbors must think I have Tourette’s since I’ve had many, many days like your yesterday. I may also either have an anger management problem or just be perimenopausal.



  15. WI Pitt Fan
    July 21, 2010 5:47 pm

    I always make it a point to announce to my work colleagues as I come through the door on those few days a year, “Yes, today I am going to be a bitch. Be warned.”



  16. BeauJacques
    July 21, 2010 9:11 pm

    Whenever I’m having a really bad day, I stop, and remember

    that somewhere, there is a Mr. Pelosi!

    Cheer Up V!! :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)

    plus-

    You’re learning how to bake!!! :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)



  17. Cassie
    July 21, 2010 10:01 pm

    HA! They advised the parents to only remove the batteries, not clean up the kids’ potty mouth. Awesome.



  18. red pen mama
    July 22, 2010 10:54 am

    I have days like that far too frequently. I am blaming the baby boy’s testosterone. Can I do that? This pregnancy has been ragin’. Not in a good way. I hope you recover soon!