God bless America.

I thought he was joking, but he was serious and now here at 10:13 p.m. on July 22, I have only one hour and 47 minutes (gosh, I hope I did the math right) to celebrate this day, this day that the associate minister of my church tells me is …

NATIONAL SQUIRT A PIGEON DAY.

It is an actual thing! This is like Christmas!

Now I was already ready for bed, but, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be the robed, crazy-haired, mudmask-wearing chick laughing maniacally as she chases pigeons with a Taser while blasting America the Beautiful on her iPod.

What?

Squirt, tase. Tomato, tomahto.

“Oh, beautiful for spacious skies …”





11 Comments

  1. Jasmine
    July 22, 2010 10:33 pm

    I *wish* it was June. Life seemed so much…cooler…then.



  2. Virginia
    July 22, 2010 10:35 pm

    Good catch!



  3. Kristy
    July 22, 2010 11:18 pm

    If I could just “Like” this a bajillion times over, I would. Tase away!!! Tase for all of us!



  4. Amber
    July 22, 2010 11:34 pm

    That is one gnarly looking bird you posted there. Hope you post early tomorrow so I don’t have to look at his evil red eye when I check your blog!!!



  5. Lisa
    July 22, 2010 11:50 pm

    I’d rather see the bellybutton picture again.
    That’s one fugly evil-looking city chicken right there.



  6. bluzdude
    July 23, 2010 8:31 am

    That looks like the “Mr. Burns” of pigeons.

    “Ehhhhhhxcellent!”



  7. Lauren
    July 23, 2010 9:28 am

    Shouldn’t it be like National Squirt a Pigeon Month? Because, frankly, one day to squirt a pigeon is not nearly enough.



  8. bucdaddy
    July 23, 2010 9:45 am

    They were probably thinking “squirt” as in we do the squirting, with squirt pistols or something. Cowards. I’m thinking “squirt” as in stick a pigeon in a vise and tighten ever so slowly until IT does the squirting.



  9. Izzy
    July 23, 2010 10:08 am

    Every day is “Squirt a Pigeon Day” when you have a super soaker ;)



  10. Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl
    July 23, 2010 10:13 am

    Every day is Squirt a Pigeon day for my Grandma. Squirrels, too. She sits for about an hour a day on her back porch knitting and if the pigeons and squirrels come near the porch (or near her birdfeeders for what she considers real birds) she’ll take her spray bottle and start spraying. I’ve watched her be in the middle of dinner all of a sudden jump up (not easy when you’re 90) grab the bottle and run on the porch while spraying and shouting “Shoo! Shoo!”



  11. SpudMom
    July 23, 2010 10:41 am

    If that isn’t a picture of a knowing bastard, I don’t know what is.