I thought he was joking, but he was serious and now here at 10:13 p.m. on July 22, I have only one hour and 47 minutes (gosh, I hope I did the math right) to celebrate this day, this day that the associate minister of my church tells me is …
It is an actual thing! This is like Christmas!
Now I was already ready for bed, but, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be the robed, crazy-haired, mudmask-wearing chick laughing maniacally as she chases pigeons with a Taser while blasting America the Beautiful on her iPod.
Squirt, tase. Tomato, tomahto.
“Oh, beautiful for spacious skies …”